Happy Things

Pressed through...had life group.

It was fantastic. There was 28 people here. Several new people. Incredible worship. Joey picked the songs tonight. Wouldn't you know he picked "Bless the Lord". I made my soul bless the Lord for his goodness, for his favor, for his wisdom, and it felt good. There were a million kids here and I loved it.

Here's another thing that is awesome: Miles has been laughing and smiling and interacting like I've never seen him do before. Ask Rachel or Krissy for details. His body looks great. He's laughing. He's so happy. I love it! Tonight he was making everyone full of joy. During prayer Rose was thanking God for all the progress she sees in Miles. Tonight I was singing a song loud to him and making him claps his own hands. He was laughing so hard he turned beet red! He had to catch his breath he was laughing so hard. Also, he's been making a ton of noises. I can hear him right now rooms away, and it makes my heart so light and happy. Tonight for the first time ever Spencer is spending the night in Miles room with him. Spencer always wants to sleep with Miles, but we never let him. Tonight we told Spencer he could and his whole face lit up. This evening Spencer was holding Miles and he was telling him that he knew that Miles was going to be fighting with him soon, and playing his X-Box. Spencer just knows it. Spencer was telling me that he prays for Miles everyday. This morning he went to Miles room and prayed for him before he went to school, and then he also had the kids in his class pray for Miles again today. Spencer's teacher told me that they all pray for Miles every single day. What a pair those two are.

No Good Title

I’ve never felt this one before.

I was putting on my make-up and trying to get to a place of peace with the Lord. I asked him, “Where are you.” I’ve been upset about Sunday. Wounded is a better word than upset. Anyway, I haven’t felt comforted by the Lord. I haven’t felt rebuked by the Lord. I haven’t felt compassion from the Lord. I’ve felt nothing. As I was sitting there doing my make-up I was trying to figure out what this familiar yet unfamiliar feeling I was having towards the Lord. Then it hit me.
I feel like I need to FORGIVE the Lord for not restoring Miles Sunday night.
When there are people in my life that I need to forgive I have a heaviness on my heart that I know I need to release. This is fairly easy for me to do. Once I release that person then the heaviness is gone. Anyway, when I recognized this heaviness as the forgiveness heaviness I was a little shocked!
Is feeling like I need to forgive God for not restoring Miles blasphemy?
I feel so hurt and disappointed in my God for Miles not walking out of church on Sunday evening. Right now as I write this I have a physical pulsing pain in my chest. It’s pulsing in brokenness.
Can I say, “Lord, I forgive you for not restoring Miles yet”? Is that right on any level? I have no idea. I’ve never felt like this before.

Need Favor!

Hey, please pray for me on my new adventure! I'm selling one of Randy's houses. The ad will come out this Thursday, and I will be showing it. The whole thing is my job, and I've never sold a house before! I'm excited! I'm really excited because I get to keep the money from the sell! He's paying me 5% of the sell. I need favor and wisdom! I plan on using the money for a family vacation to the beach this summer. I really want to sell this thing quickly! I'm about to go put a sign in the yard. Then, I'm going to go to Wells Fargo so I can have a few Pre Approval forms on hand for interested buyers. I've already placed the ad, and I've also made me an awesome folder that has all the information that a buyer might ask. I want this deal to prosper our family!

Papel Higienico Sin Perfume (Unscented Bathroom Tissue)

How much toilet paper does your family use in a week?



Funny question I know, but it’s kind of interesting.
I go back and forth on what kind of toilet paper I buy. I also go back and forth on buying small packages and bulk packages. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to the seasons of toilet paper purchases, except for that I also have to buy the stuff.

Right now I’m buying the cheap Angel Soft regular rolls. I have to buy 2 packages (8 rolls) a week. I also like to buy the Double rolls of Cottenelle with Aloe, but that gets to be pricey. Plus, I don’t have a lot of storage places for extra TP so the small rolls are handy.

We have 7 people in our family. Miles doesn’t use the potty so that’s 6 people using the toilet paper. Plus, we have Christy in our house 40 hours so she counts as a regular TP user. Then, we also have life group in our home every week so on Wednesday nights we have up to 25 people here and I know a lot of them visit the restroom while they are here.
So for all those people it adds up to 792 Square Feet a week. That’s 3,168 square feet monthly. That’s 41,184 square feet of toilet paper a year for our family alone!


Now, when you answer on how much Toilet Paper your family uses every week you have to answer in square feet because every brand is different. If it’s by square feet then we won’t have to account for regular, double or triple rolls. You can find out the square footage on the package.

When Randy heard how many square feet of toilet paper our family uses weekly (being the home builder that he is) figured out that: How ever many square feet of TP you use weekly times 3 equals the amount of square feet you need in a house. _____X3=sq ft house you need.

So, I don’t know what made me think about this, but I’m sure glad that I have somewhere to release these strange observations of mine.

Joey & Star Wars Trivia

Joey and his friend is really into Star Wars right now. Joey begged us last night to rent a Star Wars movie. Randy took him into the store and he rented Episode IV. Well, this morning the very first thing he talked to me about was more Star Wars trivia. He was asking me if I knew about Jobba the Hut's previous relationship with Hons Solo. I did not. Then he was talking to me about different languages that they speak and things like that. Next came words like Rebels, Empires, Troops, Droids, Jedi's until I was almost glazed over with facts when he asked me very seriously, "Why does Princess Leya's hair look like two big cinnamon buns?"

Finally, something I can understand!

Author To Be

Interesting:

My house cleaner came over today and she was talking about the book that she should write. She already has a name for it. It would be called "My Front Porch". It would be about all the crazy people that come to her house, and all the drama that they bring to her Front Porch. She said that it would be a bestseller for sure.
She's told me about some of the encounters that goes on at her house. I would read the book.

Okay, that was today.

This morning I ran into a lady we all know, but I don't want to uncover. She started telling me that she should write a book about her life. She talked about how the book would be about how half her life she wasted doing nothing, then she spent a few years wanting to kill some people, then she just got ready to die and now...(I can't remember the now). I was too busy thinking about this post. Anyway, it sounds a little dark, but since I know her I would read the book.

I know Franceca is going to write a book, Ashlee wants to write a book, Rachel feels led to write a children's church curriculum. You all know that my deep desire is to write bestselling books.

So, my question is WHEN IS ALL THE BOOK WRITING GOING TO HAPPEN?

I felt like the Lord told me that I am going to write books, and that someone was going to give me a laptop (a nice one), and that I was to write an hour a day. Of course I've been waiting for the laptop to arrive. I even prayed about it again today. I haven't started the hour a day because the Lord hasn't given me the laptop yet so that word wasn't confirmed.
I say...I just start writing. I don't need a laptop to write! I don't need that word confirmed to begin writing my book. I can talk about my book all day long, but if I never write it then there will never be a book. So, my book writing begins today. I'm officially writing a book.

I would read my own book. I'm sure it will be great.

S-miles

The CUTEST, Most LOVED boy on the Planet.

What I did today...

I had a great day of errands planned today. I only had Melody to cart around today, and she's Way easy. We started off the morning early when I got a call from Spencer's school to tell me that he was complaining about his hand a lot, and they thought that he broke his finger. Last night before Life Group he was trying to do cartwheels and his bent his fingers back. It was bothering him last night, but I didn't think much about it.
Well, my plans were interupted and I took him to the doctor and got him checked out. After several hours in the making I found out that he just sprained it and broke some blood vessels. (sigh)
Well, we had a good time. I'm glad he's okay. He's wearing some tape on his fingers, and he assures me is helping a lot!



His first X-Rays! He did great!


Melody stuck her stickers on me while we were waiting for the doctor. YES, I still had them on my boobies when I was talking to the doctor. I noticed them during the conversation and then ripped them off. (another sigh) I just gave the doctor a look like, "Well, you know how it is!"

My Sweet Spot.

As requested here are some pictures of my beloved Scrapbook Station. I wish I spent more time scrapbooking there, but instead I use it mostly to sign folders for my kids in the morning. I also use it for a purse holder. I also use it to keep away all my markers and paper from little hands. I also use it to show off my husband's building skills. I also use it for card writing...not card making but card writing. Maybe one day it will be used for scrapbooking. That will be a happy day.

My latest bling bling...

I just had to share a picture of my new Bling Bling Chandelier with you!

I love it! Randy hung it above my scrapbook station. It's so bright and cheery, and makes me feel like a Princess. If I were a chandelier...this is what I would look like! I'm spoiled!

What Have We Been Up To?

There hasn’t been a lot of going on in Blogville this week.

Maybe we’re all working out so intensively that we hardly have a minute to type.
Well, that’s not my problem.

Maybe we took Pam’s blog post about shooting our arrows into their destiny to heart so we’ve been shaping and molding them into the way they should go.
That’s not really what I’ve been up to.

Maybe we’re way too caught up with the latest gossip about Britney Spears shaving her head so we’re searching every gossip channel to get the latest.
That’s not been my deal.

Maybe, just maybe, we’ve taken up Kevin and Ashlee on their soaking suggestions and been laid out in the Spirit for the past 3 days.
Oh, I wish that was me!

Maybe we’ve been stuck in our regular routine of work, sleep, eat, clean, shower, laundry, cooking, bathing, shopping, work, sleep, eat, clean, shower, laundry, cooking, bathing, shopping…and we’re so dang bored that there isn’t anything interesting to talk about.
Yep, that’s me.

My iPod Holder

This is me working out before the Valentine's Banquet! Spencer took this picture of me. I've got my iPod stuck in my bra where it should be. Very nice.

I WON!!!!

So, I won the contest on http://mccobbey.blogspot.com/ website. I was already a fan of her writing, but now that I've won something on her site I'm an even bigger fan.

Guess what I won...



Yep that's right...Starbucks money! Oh yea! Also, she MADE me a great card. Joey was impressed if that means anything.


Here's a few things that I've noticed about mccobbey that makes her Rock.
*First of all she uses words like Rock.
*You can tell that she adores her husband. I love that.
*She keeps her word...I did receive a great prize as promised.
*She can describe food better than any menu I've ever read.
*She loves being with her girlfriends. I can relate.
*She's a little wild.
*Her vocabulary is ginormous. (Is that in the dictionary?)
*She's a fellow fan of Jack Black.
*She's way funny when she talks about her family.
*She scrapbooks. I'm sure by the skills from the card that her scrapbooks are awesome.
*She could totally be a movie critic. When she describes a movie it makes you want to run to the theatre and watch it.
*She taught me about movie boyfriends. My current movie boyfriend is the guy off of Stomp the Yard.
*She's encouraging.
*The major thing she rocks at is writing. I love reading her stuff. She cracks me up with her descriptions. She can take the most mundane thing (like a menu) and make it the most interesting thing you've read all day. It's a treat to read what she has to say.

So, there's a few reasons that you should be a fan of mccobbey's website.

Thank you very much for the Starbucks!

A visit to the Ladies room...

I got this in an email today from my terrific friend Carolyn. I laughed so hard that I just had to share it here. Plus, since the last post must have rattled a few of you...only brave Aaron dared to comment...I thought it might be nice for some comic relief. Enjoy.

When women have to visit a public bathroom, they usually find a line of women, so we smile politely and take our place. Once it's our turn, we check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and we dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. We get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long we are about to wet our pants!

The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. One would hang her purse on the door hook, if there were one, but there isn't - so we carefully but quickly drape it around our neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if we put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance."

In this position, our aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. We'd love to sit down, but we certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so we hold "The Stance."

To take our mind off our trembling thighs, we reach for what we discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In our mind, we can hear our mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Our thighs shake more.

We remember the tiny tissue that we blew our nose on yesterday - the one that's still in our purse. That would have to do. We crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than our thumbnail.

Someone suddenly pushes open our stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits our purse, which is hanging around our neck in front of our chest, and we and our purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.

"Occupied!" we scream, as we reach for the door, dropping our precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose our footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.

It is wet, of course

We bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Our bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because WE never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if we had taken time to try.

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers our butt and runs down our legs and into our shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At that point, you give up.

We're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. We're exhausted. We try to wipe with a gum wrapper we found in our pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. We can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so we wipe our hands with a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. We are no longer able to smile politely to them.

A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from our shoe. (Where was that when we needed it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restroom
(rest??? you've got to be kidding!!).And it also explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs.

It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!!

Long Winded Post...Grab a snack before you start reading this one.

Botox went well the other day. He had 8 to 10 injections in his upper body. Hopefully by Monday we will be able to tell a difference in his body tone. While Dr. Marks was getting the injections ready he made a funny/disturbing comment about how a big batch of bacteria was brewed and then the poison was harvested, and that was about to be injected into Miles.
Here’s something interesting. Dr. Marks said that this was only the second batch of Botox ever brewed. The first batch that was made had to be approved by the FDA, and then when the second batch was made it had to be approved by the FDA. I thought that was interesting. If “they” the medical field, are just now on the second batch…that had to be one large first batch.
Anyway, Miles did just fine. It wasn’t the most fun appointment for him, but I believe it will be worth it. I comforted myself by thinking if I were in his position that I would want to go through a little pain to get relief.


So, that’s the Botox update.

What I really want to talk about is some things that Randy and I were talking about on the way home from Ft. Worth.

You know I’ve talked about which would be better:
A: Miles instantly healed as in running around and saying Mama.
B: One day he just starts over and we get to see his ‘First” everything.

Well, Randy and I were on that subject again to pass our very familiar Ft. Worth trip. New topics were talked about this time. You will just have to try to follow my thoughts here. I really wish I had the conversation recorded so I could transfer all our thoughts, but of course I don’t so I’m going to try to make sense of them here.

Before we started talking about all this I was listening to one of my new favorite songs called Big Enough. It’s by Ayiesha Woods. The chorus is: I don’t want to box you in. You’ve been doing big things since the world began. Sometimes I just don’t understand that you’re big enough.
So, as I was listening to that song I was thinking about the new brain that Becky spoke over Miles. I was thinking about all that means. A brain is well, it’s a brain. It controls everything. Do you know that Miles has low body temperature because his brain doesn’t regulate it properly? Miles feet are purple a lot of times because his spine has taken over his legs where the brain doesn’t work properly. The brain does everything. I’m sure you know that. So, anyway, back to the song. As I was thinking about the song and thinking about the new brain and what that all meant. A fear of mine is that Miles will get a new brain and then he won’t know who Randy, the kids and I are. I getting to think that it might be freakish to have this little boy running around that doesn’t know us. Anyway, so I kick that thought out by thinking how big God is, and that I’m sure he has everything under control. I’m sure that he will make sure that Miles knows that we have taken care of him for the past two years. I’m sure he will remember how we love him and how we smell. I say I’m sure, but I don’t know if that’s true. It’s a valid thing to think about. Would his new brain have all that left over love info or does that sort of thing stay with his soul or spirit? Makes you wonder doesn’t it? I mean we’re not talking about him growing back an arm.

So, I was already thinking about those things when Randy brought up the topic with a new twist. He was thinking about how if Miles was totally healed and running around would he know everything he should know at the age of 2 and a half or would he have to learn everything. Would Miles know that we sit down when we eat? Would he know how to connect toys together? Would he know that when we go somewhere that we go in a car? Or would we have this 2 and a half year old that has to be taught how to behave? Both ways seems strange. I always thought that Miles would know how to eat instantly, but does that make sense? Deep breath. There’s more to this madness.
Okay, what about if Miles one day just starts over? What if tomorrow at church he gets a new brain and then for the next year he does his first year over? What if in 6 months he begins to crawl and do all that, and then he just eventually catches up to other kids his age? Doesn’t that sound awesome? I love thinking about seeing all of his “Firsts”. It would be like a weekly miracle. Every time he did something new I would be like a new Mom telling everyone. No, I will probably be worse than any new Mom! Excitement would over take me. Here’s the thing with that idea. If it was a one day start over what would happen to the damage that has already happened to his body? Would his tone loosen up? Would his circulation work properly? Would his body have to work the damage out eventually or would it be instant? My brain hurts thinking about how much my brain analyzes these things.
Then I remembered what Alan Vincent said when he prayed over Miles. He told us that he knew that Miles was going to be okay. He said he felt it in his spirit and in his bones. He prayed that Miles would catch up quickly to his peers.
That sounds like a starting over kind of healing to me.
Okay, but then I had some new revelation.
I started thinking about how I don’t really like saying that I want Miles to be healed. I really like to ask that Miles will be totally restored. I began to think about restoration, and I thought that to be restored to something means that it is put back to the way it was. Miles was two months old when his brain was damaged. Does being totally restored mean that his brain would be restored to the two month stage? Will God restore his brain where it was when all this happened and then he will go from there? I thought about how earlier during “the day” he was lying down on my bed and he just started recognizing me and smiling at me. I grabbed my camera and took several pictures of him smiling at me. Getting that film developed later tore my heart out because I knew those beautiful pictures of him smiling were on the roll. Anyway, that was my revelation about being restored. I never thought about it like that. I’ve always thought when I prayed for total restoration that I was praying for him to be brought up to date of where he should be. I was thinking about restoration as given back everything that he should have. But, that doesn’t really make sense to me now. I pictured an old car that has been restored and I picture it looking brand new like it did when it was made. I guess you could make over an old car and install lots of modern technologies in it, but it wouldn’t be called a restored car. (Please bear with me. I know this is a lot of deep in the cream sort of thoughts.)

So, there’s a taste of my thoughts concerning the area of Miles’ healing. It’s just a minute compared to all the thoughts I have about the subject. Of course I know that the Lord is going to do it the way he has planned to do it. Of course I have to believe that he is a good God and he knows what the very best scenario is, and I probably haven’t even thought of it yet. I know that no matter how God heals Miles that I’m going to know that it is perfect, and I will celebrate like I never have before. I guess I’m sharing these things to get them on paper and to also share with all of you the sheets and sheets of data that goes through my head regularly. Also, I would like to know what direction to pray for specifically. I want to have a target to shoot for in my prayers.
You know, this morning I was thinking about all of you. I was thinking about how this thing has tested every relationship that I have, and my relationship with each of you has been tested with fire and each of you have come out beautifully. For that I am truly thankful

Movie Day

I did one of my favorite things to do today...I got to go to the movies all by myself! I love it. I went to see Catch and Release. It was very enjoyable. I love going to the movies with Randy. I love going to the movies with girlfriends. I love going to the movies by myself. It's so fun to sneak off during the middle of the day and watch whatever I want. While I'm there I can laugh, cry or feel whatever I want. I always feel like I'm getting away with something when I'm there alone. It feels like a stolen moment just for me. I love it.

New Camera & Wheelchair Talk

Well, I got a digital camera yesteraday on our trip to Ft. Worth.
The story of Why I got the camera is a lot more interesting than the info that I got a digital camera, but I can't spill the beans about that one. So, I guess you will just have to be entertained by these pictures of Miles and his wheelchair.



I painted that desk in his room recently. I love it!

He loves his wheelchair. He sits up so well in it. He can see everything that's going on.

I promise Miles doesn't have red eyes. I just haven't figured out this camera yet.

I know I freaked out about this wheelchair when he got it, but I really do love it now. I'm so thankful for it. It's a huge blessing to Miles, and a huge blessing to our whole family.

Botox Day

We’re off to Ft. Worth again this morning. Miles is having Botox injections today on his neck, shoulders, biceps, pecks, hands and I guess whatever else they decide to do. I’m mostly excited about this appointment. I’m excited at the thought of him having relief in his body. I think by Monday we should be able to see a difference in his upper body tone. He should be a lot more loose and relaxed. What a blessing for Miles!

So, today he has to get a lot of shots, but in a few days he should have great relief.

Encouragment

I got these pictures from The Biggest Loser website. These are the Play at Home contestants. They did it at home...so can we!

Remember This?

I'm the Cute one in the middle!

Feeling Thankful

Miles has Medicaid for insurance. I love it! He gets it because of his disability.

My other kids don’t have Medicaid because we make too much moola. I love that too!

I got a letter from Kinder Hearts (Home health office) with the information about how much Medicaid is billed for Miles to have 40 hours a week nurse care. Are you ready for this whopping total? It’s $50,400 annually! $50,400. Say it with me…$50,400. When I heard this I was again filled with thankfulness for how great my God takes care of my family!

Add the annual $50,400 to the $10,000 a year for Miles therapy, at least $10,000 for equipment that he has (example the $7,000 wheelchair), also add $7,500 he get a year from social security which makes our house payment every month. Then, try to add up all the doctors appointments he has, Botox injections, and surgeries. Okay, and now try to add up all the medications that is paid for! His medications cost about $1000 a month. Add in all the testing he has had and 10 days in the hospital…I think he’s a million dollar baby!

He’s worth every penny!

I am overwhelmed with thankfulness to God for taking care of us.
I am also overwhelmed with thankfulness for what a great government we have that helps with Miles’ medical bills.

Say Ah Pt. 2

Well, back from the dentist.

Spencer had a great check up.

Jocie refused to get checked. She freaked out. There was no way of making her. She did get a spanking and she happily took it to avoid the dentist.

Joey had three cavities and had to get fillings. My heart sank. I've been so proud of how well the kids teeth have been taken care of. They've gone to the dentist since they turned 2 and always it's been an enouraging perfect check up. The dentist was nice and he took great care of Joey. Joey took it like a man. He said that it was weird but fun. He was just fine and didn't complain one time. I'm so proud of him. Also, the dentist said that we need to make a consulation with the orthodontist. When Joey's teeth came in they came in crooked. (sigh)

Well, I left there feeling heavy hearted, but I've just decided to change my thinking. I take great care of my kids. Brushing teeth is important to me. I took care of Joey's cavities. That's all I can do. So one of my children had a cavity. My world shall not end.

Say Ah

Well, I'm about to get all the kiddos ready to take them to the dentist for a check-up all by myself.
I hope it's a terribly dull event without one interesting thing to post about the whole visit. We'll see.

My arms hurt!

In addition to my new regular exercise program I had an idea to enhance my body. I thought how great it would be to daily do my weight in half push-ups and half crunches. It sounded easy enough. When I told my idea to Randy he was surprised because push-ups are hard. I thought that it would be easy enough. Well, last night was the first night to attempt my body weight in crunches and push-ups.

I didn’t make it.

I decided that I would do my GOAL weight in half push-ups and crunches. That worked out great. I think that I will do it by faith that I will make it there. When I do get there I would like to do my current weight in half push-ups and crunches as a faith statement that I never want to be there again.

Let me tell you…my arms feel like jell-o. I just did my push-ups/crunches for the night and I can hardly type. It’s working!

Excited!!!

February 1, 2007

Okay, so the game of losing has begun.
I got my body fat measured…wow.
I got my weight written down…pretty high.
I got Rachel to take my pictures…not pretty.
Measurements…Yikes.

Even so, I’m feeling great and I’m excited.
I’m so glad that we’re doing this together.
I have everything I need to be the biggest loser!

May he send us help from the sanctuary and grant us support from Zion. May he remember all our sacrifices and accept our burnt offerings. May he give us the desires of our heart and make all our plans succeed. We will shout for joy when we are victorious and we will lift up our banners in the name of the Lord. May the Lord grant all our requests!