Thursday, July 27, 2006
Yesterday he had his Botox injections and everything went just fine. I was pleased. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. The nurse gave Miles some pain medication when we first got there. After it was working Dr. Marks took Randy and I to another room. He asked which one of us was going to hold him down and I assured him that would be Randy. He laughed and said that Dad's weren't very good at the job. He was telling me that he hears some pretty strange excuses from Dad's that don't want to be in the room. He said that the funniest one was a few years back when a couple was in there and right before the doctor got started he said in a panicked voice, "I just remembered that I have to call my Mom". Dr. Marks said that he rushed out of the room, and his wife looked up at Dr. Marks, shook her head and said, "His mother has been dead for 20 years". That man waited in his truck and has never stepped foot in the office again.
I'm sure this won't be a surprise to you but Randy did just fine. He held Miles in his lap with his head facing the floor. Dr. Marks put some kind of speaker tape on Miles legs so he could listen on a computer for when he hit the muscle. He got Miles 4 injections. Two were on his upper legs and 2 were in his calves. Miles cried but not very hard. He cried harder yesterday morning when he wanted me to hold him than he did while getting the shots. Dr. Marks said that the pain medication takes the fight out of him.
Anyway, Miles is doing just fine. We should be able to tell a difference in about 3 days. His legs should be loosened so he can be casted next week after surgery.
So, it's the count down until cast day...
My husband’s sister had a daughter with cerebral palsy. She lived to be 17, but she only had the brain of a 3 month old. I would watch all that Sharon (My Sister in Law) had to do with her daughter Amanda. I watched her carry around her large 70 pound body from room to room. I watched Sharon feed her with a tube through her stomach. I watched her stay at home all the time because it was hard to take Amanda places. I vividly remember several times thinking to myself and saying aloud, “I could never do that”. I used to think that only parents that qualified as Saints could take care of handicapped children. Alas, having one of my own I can assure you that Sainthood is not a requirement.
You know, watching my Sister-in-Law I really did think that I couldn’t do what she did, but I can. There’s a lot of things we say that we can’t do, but we can. When you’re going through something hard you get a lot of comments like, “The Lord won’t give you more than you can handle.” These comments make you want to punch someone in the stomach, but it’s true. The Lord, the maker of the Universe, the maker of you knows what you were made for. The Holy Spirit, your Comforter is capable of helping you through anything.
When I first started realizing that my son Miles wasn’t growing developmentally the way he should I began to think about this vow I had made a long time ago while I watched Sharon. I changed my mind. I realized that I could do what she did. I can do what she did and more. I don’t allow myself to speak the words “I can’t” anymore because I know it’s not true. There’s a lot of things that “I don’t want to do”, but there’s nothing that I can’t do. (Yes, I know that the previous sentences has a triple negative in it, but that’s what the word can’t does to your life. It messes up the whole flow of things.)
Here’s a few “Can’ts” in my life that have been changed to I Can:
* I can’t take care of a handicap child—Yes I can, and I have peace in my heart.
* I can’t loose weight—Yes I can and I’m doing it.
* I can’t have 4 kids and go to school—Yes I can, and I made straight A’s.
* Randy can’t start his own business the day our third child is born—Yes he can and the Lord has been faithful to us by blessing Randy’s business.
* I can’t take care of a child that will be in a cast from his waist to his ankles for 6 to 8 weeks—Yes I can and the Lord will give me strength.
* I can’t have 5 children and be a Life Group leader—Yes I can and the Lord multiplies my time.
This is what the Lord says about you and me:
With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26)
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)
We are more than conquers. (Romans 8:37)
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)
Friday, July 21, 2006
"Here's where we run into a problem. For most of us, life feels like a movie we've arrived at forty-five minutes late.
Something important seems to be going on...Maybe. I mean, good things do happen, sometimes beautiful things. You meet someone, fall in love. You find that work that is yours alone to fulfill. But tragic things happen too. You fall out of love, or perhaps the other person falls out of love with you. Work begins to feel like a punishment. Everything starts to feel like an endless routine.
If there is meaning to this life, then why do our days seem so random? What is this drama we've been dropped into the middle of? If there is a God, what sort of story is he telling here? At some point we begin to wonder if Macbeth wasn't right after all: Is life a tale "told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing?"
No wonder we keep losing heart.
We find ourselves in the middle of a story that is sometimes wonderful, sometimes awful, often a confusing mixture of both and we haven't a clue how to make sense of it all. It's like we're holding in our hands some pages out of a torn book. These pages are the days of our lives. Fragments of a story. They seem important, or at least we long to know they are, but what does it all mean? If only we could find the book that contains the rest of the story.
Chesterton had it right when he said, "With every step of our lives we enter into the middle of some story which we are certain to misunderstand".
Walk into any large mall, museum, amusement park, university, or hospital and you will typically meet at once a very large map with the famous red star and the encouraging words YOU ARE HERE. These maps are offered to visitors as ways to orient themselves to their situation, get some perspective on things. This is the Big Picture. Hopefully you now know where to go. You have your bearings.
Oh, that we had something like this for our lives.
"This is the Story in which you have found yourself. Here is how it got started. Here is where it went wrong. Here is what will happen next. Now this-this is the role you've been given. If you want to fulfill your destiny, this is what you must do. These are the cues. And here is how things are going to turn out in the end".
We can discover the Story. Maybe not with perfect clarity, maybe not in the detail that you would like, but in greater clarity than most of us now have, and that would be worth the price of admission. I mean, to have some clarity would be gold right now.
Gold...Yes it would be.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
We saw Dr. Messer and he had x-rays taken of Miles' hips. We got to see the x-rays and his hip is out for sure. Spencer said, "Oh good...I've never got to see the inside of Miles".
Here's the plan that BOTH Dr. Marks & Dr. Messer think is best for Miles:
Next month Dr. Messer wants to cut Miles' abductor muscles (which is the inside thigh muscle) he wants to cut them and lengthen them and then put his hip back into socket, and work on the other hip to make sure it doesn't happen to that one. Then Miles will be put into a cast from the waist to his ankles with a bar in between his legs to keep his legs apart. They will leave a small hole for me to change his diaper. He will be in this cast for 6 to 8 weeks.
My comment over and over that day was this, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" They assured me that they were not kidding me. I asked Dr. Messer if this is something that we should do because it seemed extreme to me. He told that a lot of things they can do are questionable if they should do it or not, but he told me that no one would say this is questionable. He told me any doctor would agree that we should do this. He explained to me what he would have to do for a 4 or 5 year old with a dislocated hip and it's terrible. It involves cutting the bone, and twisting it...he also said that at 14 or 15 he wouldn't even do it and that the kid just has to be in pain. Anyway, he said that since Miles is so young that this is the time to do it. Since then I've talked to Miles' physical therapist and his pediatrician and they've all agreed on this plan.
I was totally freaking out yesterday but today I'm feeling better. It sounds crazy, but they are saying that by doing this it's Miles' chance to walk. It will align his legs and ankles so they will be straight. That's exciting.
Here's what's not exciting...MY BABY WILL BE IN A CAST FROM THE WAIST TO THE ANKLES FOR 6 TO 8 WEEKS!!!!! What in the world? I asked Dr. Marks how we would take Miles in the carseat and he said, "It will be a challenge". I will just say that this is not an answer. He also said that he wished they would install a hanger in the cast so we could just hang him up at night in the closet before bed. He was kidding of course but it sure seems like a strange joke.
We talked to Dr. Wiley yesterday about the carseat issue and he said that the hospital will help us out with things like that. He said that they will let us use a flat carseat that will lay down in the car and it has a strap with it. Also, JoBeth (his PT) said that parents usually cart their kids around in a wagon everywhere during this time.
So here's the deal: The surgery is scheduled for August 23. He will go on August 18 to see Dr. Marks to get Botox injections into his legs to loosed up his muscles so they can be stretched into the casting position. Dr. Marks will give Miles shots in his legs and ankles to give him some relief in his muscles tightness.
The decision to be made is if we are going to do this. This is not something I can figure out and make a decision. We just have to hear God and what he's wanting us to do. Please pray that we will KNOW what the Lord wants us to do, that Miles will not be in pain while he waits for his hip to be fixed, pray that the Lord heals him before all this has to take place & pray that I will not be upset about all of this.
I know the Lord is going to heal Miles. I just don't know how he plans to do it. If he wants to use this surgery to help Miles I am willing. If he doesn't want us to do this then we won't. I just need to know what HE wants us to do.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Here is a queer-type bird. A oscridge that does not fly but runs like a horse. Except he uses two legs which makes him a queer-type horse, too.
I have never seen any of these.
one of my favorites....By titling his poem "Leaves of Grass" Walt Witman let us know it is poetry that is coming. If the title says something impossible we can know it is poetry and get ready for it. AMEN
I am not sure who wrote The Devil's Disciple, but this afternoon I will be where I can find out.
I think the greatest need in books today is one to briefly review all of man's knowledge up to now so we can get on with learning new things.
Tides are interesting if you happen to be interested in them.
Pigs like to be clean. They try to do it by rolling in the mud, not being as smart as we are.
The difference between bones and skeletons are the same except we live ones have bones while the dead ones have skeletons.
DEPORT is to export without wanting to go. (That was for my friend erica)
X's are becoming close to extinct, being used mainly just for signing and kissing.
Although I am rather weak in biology, I am the best they is in English class.
I plan to be married one day. Longer than one day really. It is just that this is how it is usually said.
I have resolved this year not to fight my sister unless she fights me first or makes me mad or I feel like it.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Your part- (HOW OLD WAS IT?)
My phone was so old that it had a rotary dial! My phone was so old that the size of it made you wonder if I cut the cord off my house phone so I could pretend I had a cell phone!
Joey always wanted to know why my phone didn't have games on it like other people's cell phones. The only game my phone played was "I won't die".
For Mother's Day I told Randy that I wanted a new phone. I saw it coming that it wasn't going to work out so I talked him into buying some "Bling" for my phone to hold me over. We went to the mall and bought some white and pink rhinestones to glue on to make it look cuter. Well, Randy insisted on putting them on for me, and being the "more is better" man that he is he just knew that the dinky sticky glue that came on the rhinestones wasn't going to be enough so he bought some super glue to stick those babies on. All the shiny bling turned out to look like a hazy super glue mess. It looked like a Kindergarten craft gone bad. Here's the kicker...The phone was so huge that the package of "Bling" didn't have enough rhinestones to cover my phone so it looked like someone got tired of fighting with super glue and gave up on the whole thing. It was terrible. Even Joey thought the thing looked embarrassing.
So, my old "Patchy Bling" phone will stay at the job site where it will feel more comfortable. I think Randy's going to try to sandblast the "Bling"off.
About the new phone...Wow! Who knew you could program phone numbers into a cell phone? It's nice!
The only thing I cared about was that it was cute and small. (It is) It's light pink and it just came out yesterday.
The only thing that Randy cared about was if the ringer was going to be loud enough for me to hear it. It frustrates him when calls me and I don't hear the phone. Yesterday when we were looking at the phones Randy was messing with all the ringers to find out which one was the loudest. He had the salesman frantically trying to find the loudest phone which could be heard through my purse. I walked all the way past The Express to assure Randy that I could hear the phone across my house. Anyway, it all worked out. It's a cute little phone and it calls people. Sweet! CALL ME!