Thursday, February 18, 2010

He's getting bigger...

The wheelchair that I never thought would be is now too small.

Today Rody from Freedom2Go is going to come and measure Miles for a new seating system. He's outgrown his wheelchair seat. When Miles first got his wheelchair he was so tiny! He was tiny but getting very hard to carry everywhere. I was so devastated when his wheelchair was delivered. I knew that I knew that I knew that he would be healed before he ever had to use a wheelchair. I would have bet anything I owned on that truth. I believed that God had told me something that he apparently never told me because it didn't happen and he's not a liar.

So, we've now had the wheelchair for over 3 years, and honestly it's been a huge blessing! Miles is so comfortable in it and it allows him to go where ever we go. The everyday use of it is a blessing. What is represents is what's more devastating. One only has a wheelchair if they need it. Miles definitely needs it.

Here's a picture of him when he was measured for his first wheelchair. He looks so tiny.


Here's a picture of him today getting measured.




I'm not depressed or mad about the situation. It's just that certain days like today feels heavier than usual. I never thought Miles would need a wheelchair. He does. Most days I'm thankful that he has a wheelchair. Today isn't necessarily one of those days.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

McDentist

O Happy Day!!!!

Man, what I’m excited about may not excite you, but I can’t explain what kind of weight was lifted off my shoulders today!

I took Miles to a GREAT DENTIST today! Yes, I’m excited about dentistry.

Here’s the thing. I brush Miles’ teeth daily, but because of his muscle tone and some other issues it’s hard to brush his teeth perfect. He clinches his jaw most of the time so it’s hard to get to the back of his teeth and behind his teeth. I noticed some build up behind his teeth, but sometimes it’s impossible to get. I can’t force his jaws open. Plus, he’s like a snapping turtle. If he clamps down he doesn’t know that he needs to let go.

I’ve taken him for a couple of check ups before, but the dentist just never seemed to care enough to really do anything for Miles. She moved his lips, looked at his front teeth, said “Good Job Mom” and sent us on our way. (Does anyone remember my horror story about Spencer’s 2 bottom teeth and the dentist?) Same dentist. Don’t ask me to repeat the story. I’ve tried to block it out. :)

Anyway, about 2 weeks ago I called our pediatrician and the neurologist in Ft. Worth for a special needs dentist recommendation. I didn’t get any advice from them at all.

Well, in the mail I got a postcard from Abilene Pediatric Dental.



I called them and talked to a wonderful woman on the phone. I explained to the receptionist my concerns about Miles and she assured me that Dr. Hamilton would know just what to do with him. She said that he’s the only Pediatric Dentist in Abilene. SHE GOT ME IN THE NEXT WEEK! For a check-up! I was impressed by that!

Today was the appointment and the place looks amazing! It’ really nice in there! When the child lays on the chair they have a big screen tv on the ceiling where the kids can watch cartoons! Miles didn’t watch the cartoons, but other kids would love that! The nurses were great!

Most important…Dr. Hamilton was so good with Miles! He cleaned his teeth. He talked to Miles. He answered all my questions. He listened to me! He’s also ordering me an appliance that will help me clean Miles’ teeth…FOR NO CHARGE!!! He said that he’s going to order me this sponge stick that I can put in Miles’ mouth to hold it open so I can get to his back teeth…and so he can’t bite me! I didn’t even know there was such a thing.

Also, um, well, the doctor happens to look like McSteamy on Grey’s Anatomy!



AnyWHo! I don’t care what he looks like! He was awesome to Miles and I today! He wants to see Miles every 3 months to keep up with his dental care. Kids with cerebral palsy have a lot of dental issues. Miles’ doesn’t ever use his teeth so they don’t grow the same way ours does. His back teeth are in, but they barely come above the gum because he doesn’t use them. Also, with all his medications that can effect his teeth.

In a few months (when his lungs are healthier) we’re going to put him under anesthesia to get full dental x-rays to check on his teeth growth and give him a good cleaning while his mouth can be opened and relaxed. Right now he doesn’t have any cavities, which I’m so thankful for!

The whole experience this morning felt like a gift from the Lord! I literally felt like crying for joy when I left there. I’ve seen kids and teenagers with cerebral palsy who have terrible teeth! It’s so sad! I feel like I’ve found the perfect dentist for Miles that will do the very best for him! The Lord has been so faithful to us over and over to make sure we have the best care for Miles. God’s faithfulness is overwhelming to my heart!

Randy Hamilton lll, DMD
Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry
4741 Buffalo Gap Rd.
Abilene, TX 79606
325-437-5284

www.abilenepda.com

Did I mention he looked like McSteamy?

Monday, February 15, 2010

5 Days Post Hospital

Here we are 5 Days Post Hospital Stay and the million dollar question is, "How's Miles' feeling?"

Sick.

He's still feeling sick.

This is how he looked this morning when I went to get him out of bed this morning.



Since leaving the hospital he's on 2 antibiotics and a steroid. 1 antibiotic he takes 2 times a day. 1 antibiotic he takes 3 times a day. The steroid he takes 2 times a day. He's also on 3 different breathing machine medicines every 4 hours, plus The Vest...A.K.A "The Snot Shaker" on top of all the other regular medicines that he's taking.

And still he looks like this!!!


Personally I think he sounds as bad or worse then when we were admitted in the hospital. This is the frustrating part. I'm doing what I can to make him better, but he's still sick. Will this blow over and soon he will be better or will we be in the hospital again next week because the snot factory won't stop?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

SEVENTEEN

My SEVENTEEN magazine is selling today on Ebay. It's from June 1947. Can you believe that? Anyway, I just LOVE this magazine. It's so neat to see all the ads from that time. The whole thing is glamours. I have to say goodbye to it today so I wanted to post a few of the pictures on here so I can come back and look at the pictures. The pictures don't really do it justice but you can get the picture. So far I've got a bid on it for $25 plus $7 shipping. Considering that it only cost 15 cents way back in the day I'm pleased with the sale.











Monday, February 08, 2010

Rough Day

My chest feels like I just can't seem to breathe enough air.

Miles is so sick.

I've got a couple of hours to shower, mail some ebay stuff at the post office, grab some groceries and then...take Miles back to the doctor. I'm not expecting to come back home. I'm pretty sure he will be admitted. I took him to the doctor last Monday and he narrowly escaped being put in the hospital. Today he's worse and blood is coming out of his nose and mouth, and I don't mean a little. I'm pretty calm when it comes to this stuff and last night I felt light headed because all of the blood Randy suctioned out of his nose and mouth. It was so freaky. Then because of all the stress to his body Miles ended up having several seizures. I just had to hold my bloody boy with his shaking body and tell him that I was there with him and that I love him.

I'm trying to run all my errands so I can be free to do what I need to with Miles.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Sabah

Remember our friend from high school opened up the restaurant called Papa Roosters? Well, that place didn't work out and they quickly shut it down. Randy had helped the owner remodel that ugly whole in the wall into a nice looking place. I'm sad for our friend that it didn't work, but he was trying to manage while still living in Austin and that turned out to be harder than he thought.
ANYWAY, a new restaurant is in the same building and the strangest thing happened...Randy was working on the new owner's home when he was just thinking about opening the new restaurant. He told Randy that he wanted to open up a Middle East restaurant and he was wondering if Randy would come check out the prospective location and let him know if a wall could be taken down or not. When Randy went to check it out he was shocked that it was the old Papa Rooster's location. The wall that Sabah wanted taken down was a wall that Randy had just built for the previous owner. We thought that was so funny. He didn't end up doing the work. The wall ended up staying.
The reason I bring all this up is because...although Randy didn't end up doing the work for Sabah, Randy did get to hear his amazing story about how he came to live in Abilene all the way from Iraq. I wanted to share his story with you, but I wasn't sure if it was too personal so I asked Randy if he thought Sabah would mind if I wrote about it. Come to find out there was an article written about him recently and it had been sent to Randy to read. So, now I don't have to write the article. I just posted it on here.
Sabah and his family are so interesting! I can't imagine all the changes they've been going through during these last few months. Read the article about his family.
Also, Sabah invited Randy to his restaurant and Randy really liked to food. It's not like anything we have here or anything like I cook at home. It's a total different experience. Go check it ou
t!




(All photos by Thomas Metthe)

Through the fire: Restaurateur from Iraq has new life in Abilene
By: Jaime Adame


Sabah Hammoodi keeps a folder with the certificates and photos that document his last few years in Iraq.

He was busy on a recent afternoon tending to customers at Middle East, a restaurant at 4621 S. 14th St. that he opened Jan. 15 after moving to Abilene less than five months ago.

His wife, Muazaz, and oldest daughter, Sara, may be the main cooks, with hummus, falafel and entrees like makloba and beryane on the menu, along with kabobs and gyros.

But Hammoodi, 58, also wears an apron and likes to cook himself, he said.

Between taking orders from customers, fielding phone calls, and popping into the kitchen, he shared his memories of Iraq following the launching of Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003.

Opening his folder, he took out a few photos. Mostly, he is smiling in the pictures he has kept from that time, including posed shots with American soldiers.

“She is a major,” Hammoodi said proudly.

Only weeks after Operation Iraqi Freedom began, Hammoodi found his life transformed.

Before the war, he drove a taxi on the streets of Baghdad, his home since birth.

Amid the lawless chaos that followed the crumbling of the Saddam Hussein regime, he rushed to Baghdad’s civil airport after hearing a rumor it was being reopened by Americans.

He wanted a job. Hammoodi had worked there for about 15 years, becoming chief steward before economic sanctions effectively grounded passenger travel in the early 1990s.

As he drove his taxi, an old Toyota, to the airport, he stopped at a military checkpoint. There, he agreed to take as passengers two Iraqi men eager to meet with a U.S. Army official in hopes of becoming interpreters.

“They speak with him Arabic,” Hammoodi recalled, smiling broadly.

Hammoodi had learned English in school, as did many Iraqis, and found himself explaining in English what the men were trying to say.

On the spot, he was hired to be an interpreter.

“It’s coming to me from the sky,” said Hammoodi, recalling his reaction at having landed an opportunity to support his family. When told he could start tomorrow, he insisted on starting that same day.

Shifting role

At the airport, the American military maintained a strong presence. Hammoodi’s role shifted away from interpreting after only a few months.


Soon, he began supplying food made at his home to hungry soldiers. He began handling various tasks, like overseeing a coffee shop. He was issued a weapon, and took on field work like projects to install roadway security gates and spike strips.

In the “dark years” of economic sanctions before Operation Iraqi Freedom, Hammoodi, a Sunni Muslim, said that for a time he toiled selling cigarettes on the street. His two oldest boys — still only children — were needed to help him as he struggled to support his wife and their seven children.

At first, he was paid about $3 a day to work with the Army. Later, he earned $350 a month, and even received a roughly $50,000 contract related to street improvements.

He also was given air conditioners and appliances, allowing his family to prosper.

Hammoodi rattled off the units he worked with from the Army, Air Force and National Guard.

Behind the counter of his restaurant hangs a large American flag, with well-wishes from American soldiers written in black marker.

At least one small flag is part of the centerpiece for each table, and Hammoodi speaks proudly of his association with American soldiers.

The work did not come without risk, however. In some photos he keeps, Hammoodi is not smiling.

Warnings

Wearing a crisp white button-down shirt, Hammoodi comes across as a dapper man, with a matter-of-fact way of speaking.

“Don’t believe, you test yourself,” he told one woman, firmly but not unkindly, after she mentioned a dish that had been recommended to her.

While his English isn’t perfect, he spoke freely about his years in Iraq, even a 2005 extortion attempt that led him to fly his family to Jordan.

They stayed even as he returned to Iraq. By 2007, he was working with military contractor General Dynamics.

Violence came from different groups, and he said he was shot at occasionally while doing road work.

The constant fear, however, was to be recognized by some of the violent militia groups as working with the Americans.

Hammoodi said he took precautions from the beginning of his work with Americans. He kept his old airport identification badge in hopes that, if stopped by militia fighters, he could disavow his American employment.

When working with the military, he accepted an escort — but only in the heavily militarized areas. In civilian neighborhoods, Hammoodi said he was unwilling to risk being spotted bringing an American to his doorstep.

Much of the work he did at night, when only military vehicles were bold enough to take to the streets.

After the extortion attempt, he said he took even more precautions, dressing differently on different days, for example.

Then, one day, after leaving his sister’s home at sunset, an older car swerved in front of him and stopped. Another car did the same behind him.

There were four men in each, armed with Russian assault rifles. He was trapped.

Help

Hammoodi spoke slowly when describing the encounter.

“The took me,” he said. He was not blindfolded, so he feared the worst. If he was able to see, he reasoned, he could identify the men — which meant they likely planned to kill him.

He was taken to a house not far from his home.

“They told me, ‘Where is your gun?’” recalled Hammoodi. He denied owning a weapon, understanding that admitting he had a gun would lead to assumptions about where and why he had one.

He identified the group as Jaish al Mahdi, a Shiite group heavily involved in the Iraq insurgency against American forces. They asked for money, but Hammoodi tried to convince them that he was just an airport worker who was not employed by Americans.

On the hardwood floor of his restaurant, Hammoodi briefly sat down, putting his hands behind his back to explain how he was bound while being held at gunpoint.

His captors blindfolded him, he said, then struck him in the face with some sort of hard metal object. There were threats involving a drill, a common torture instrument. He felt a gun pressed against his head, then inside his mouth.

At one point, he begged that, if killed, his body be shipped to his family, by this time now living in Egypt. Now, there were nine children, with the recent birth of twin girls.

The men said he needed to give them the phone number of someone who could verify his story. After one call was made to a friend who did not answer, Hammoodi offered the number of a Shiite neighbor, part of the same Muslim sect that Hammoodi said his kidnappers also belonged to.

As neighbors the two men had been friendly, Hammoodi said, though Iraq has been plagued by sectarian violence.

“He said, ‘I know him, he is good’” and not working with Americans, recalled Hammoodi. Hammoodi thinks the neighbor did know he had worked with Americans. After a flurry of phone calls made by the neighbor to people of influence in the Shiite community, Hammoodi was released that same night.

This time, there would be no coming back. Within two days, he left for Egypt, then America, where he’s been less than a year (The family moved from Denver to Abilene after the marriage of another daughter to an Iraqi who settled in Abilene.

In his folder of keepsakes are hospital photos, taken about two weeks after the beating. They show him with battered right eye and swollen left jaw, where a scar remains.

Hammoodi’s eyes grew red and he sat silently after telling of his ordeal.

“The country who wants to kill you is not your country,” he said later, when asked about returning.

Iraq is no longer Hammoodi’s home. He hopes to make it in Abilene.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Pricey Polish



I was browsing a little bit on my lunch break at H-E-B. I stopped and looked at the nail polish. I found a great color by OPI. It's called Mad as a Hatter. It's from the new Alice in Wonderland collection. I even tried it on my thumb. I was sold on the item UNTIL I made a shocking discovery! The small bottle of polish was selling for $7.99 a bottle! It was a .5 ounce bottle, which is a regular size, but still! You ready for the Whopper? That makes that nail polish $15.98 an ounce. I let them keep their Mad as a Hatter.

The only problem is that I keep noticing it on my thumb and I really like it. I'll keep you updated on if I cave in and buy it.

Monday, February 01, 2010

What we're up to...

It’s 7:34 in the evening. The kids have done their home work. Dinner has been eaten. We had fish, green beans and corn. Then I made a chocolaty dessert which hasn’t been eaten yet. Well, not eaten by everyone yet. Randy and I may or may not have already had our fair share while it’s been cooling.

Here’s what we’re doing now.

The girls are in the shower. They’ve actually been in there for a long time. They’re screaming and making up songs. They left the door open so I can hear them being really silly. Randy was about to get on to them so they would hurry and get out, but we both decided that they really aren’t doing anything wrong. They’re just being silly sisters. Eventually they will come out and get their pj’s on and then badger us for their dessert.

Spencer is sick. When I picked him up from school today he was in tears by the time we got to the car. He has a temp of 100. He’s been laying down in my bed all afternoon. He hardly ever gets sick, but when he does he likes to have sympathy. Randy and I sang to him and Randy prayed over him. He’s using my pillow right now. I don’t really like sharing my pillow, but who could deny the little redhead a pillow?

Joey is in his room messing around on his computer. He’s really been into graphic design. He’s been making the coolest things. Pretty soon he’s going to have to start practicing his tuba. Bum bum Bum bum Bum bum Bum.

Randy’s working on paperwork for his business. Also, he’s got Miles sitting beside him in the crook of his arm. That’s their evening position. Miles loves sitting there. Those two are quite the pair. They’re snuggle buddies for sure.

And me…Well, besides writing this I’m checking My Ebay repeatedly. I’m selling a few high dollar items so I keep checking if anyone else is bidding on them. I’ve really enjoyed my new Ebay business. The money I make is mine. It’s my fun money. That excites me. I’ve been a regular at the post office lately. Today I mailed off five things. I mailed things to: Pennsylvania, New York, Ohio, Nebraska and California.

And that’s what the Wilson’s are doing right now.


This is a picture of me, Jocie & Melody from last week when it was Jocie's birthday. We were going out for a Girl's Day Out.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

BOTOX



How does a parent get to the point that she not only signs a document giving permission to inject her child with botulism, but is prepared to beg for it to happen if someone tries to prevent it?

How does that happen?

I would never knowingly and willingly allow my children to eat something I know will be poisonous to their bodies. I try hard in the kitchen to protect them from such things as I cook in my own kitchen.

And yet…do something for me for a second.

Sit up. Lift up your shoulders almost to your ears. Now keep them high and rotate your shoulders forward so your back is nice and round. Great. Now keep them there for 2 whole minutes.

I’ll wait for you.

Perfect! No! Don’t drop them. Keep them up. Yeah, keep them there for…hmmm…how about for one year. How about for 4 years?

What? You don’t want to do that? No, I guess you wouldn’t want to do that. Neither does Miles. That’s how a parent agrees and is willing to beg for their child to be injected all over their body with botulism in hopes that their child will be able to have a neck and relax their shoulders.

I like how Lisa Girion of the Los Angeles Times explains what Botox does for kids with cerebral palsy. She wrote, “Botox, best known as a face-lift-in-a-syringe, can relax contorted muscles and sometimes help young patients walk without surgeries.” Now in Miles’ case he’s still had to have surgeries for his contorted muscles. Also, instead of doing it so he can walk, we’re just trying to keep those shoulders away from his ears so he doesn’t pull them out of socket like he did his hip.

Thursday I drove to Ft. Worth for his Botox injections. He hasn’t had them in over a year because he had surgery to have a Baclofen Pump placed in his body. The pump has a catheter going into his spine which pumps medicine throughout his body to help with his tight muscles. The pump works great for his lower half of his body. The lower half used to be the worst half, but now it’s in great shape since the pump. I’m very grateful for it, but it doesn’t work for his whole body.

After about a year of his upper half getting worse and worse I had the bright idea of asking the doctor if we could still continue with the Botox injections even though he has a pump. The doctor said yes. I thought it was an either/or thing. I thought we were done with Botox when he got the pump. I was wrong.

Thursday when the doctor saw Miles he injected the top half of Miles’ body like it was the oil can for the Tin Man. He got about 5 injections on each arm. He got injections on his elbows, hands, pecks, back and around his neck.

It starts working in about 3 days. It peaks in 3 weeks, and last for 3 months. Today was the 3rd day. When I went to get Miles out of bed this morning he was laying in bed with his arm straight up in the air. His arms have been locked down for about a year now. All day he’s been moving his arm and it freaks me out a little because I’m not used to him moving like that.

Miles has received Botox several times in the last few years. This last time I had to sign a new form that explained that the FDA is not sure that Botox really works when used to treat children with Cerebral Palsy and Dystonia. I would like to invite the FDA to come hang out for awhile and watch Miles with and without the Botox to see if it works well or not.

Or maybe they would like to sit with their shoulders high and rotated for about a year. No, I don’t think they would like to do that.

Seeing Miles with his arms up and moving today…that’s how a parent can agree to let their child be injected with botulism.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Melody's List

Melody made me a grocery list this weekend. It's so cute. She spelled the words the way they sound. A couple of the spellings are so cute. She spelled waffles "WOFLSZ." She added weiner dogs and spelled it "WEN A DOGS" She even added Beer to the list and spelled it "BER." I think my favorite was when she put Snacks for Kids and spelled it "DEZZERTS FOR CIEDS."

Cute Cute Cute.

If you click on the picture you can see the detail better.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

MY Top 10

Today I was walking around Target with Miles and I found something I could have spent a fortune on! I came upon the Christmas Movie Section. I love Christmas Movies!!! I also LOVE Christmas music. Randy doesn't like either one of those! Anyway, I didn't buy anything. I just decided to share my Top 10 with you.


MY #1. I love this movie! National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. My favorite part of this movie is...well, ALL of it! Clark makes me laugh at everything he does!!!


MY #2. A Christmas Story. My favorite part is when Ralphie freezes up when he sees Santa but then stops himself from going down the slide to tell Santa that he wants a Red Rider BeBe gun then Santa tells him that he would shoot his eye out. I crack up every time Santa pushes him down the slide with his boot.


MY #3. ELF. I've watched this movie so many times. It just doesn't get old. It doesn't have to be Christmas time to watch this movie! There's too many favorite parts to list on this movie, but I like the "Something Special" he gives to his Dad.


MY #4. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. This movie reminds me of my Grandma Jody. I remember watching it on TV while I laid on her living room floor. I never wanted it to end. Also, I remember that when the Grinch's heart was too small I thought that must be what my Grandpa's problem was. hehehe


MY #5. Rudolph. Again, this reminds me of my Grandma Jody. She loved this movie, and she loved to buy us the figurines from this movie. Even the last couple of years she bought my brother and I things from the movie. As a kid I was scared of Bumbles. I was glad he got his tooth fixed.


MY #6. Mickey's Once Upon A Christmas. Yep, you guessed it. It reminds me of my Grandma Jody. Plus I love old Mickey Mouse stuff. It reminds me of being a kid. I still rent Mickey Mouse & Donald Duck at the library to watch with and without the kids. It just makes me happy.


MY #7. The Santa Clause 2. Okay, this is MY list and I can like this movie if I want to. 2 years ago the kids were sick and they had to stay home from school. It wasn't anywhere near Christmas time, but I went to Hollywood video and had the crazy idea of renting a bunch of Christmas movies for them to watch. We laid around all day cracking up over Christmas movies. This one was our favorite of the day and so it became special to me.


MY #8. A Charlie Brown Christmas. Yes, it reminds me of my Grandma. Plus, how can you talk about Christmas movies and not bring it up? It's a classic for anyone my age. I loved the Christmas tree he picked out. It was sweet.


MY #9. Frosty the Snowman. Classic. I remember thinking the same thing would happen to me when I made a snowman. Of course it's hard to make a real snowman in West Texas, but I remember not being disappointed that the snowman didn't come to life. I felt like it was alive it just couldn't talk to me. Anyway, it's a cute show.


MY #10 It's a Wonderful Life. I haven't seen it in so long, but I loved it even as a kid.



HONORABLE MENTION: Fred Clause. It only came out last year so it hasn't made my Top 10 yet, but as a family we really liked it. I personally think Vince Vaughn is SOOOO funny, but I don't like to watch many things he's in so it was nice to get to watch him in a kids movie. Funny Stuff.


So, there you have it. What's your favorite Christmas movie? Is there something I forgot? Are you having a hard time believing that my list would have The Santa Clause 2 movie before It's a Wonderful Life? Are you a Christmas movie hater like Randy? Let me know what you think.

Monday, November 16, 2009

With God All Things Are Possible...Even Joy.


Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

An ongoing trial has come to my life. For the last five years I have taken care of my son who has cerebral palsy, dystonia, cortical vision impairment, chronic hypothermia and brain damage. For a long time to consider my trial pure joy seemed unattainable. Yet, as my faith has continued to be tested I’ve felt the stretching and growth of perseverance developing in me.
There have been many times in the last five years that I would have traded “maturity, completeness & without lack” in a heartbeat. I’ve cried out to God several times for me to be able to see my son healed even if it meant that I didn’t finish the race I’ve been given to run. In the past I’ve been willing to give up my birth right for a bowl of soup. I’ve believed the lie that if Miles were healed that everything else in my life would be simpler and without heartache.
I’m not sure when it happened, but those are not things I feel anymore. At this time in my life I would not trade Miles’ healing for Perseverance’s lasting work. I would not want Miles’ healing out of God’s will and timing. I now refuse to give up my birth right for today’s fleeting pleasure. I now am sober to the fact that with this life comes trials and tribulations even when we’re right in the middle of God’s will.
Today I will not wrestle with God about the Why’s and the When’s. Instead when I take care of Miles I will consider it pure joy that my perseverance is well on it’s way to being made mature, complete and lacking in nothing.
Today, and for as long as it takes I will live in this tension where my son has brain damage and yet my God is a healer. I will consider this trial a joy. I will work as unto the Lord. I will continue to love Miles in a manor that honors God. As I go about the medical routine I will worship God by serving Miles. I will guard my heart from hopelessness. I will believe the best for Miles and continue to trust God with the desires of my heart.
Joy is not unattainable.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Hope. Process. Sum

I just left church.

Pastor Jimmy talked about Hope, The Process and the Sum at the End.

I feel like the hardened scab on my heart has been picked at.

He was talking about things we go through and how we focus on the Sum or the outcome that we’re wanting, but how there’s a process to everything. Also, he of course talked about how a hope deferred makes the heart sick. Basically, he was reading my mail.

He stirred up emotions in me that I haven’t felt in a while. He was talking about Hope in a different way than our culture views it. Today the word Hope is more like the word Wish. I Hope for something/I Wish for something. He was saying that the word Hope in the Bible is the stuff Faith is made out of it. It’s more like Expect.

He talked about how sometimes when our Hope/Expect is delayed over a long period of time that it can feel frustrating. Yeah, I agree.

He told a personal story of how him and his wife had been married for a long time when they decided that they wanted to have a child of their own. His wife couldn’t have babies anymore so they began praying for a way to adopt a baby. He started ticking off the years: 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years and nothing. No baby. He even began working in a place with fosters kids and adoptions going on around him and still no baby. 5 years and no baby.

As he started ticking off the years I felt my heart breaking. The foundations of my “doing okay walls” began to shake in it’s weak foundation. I had a desire to scream out that I knew what he was talking about.

Year six came around for him and he spoke about being able to be in the room when his daughter that he was going to adopt was being born. It was so beautiful. They had waited six years for her and today she turned 9 years old.

Hope. Process. Sum.

Today was the first day of the series he’s starting about Exodus and the “process.” I think he said it’s the first of the next five weeks. I guess I have a choice of holding my hand over the wound of my heart and just go through the motions of church for the next five weeks or I can allow Hope to be restored again in the area of Miles’ healing.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Aw,

Dearest Quiet,
Oh, how I’ve missed you. Thank you for returning to me. We’ve haven’t been together for so long. Things have been so busy. The kids have been taking turns being sick. When they’re home you just don’t come around. This morning as I dropped off the last kid at school I felt a little giddy about our date. I sure wasn’t disappointed this morning when we finally got together. You treated me just right. I’m glad you didn’t bring me flowers and chocolate. I could buy that stuff for myself anytime. I really enjoyed your gifts of peace and the ability to have a clear thought. That was very kind of you.
Our time is about to be over, but I’m hoping that we can get together again very soon!
Blessings,
Brandi

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Got any ideas?

Well, here’s the brutal truth.

As of today I weigh more than I ever have before.

I weigh more than I did on the way to the hospital to deliver any of my babies.

My youngest “baby” is now five years old.

That is shocking information to process. Maybe not too hard for you to process because let’s face it…you can tell. It’s just hard for me to process because I’m the one that has to do something about it,

I feel totally overwhelmed. I don’t know where to begin. I’m scared of failing for the 1000th time.

Got any ideas on how to lose weight?

Here’s some things that I’ve been thinking I need:

• A plan that WILL work!
• And I mean fast!
• Something that I can do for the rest of my life.
• It needs to be easy. You know…not use up too much brain power.
• If possible I would still like to eat what I want. ☺
• I would like to be able to go to restaurants and still be able to stick to the diet.
• I would like for everyone I know to be on the same plan as me so we could encourage each other to stick to the plan.
• I don’t want to take medicine that makes me feel crazy.
• I also need a good plan for exercising that I can do at the house.
• I would like to see instant results.
• I would like all this to be cheap or free.


Okay, so I know one or two of these isn’t going to work out for me. If so...I would already be skinny.

Do you have any ideas on what I could do to get started. And don’t say exercise and eat healthy. I’ve been ignoring that all my life.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Longing

I watched two precious kids for a friend of mine today. They’re ages 1 and 2. I watched and marveled at all they could do. When my babies were young of course I enjoyed and bragged about their milestones. I was excited for the day but always in a hurry for the next one to come. I was always looking forward to what came next. I don’t think I took for granted what they could do for the day but I didn’t realize what a miracle each milestone really is.

In less than a week Miles will turn five years old.
There are so many many milestones that I’ve never seen him do.
I’ve watched and waited for five years for things that have never arrived.
I’ve longed and prayed for that special word “mama” to pass through his lips but it’s never made it through.
I’ve desired to see him sit and play on the floor with toys like I saw those two kids do today.

Intentional eye contact, reaching out for me, sitting up, crawling, walking, throwing a fit, potty training, climbing into bed with me, holding a toy, sneaking into the pots and pans, chasing his brothers and sisters, wrestling with his Poppa, feeding himself, fighting bedtime…hugging me. Those things have never come.

Even so my heart longs for them.

I want to trade tube feeds and medicine cocktails in the morning & evening for all those things. I want to trade Dr. appointments and breathing treatments for those precious milestones. I want to trade medical supplies and handicap accessibility for them.

God made our bodies so miraculously. He made them work in such an amazing way. Our brains are probably the most intricate things on the planet. It’s amazing what you can’t do if yours doesn’t work.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Joey's English Paper

Joey wrote a small paper for English and I thought it was cute. Here it is:



Joey Wilson

Lesson Learned

My little brother Spencer had received his first pocketknife. It was red and had two blades. He was so excited until he was almost was shocked. The same day he got his knife he put the knife right in front of the outlet. I saw him so I kicked him out of the way. I ran to tell my parents and explained to them what happened. They said that he was not allowed to have a pocketknife any longer. So they took it away from him. Since then he has always blamed me for not being able to own a pocketknife. I tell him that it’s not my fault, but he refuses to believe it’s his fault. Anyway, I know it’s not my fault. The lesson I learned is that even though you can try to help someone it doesn’t mean they will appreciate the help.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Hobby Blobby (that's what Randy calls it)



I don't know that I LOVE SCRAPBOOKING but I do enjoy it.

I would like to "enjoy" it more often.

It seems like there's never enough time to do it. Everyone once in awhile I will get together with Rachel and crank out a few pages, but that's the extent of my scrapbooking.

If I had unlimited time, resources and instant digital photos mailed to me THEN I would be sure to scrapbook to my heart's content.

What hobby do you love but never seem to find enough time for?

Friday, September 04, 2009

Wow! Really?

I had to go over to Hendrick Medical Supply yesterday to exchange some syringes that were wrong AGAIN! I didn’t mind too much. I was having a good attitude about it, but when the woman at the front desk saw me and what I was there for AGAIN she just cringed. I think she’s as amazed at their incompetence as I am sometimes.

Anyway, I handed her the big bag of syringes and she said (referring to the person that got the wrong syringes), “They’re so retarded.”

To which I replied excitedly, “Oh, do you hire retarded people here because my son is retarded and he will need a job someday.”

That’s when she crapped her pants.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

The Search

Looking for a church home.
Church shopping.
Hunting for a new church,
Looking for the place God wants us to be.
Looking for a place to serve.
Searching for a place to plug in.
Finding a new body of believers.

However you want to say it…we still don’t know where we’re going to church.

We’ve tried a few places. Before we began the adventure Randy and I both separately thought that we should try two places: South Side Baptist and Morning Star Community Church. From that it would seem that one of two places would be our new church home, but we still don’t know.

We’ve been to South Side 3 times. Morning Star twice and last week we went to The Mission. So, that makes 6 weeks since we haven’t had a church family. After 10 years at the same church that’s a pretty shocking life style change.

So, we’ve been going to these churches and almost as soon as we hit the door the question is asked, “So what did you think?” Of course we’ve been praying about it, and we don’t want to go where we “think” is good. We clearly want God’s direction in this decision but it’s a totally human thing to dissect and discuss such matters.

We’ve been going to lunch after church which is funny because we didn’t do that when we went to Clyde. We used to drive through a place or pick up lunch and take it home but we hardly ever went to a restaurant after church. I think it’s because it already took so long to get ready, drive out there, be at church, chat forever and then drive home that by the time we hit town we just wanted to get home, peel off our clothes and take a nap.

In these last six weeks we’ve been doing something new. When we get to the car I get out a piece of paper and ask everyone where they want to go. One by one they give me their vote and I write it on a slip of paper. When that’s done one person gets to draw and whatever place it says on the paper is where we get to go. Even if it’s CiCi’s and I hate that place we still go. Don’t mind me. I’m probably just bitter because I still haven’t won yet.

So, not only is church different, but Sunday lunch is different, we’re going to different places so our Sundays are totally different, and to top it all off Randy has decided that he likes shopping after lunch. Crazy! So, we go hang out at a store until we’re ready to go home. It’s all been very delightful.

During this time between walking outside of the church we tried and before we go home from shopping we discuss “what we think” about the church we went to.

Here’s the break down.



















Oh, you didn’t think I’d give you all the juicy details today did you?

No way! I’ve gotta keep you comin’ back for more!

Soon I’ll write about our adventures of Charismania to Conservative Baptist.



In the mean time. Please keep praying for us!

Monday, August 31, 2009

My attempt at not being a sell out...

I’ve been contemplating the death of blogging. It doesn’t seem right that Facebook and Twitter could be a sustainable trade for blogging.
A friend of mine recently said, “Facebook killed the radio star.” While I don’t exactly understand it, I whole heartily agree.
How is that a one liner, written sarcastically in the third person can replace an authentic peek into someone’s life and mind?

How can BRANDI WILSON TOOK HER SON SPENCER TO THE ER LAST NIGHT FOR 6 STITCHES ON HIS FOOT.

Be a replacement for:
Four of the kids spent the night with Mom the other night. It was a much needed break for me. Summer had chewed me up that week and spit me out. I was ready for a relaxing evening doing anything but answering a millions questions and listening to anything besides repetitive video game music. I dropped off the kids at Mom’s and was so pleased that she had great plans for the kids. It was their last summer hurrah so she had the girls bring their play dishes because they were going to have a tea party. Mom had mini cheesecakes thawing. My nephews were already there and dying for my boys to get there. My boys had brought their video games and Mom had already made up a “Boys Room” where they could play video games and be as loud as they want. She was preparing to make hamburgers and asked what Randy and I were doing for dinner to which I replied, “Not eating here!” No offense to her hamburgers but I was not interested in being around the kid’s excited energy when I had all the wonderful silence waiting for me at home.
So I left and I was excited for the kid’s and their fun and myself with my nothingness.
I went home and returned to a book I had begun reading about a sarcastic post-Jehovah’s witness that grew up never being able to buy things at garage sales because her “fellowship” believed that demons attached themselves to things at garage sales. The book was hilarious and a bit spooky because of all the demon talk so I was already a little jumpy when the phone rang.
It was my Mom saying, “You’ve got to come and get Spencer and take him to the hospital. He’s hurt. I’m sure he needs stitches.” Then she HUNG UP. No, I’m not kidding. That was the call. I didn’t know what was wrong. I knew she couldn’t take him because she didn’t have enough seats in her car. I also knew it was not ambulance worthy, but still there’s a big gap between taking one to the hospital and ambulance. Well, I called my mother in law (she lives two doors down) and basically said that same thing to her except instead of “you have to take Spencer to the hospital” I asked if she would take care of Miles for me. After she said yes I left the house and didn’t wait for her to get here.
On my way to my Mom’s I tried to get a hold of Randy but his phone was dead. As I was driving I passed him on Butternut so he ended up following me over to Mom’s house.
When we got there our tough boy wasn’t crying. He had several kids hovering over him and his leg was resting in Mom’s lap. She had a white dishrag wrapped over his foot. When we got closer she removed the rag and the top of his foot was sliced open and stretched apart. It was cut through to the fat.
All the kids began to tell me the whole story. I could see that Jocie had been crying. She’s so sensitive to other people’s pain. I could also see that Spencer had been crying. His face was swollen and splotchy. Randy picked up his big boy and carried him to the truck.
The boys had been playing out side while Mom was cooking hamburgers on the grill and she was yelling at them to get their shoes on. The punch line of the whole story is that Spencer was going inside to get his shoes on when he sliced his foot open on Grammy’s door.
So, we take him to the ER because it’s after hours at his pediatrician’s office. I figure my glorious evening of nothingness is long gone because it’s being traded for hours of waiting in the ER. I was pleasantly wrong. We were out of there in an hour with fantastic service and a $5 co-pay for his insurance which will run out today.
We dropped him back off at Mom’s with 6 stitches and a cheering welcome from all the other kids. Randy and I ended up eating hamburgers with all the kids and Mom and still had silence to go back home to.


BRANDI WILSON HAS HOPEFULLY PROVED HER POINT.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

It's almost here!

Just took the kids to orientation at their school so they could take their supplies, meet their teacher, check out their classroom and so I could fill out a ton of paperwork. I love Cornerstone so much! I’m very thankful they get to go there. God has been faithful to provide money to send them there.
I would love to work there full time but I’m just not able to do that with Miles at this time. I am going to work up there one day a week though. Miles is going to go with me. I’m excited about that. I will mainly be helping behind the scenes for the Kindergarten class. I’ll be writing all their names on papers, getting work together for the following week, cutting stuff out, doing a lot of prep work, grading papers…that kind of stuff. When I finish with that I’ll be doing help for 1st grade and then some office stuff. I’m excited about all this. It’s my favorite kind of work! Plus I’ll be substituting when they need me. I’ve already got a couple of days next month that I’ll be subbing for Kindergarten.

I’m so excited about school starting (and not because the kids will be gone.) I’m excited because it’s something new. I’m ready for the new school year!!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Jocie's mint

Jocie was eating a mint but she kept taking it in and out of her mouth. I told her that she needed to either keep it in her mouth or throw it away. She held out the mint and said, "It tastes like an unrefreshing Pepsi that's been sitting outside on a hot day like today!!"

Then she popped it in her mouth and said, "Oh, it's better now."

That girl cracks me up.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Needed To Blog Something

We’re still looking for a church. We’ve now visited South Side twice and Morning Star once. Randy and I really like South Side. Joey really likes Morning Star. Jocie wants to try New Hope. Melody likes South Side because her friends go there & she likes Morning Star because she can get prizes. Spencer would rather sleep in on Sundays than to go to church. So, we’re still undecided. Randy and I previously agreed that we would continue to alternate until we knew where we’re supposed to go. So, that’s what we’re doing. It’s been an exciting change. The transition couldn’t have gone smoother. I’m so thankful for the way it all went down. I’m so thankful that Brandon released us the way he did.

School is about to start. One week and three days. I’ve enjoyed our summer together. It’s gone by so fast. We’ve been staying up until 1 in the morning and sleeping in until 10. I’m going to miss that. I love that kind of sleeping schedule. Spencer, Jocie and Melody are returning to Cornerstone this year. I’m happy about that. I love that school. Joey is going to public middle school at Madison. Today I took him to orientation and the staff seemed really nice and organized. I think it made me feel a little better. I’ve had a hard time adjusting to the fact that he’s going there. He’s going from knowing every single person in his school to not knowing one person. Today the counselor told me that there will be 280 sixth graders there this year! I’ve decided to trust the Lord in this matter and believe that he will protect Joey and continue to show him favor.

Miles will be staying home again this year. My flesh tries to freak out every once in awhile and scare me about Miles’ unknown future, but I have combating that with the fact that for today, this year, I enjoy taking care of all his needs and that it’s a blessing to be able to stay at home and take care of him. He could go to school but I don’t feel good about that yet and I’m thankful that I’m able to stay home with him. I never knew I would enjoy doing all the medical things I do for him. We could definitely have a full time nurse for him, but I’m glad we don’t.

Randy’s business has been doing well. This year is already so much better than last year! He’s staying so busy that I usually don’t know where he’s working on any given day. He’s got a website now. It’s straightpathhomes.com You should check it out. He has three guys working for him. He’s flipping a house by ours, doing a huge addition to one home and several smaller jobs all at the same time. The add on that he’s doing is a 1500 square foot addition to a 1300 square foot house.

Me…I feel like I’ve been on hold all summer. I haven’t done any writing which isn’t good. There hasn’t seem to be a ton of time to write but even more than that I don’t think I’ve been able to hear myself think this summer. The kids talk to me all day long and there’s always something to do. I’m not complaining about that. It’s just a fact. Writing requires thinking and thinking hasn’t been a luxury lately. I’m excited to have some quiet in the house when the kids go back to school and focus on getting some writing done. It’s important.

I’m looking forward to the quiet, the freedom to be able to go where ever I want to doing the day, the schedule of a school routine, going to lunch with friends while the kids are in school, drinking coffee and writing at the kitchen table and watching God continue being so extravagantly faithful to us.

What are you looking forward to?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Big News for Us.

Big News for Us.

Wow. I can hardly believe it myself, but to rip it off like a band-aid I will just say it. Our family is going to be trying other churches. We’ve been going to Trinity/Kingdom Life Fellowship for over 10 years now. That’s amazing to me! It’s the only church our kids have known. That’s probably why two of them cried when we told them what we’re going to do. (Joey & Jocie)

Here’s the great thing: We’re not offended. We’re not upset with anything or anyone. We’re not disgruntle in any way.

We just feel like we’re suppose to go somewhere else. We don’t know if the change is because our family needs to be somewhere else or if somewhere else needs our family.

This is not an overnight decision by far! This is a year long process with a 6 month dragging of feet on my part and a month of absolute working of the Lord in a beautiful way! He has made his plan known and worked behind the scenes to make this as smooth of a transition as possible.

Today we were released by Brandon, our pastor to go and try new places. He totally understands why we’re leaving and the fact that we’re not upset in any way. He had the best attitude today and made us love and respect him even more for how mature he handled the situation. He told us to go and do what we’re supposed to do and if down the road we haven’t found what we’re looking for and we want to come back to KLF then we’re more than welcome and we’ll start off even better than we are now.

I feel so grateful that everything is going so smoothly. I love that we can leave in a way that’s not awkward. I can run into anyone at KLF and not be embarrassed for going another place. I love that relationships don’t have to end. I know they will change, but they won’t end.

Randy and I have talked a lot about this change and what our plans are. Separately we both had the same two churches that we wanted to try out. When we told each other our choices we were shocked to find out they were the same two churches. We want to try Morning Star and get this…South Side Baptist. I have NO idea where the South Side Baptist church came into play. I think that’s so interesting! Maybe God’s up to something silly! ☺ I’m not sure where we will try this coming Sunday but I’ll keep you posted.
There’s no way to begin to explain how much the people of Kingdom Life Fellowship means to Randy and I. We love the people there. We have real and honest relationships with most of the people. I have loved doing life with them and I’m so thankful that for several people that will continue even though we’re not going to be going to the same church. I only have wonderful and tender things to say about that church body. They’ve loved, served, sacrificed, prayed for, cried for and laughed with our family.

I will miss worshipping our God together.

Good news is that we will get to do that for all eternity together!

Please pray that God will put us right where he wants us and we will have a place to serve Him.

UNITED

Here's some cute United photos. I love that store. I don't go there very often because their prices are higher, but it's so refreshing to shop there every once in awhile. Everything is so fresh and clean. The kids enjoy it too.









Tuesday, July 14, 2009

What do ya think?

I was helping Randy with his website and he needed a good paragraph for the home page explaining what he can do. How does this sound?



Do you need a home?

I can build one for you.

I have skills.

Oh, you don’t need a home, but your kitchen floor looks like crap?

I can fix that too.

What? You’re in laws are moving in?

I can make that situation a whole lot smoother with a nice add on where your in laws can’t hear you screwing their daughter.

Call me.

I’ll hook you up!


Monday, July 06, 2009

Sharon's Testimony

Randy’s Mom Shirley was looking through some of her things and she found a letter that her daughter Sharon had written back in 1986. Sharon was the mother of Amanda who had cerebral palsy like Miles. I thought you might like to hear the letter. It’s very encouraging.

Mom,
I’m writing you this letter because I’m wide awake & so happy I don’t know what to do!
Tonight, like any other night in my life, I lay awake thinking, & for the first time ever I realized something. Our God is real!!! Something else too. He is powerful beyond belief!
For 2 months I prayed every night & day, saying, “Please God, take away everything I’ve ever had or am going to get & this Christmas, please take away Amanda’s seizures forever!” I said, “I know you can” but boy did I doubt & on Christmas day, Amanda had worse seizures & crying fits than she’s ever had & on Christmas night I’m ashamed to say that I bawled for hours saying, “Why should I pray to or believe or serve a God who can’t even heal my daughter?” And you know Mom, this almighty, powerful God could have struck me dead right then but He said, “Sharon, all you have to do it believe. Nothing you can do will heal her.”
The next morning I woke up with a real peaceful feeling & I know you know…but HE DID IT! He took them away!
What happened tonight is that he knocked me down with the realization that this ‘God” the true God, only had to speak & it was real. Please praise Him for this! And not only for this because I know that was only the beginning! Praise Him for her eyes, ect. for He deserves it.
I have never felt so awed!! I have to serve Him, for He is good!
I love you,
Sharon

Amanda never did have a seizure again. She went from having several painful seizures a day to having zero without medication. As a young boy Randy (remember that his brothers and sisters were a lot older than him) prayed and believed with Sharon those two months that Amanda would not have any more seizures after Christmas. He got to see God do a miracle.

That letter was encouraging to me, and I hope it was to you.