Longing

I watched two precious kids for a friend of mine today. They’re ages 1 and 2. I watched and marveled at all they could do. When my babies were young of course I enjoyed and bragged about their milestones. I was excited for the day but always in a hurry for the next one to come. I was always looking forward to what came next. I don’t think I took for granted what they could do for the day but I didn’t realize what a miracle each milestone really is.

In less than a week Miles will turn five years old.
There are so many many milestones that I’ve never seen him do.
I’ve watched and waited for five years for things that have never arrived.
I’ve longed and prayed for that special word “mama” to pass through his lips but it’s never made it through.
I’ve desired to see him sit and play on the floor with toys like I saw those two kids do today.

Intentional eye contact, reaching out for me, sitting up, crawling, walking, throwing a fit, potty training, climbing into bed with me, holding a toy, sneaking into the pots and pans, chasing his brothers and sisters, wrestling with his Poppa, feeding himself, fighting bedtime…hugging me. Those things have never come.

Even so my heart longs for them.

I want to trade tube feeds and medicine cocktails in the morning & evening for all those things. I want to trade Dr. appointments and breathing treatments for those precious milestones. I want to trade medical supplies and handicap accessibility for them.

God made our bodies so miraculously. He made them work in such an amazing way. Our brains are probably the most intricate things on the planet. It’s amazing what you can’t do if yours doesn’t work.