Sunday, April 29, 2007

All of your promises won't let go of me.

You may not be able to tell a difference in my typing today. This may just look like another ordinary post, but I assure you that it’s not. This is no ordinary writing or ordinary post. The very letters that you’re reading are typed on a promise given to me by the Lord. During a WOW meeting in January Becky asked two questions. She asked, “What is your promised land and how can I help get you there?” Those two questions have burned in me every since that night. I began to dream about what the Lord had planned for me from the very beginning.
On my way home from the meeting I felt like the Lord gave me a word. I pulled over to write it down because it felt so real. I felt like he told me that someone was going to give me a laptop…a nice one, and that I was to write an hour a day. I said okay and then I waited.
I thought it would happen soon. I guess waiting from January isn’t too long to wait. Believe me I’ve waited for things longer than that. I had thought once about just going out and buying one. We don’t use credit a whole lot, but one day Randy and I were laying down in bed and I mentioned to Randy that we could probably get an account at Best Buy and get one ourselves. Randy said, “Yeah, and I could go and have sex with your concubine and we could have a son that way.” I’m telling you…that was the best thing he could have said. In case you don’t know what I mean I’m talking about how God promised Abraham a son, but him and his wife decided that they figured out a way to help God along so Sarah offered up her concubine to Abraham so she could bear him a son. Well, that didn’t work out too well. It’s still not working out too well.
So I dropped it. When thoughts of a laptop would creep up I would just think about God’s promise to me and go about my day.
Well, I got a lovely phone call on Friday night with a man telling me that he was going to buy me a laptop. It was nice timing since I was actually at the hospital with Miles. It made my day a little better. It had previously been a really rough day. Since I was at the hospital I couldn’t go with him to pick one out.
The next day I got out of the hospital with Miles and I got to go and look at laptops. I was looking at them all and I was able to pick out what I wanted, but I had no idea which one was the one for me. I finally just told him to pick out the perfect one for me. I prayed and asked God to give me the one that was just right. I ended up getting the sweetest computer! Oh my gosh! It’s so so so nice. It was not cheap at all! Just like I believe the Lord told me…It’s a nice one. It has a 17 inch screen. Well, it’s basically the bomb. The screen is so clear and beautiful. He also bought me a cordless mouse and a flash port so I could keep my writing in two places. I’m so pumped! I prayed over the computer as soon as I got home. Randy and I worked on setting it up until 1:00 in the morning. We were both so excited.
I’m so grateful for such a generous man. I’m even more thankful for a fulfilled promise from the Lord. I woke up this morning with things to write about. I got up, went to the bathroom and wrote down my thoughts that awakened me. All the while I was thankful for the creativity that the Lord has given me.
Here’s something interesting and I’m thinking that it’s connected. When we were about to move into our house my husband really thought the Lord told him that Kathy Hawk was going to buy the bedroom furniture for us that we had picked out. Well, we waited for her to do so, and then Randy went ahead and talked to her about it. She got the info, but we didn’t hear anything from her. We didn’t move our old bedroom furniture to the new house. We just believed that we were going to get our furniture that we fell in love with. Well, we just kept on waiting and believing and all the while sleeping with our mattress on the floor. When another great thing that we were believing for…Miles being totally restored before the arrival of his ordered wheelchair arrived when that didn’t happen we were devastated. It was incredibly heart breaking. I think it’s the most hopeless and painful fog that I’ve ever been in. I was completely wrapped up in pain when I got a wonderful phone call from lovely Brenda telling me that the church was wanting to buy our bedroom furniture for us. Kathy had talked to the Elders of our church about buying it for us. That fulfilled promise of furniture broke off that hopelessness. It was amazing. Even now I like to pray in my bed because I feel closer to the Lord when I’m in it.
Anyway, what I was getting at is that I received the phone call about my laptop while Miles was in the hospital. It’s like the Lord has promised me tangible things that he has come through on to give me hope about my most desired promise that I’m still waiting on. He’s showing me how faithful he is to fulfill his promises.
I have received many perks while I’ve been waiting on the complete miracle of Miles’ healing. This laptop is another one of those wonderful perks. I just had to share this fantastic testimony with you.
Yay Jesus!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Miles & The School Subject

As usual I have some processing that I need to do about Miles. I really need help working out some things so my brain can be settled and have peace about it. Lord, you are invited into this conversation. Please come and give me wisdom.
These sort of things aren’t great to process with Randy because his manliness kicks in and he wants to fix everything, and tell me what to do first, second and third. That’s helpful in a lot of situations, but not this one.
Several of us have children that will be three soon. Our babies are growing up. I can’t say it’s been quick for me. As a matter of fact I feel like Miles was born about 10 years ago. I know Miles won’t be three until October, but because of his situation I have to think about it now.
Miles gets several therapies every week/month. He has vision therapy once a week. He has physical therapy once a week. He has occupational therapy once a week. He has speech therapy 1 time a month. He goes through a program called ECI so he can have services at home. This service is only available for children 3 and under. The day he turns three he will “Graduate” or be “Kicked Out”…however you prefer to look at it. That means that will no longer get therapy services in his home. He will have to go to the rehab several times a week. Now that I have Christy it won’t be so bad to travel. If I can’t go for some reason or another she can take him without me. I don’t necessarily like the idea of her taking him without me all the time, but when things come up it’s nice to know that I have back up. It makes it feel a lot less stressful. Also, this will start with the upcoming school year. This is good for me because next year I will have three in school. Only Melody and Miles will be at home during the day. This frees me up dramatically!

Okay, so with all that info (Which is all just background for what I’m needing to process.)

Here’s my deal. I’m feeling tons of pressure to put Miles into PPCD, Public Preschool for Children with Disabilities. He can go the day he turns three. As a matter of fact I learned that because he is legally blind that he could of actually started when he turned 2. He could start school next September when all the other kids go back. Now, I’ve heard about this school for the last two years. Therapists and coordinators have tried to talk to me about the school for so long, and my response has been, “Uh, he’s only going to be three years old! My kids have always stayed home with me until they go to Kindergarten. They do go to a Mother’s Day Out Program when they turn four, but that’s only one day a week to get ready for school. Plus, my other kids go to Private school…and you’re wanting me to send my handicap son that can’t talk to be about how things are going on to a Public school? You’re nuts. No way!” That is my usual basic thoughts about the whole thing. Well, I committed to going to at the very least taking a tour of the preschool. That was yesterday.
(SIDE NOTE) This was written in two different sittings. One was before the meeting and one was after. I am no longer Processing. You will be able to read the decision by the end of this. Anyway, when I started to read the whole thing together it didn't flow well because of the differences of time.)

So, anyway, the tour was yesterday. I totally planned on hating the whole thing. I decided that I was going to have an open mind about it. Yesterday Randy, Miles and I went to the tour and on the way (and lots of times before that) I invited Jesus Christ to go with us. I asked him to give us wisdom and guidance about what to do. I expected the Holy Spirit himself to give Randy and I the wisdom to make the right decision.
Something very surprising happened yesterday! I fell in love with that little school. The staff was so wonderful. I enjoyed being around all the kids. All the pictures on the walls were adorable. Everything was charming. The staff fell in love with Miles and they couldn’t stop talking about how cute Miles was. They all wanted him to come to the school. The lady we talked to about all the specifics of our situation was incredibly knowledgeable and understanding of our concerns. She gave us all kinds of insightful information and made it clear that it was completely up to us on what we were going to do. I really felt like she was honest when she said that she wanted the very best for Miles. Of course she openly admitted that she would be so happy to have him at the school, but if I wait for a year or so then that would be perfectly acceptable.
I left there totally shocked at how much I liked the school. Everything about it charmed me. I wanted to go there with Miles everyday! It sounded fun. (That was not one of the options.)
One huge thing I had to consider was what to do about Miles’ nurse Christy. She is so amazing and I believe she’s the best nurse we could possibly have for our family. I didn’t want to loose her because of her having to cut her hours back while Miles would be at school. I knew she could stay later, but that’s not really practical for her family or ours. Plus, Randy basically said to me that he didn’t want Miles to go there unless Christy could go with him. That is a possibility if Dr. Wiley will write a prescription stating that Miles needs Christy to be there. Now, Miles doesn’t really need her to go with him, but I bet that Dr. Wiley would write whatever I asked him to write.
So, I talked to Christy and asked her to think about if she liked/hated/loved/despised the idea of going to school with Miles for two hours a day and she said that she liked the idea.
Well, last night Randy and I finally got to have a debriefing about the meeting. The Lord did just as I asked. He gave Randy and I wisdom and he gave us both the same exact feelings and decision! Here it is:
We both love the school. We think they have a great program. We were pleased with what they had to offer and with their caring staff.
BUT, Miles will only be three years old! We don’t see what benefit the school would be to Miles right now. Maybe when he’s four and all four of the other kids will be in school it would be a good time. Hey, I possibly could even get a part time job at that time. WOW! The therapy sessions at the school are iffy about the times the therapist will be there so we couldn’t really count on him getting all the physical therapy he needs while he would be at school. With that in mind we would have to take him out even more in the afternoons to have all his therapy. They would be a lot of travel for any three years old! Also, we can keep the therapist he has currently if doesn’t go to school.
So, that’s it. No school for Miles when he’s three. Maybe four. Maybe not. Right now it’s hard to tell what the future holds for him.
I’m glad that I have peace. I feel so confident with our decision that I will be able to stand firm when others try to persuade me otherwise.
Aw, I’m thankful for James 1:5-7: If you need wisdom-if you need to know what God wants you to do-ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should not expect anything from the Lord. They can’t make up their minds. They waver back and forth in everything they do.
I asked the Lord for wisdom, expected him to give it to me, and he did! My mind is settled!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Homework in Pen

Joey and Spencer were sitting at the table doing their homework when Joey (3rd grade) noticed that Spencer (1st grade) was writing his spelling words with a pen instead of a pencil. Joey said, “Hey, who said you could use pen?” Spencer very matter of factly questioned, “Who said I couldn’t?”
This is in a nutshell is the difference between Joey and Spencer. Joey asks permission to do everything. Spencer has found it easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Using Your Gifts

In light of what I wrote yesterday I thought this excerpt from the book The Journey of Desire by John Eldredge went together nicely. He writes:
During a long layover at O’Hare, I studied the man who sells popcorn from a little stand in one of the terminal hallways. He sat silently, every fifteen minutes or so, someone would stop and buy a bag. He would scoop the popcorn from the bin, take the money, and make change-all without a word being spoken between them. When the brief encounter was over, he would resume his place on the stool, staring blankly, his shoulders hunched over. I wondered at his age; he seemed well past fifty. How long had that been his profession? Could he possibly make a living at it? His face wore a weary expression of resignation tinged with shame. Adam, I thought, what happened? Did he know how far his situation was from his true design? Somehow he knew, even if he didn’t know the Story. His sadness was testimony to it.
Some people love what they do. They are the fortunate souls, who have found a way to link what they are truly gifted at (and therefore what brings them joy) with a means of paying the bills.

Back to me writing now…That made me sad to think about that popcorn man being so far away from his true design. Nothing is wrong with selling popcorn of course, but I’m hoping you know what I mean. He obviously didn’t think it was his dream job or he would have taken more interest in the customers. Anyway, I’m thankful that right now I’m doing what I’m called to do. Even though I’m not making any money by staying at home I’m content because I was made to do this. I’m gifted at being a creative and loving Mom. I’m gifted in the area of training up my children in the way they should go. I always want to be fulfilled in my workplace. I always want to be able to use my giftings that the Lord has placed in me. Anyway, I just wanted to share that with you today.

Monday, April 23, 2007

My talk

I got to give a preview of my Repentace Talk for the upcoming BFW last Saturday. I was made for teaching. I love it so much! I love speaking in front of people and interacting with them as I'm teaching. Everything about it thrills me. My talk was a little over 20 minutes long, and when I saw I was near the end I wanted to slow down so I could enjoy the time just a little while longer. I know this is what I was meant to do or it wouldn't thrill me so. I hate that I only have minimal chances a year to do that sort of thing. I'm hoping as the years increase so will my opportunities to teach. Teaching really is one of my most favorite things to do in the whole world.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Luke, I am your Father!

I love the days when it's easy to be "The Best Mom In The Whole World!"
Today I went to Target to do my annual Flip Flop shopping spree. Before I went to the Flip Flop area I had to stop in and check out the dollar bins. That's when I found all this great STAR WARS stuff. I mentioned on previous posts how much my boys are fans of the Star Wars. It has consumed them. They bring home color pages every day from school that Spencer's teacher prints off for them. They quiz me on trivia daily. They talk Randy into renting them the movies all the time. Well, today for a few dollars each I get to be the best mom in the world when they come home from school. I made them each STAR WARS gift bags full of grand parapheniala. I'm so excited for them to come home!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Random Stuff

I don't have a ton of time to post anything too profound but I have a few things to say.

1. I am loving my nose ring! I've got so many compliments on it! It's been very easy to take care of. Jocie wants one. My boys love it. Randy really likes it! I'm glad I did it.

2. Monday night I decided to grill some hotdogs for dinner. I don't usually do that so it was kind of a big deal. I had already turned the grill on when I was in the kitchen getting stuff together when Melody came running to me and said, "Are you cooking hotdogs?" I said yes. Then she said, "ON DADDIES STOVE?"

3. I found out some WONDERFUL and EXCITING news about my LOVELY friend today!!!!!

4. I have had a cruddy cold this week. I do not like being sick!

5. Miles has been having seizures again. They had stopped and now they're back. I'm not sure what's up about that.

6. I'm working on teaching Jocie how to read. She's doing so great!

7. I have an amazing secret sister! I don't want to trade any time soon.

8. My brother in law and his family stayed with us a couple of weeks ago. Guess what? They are buying my mother in law the house two houses down from me. She has been in love with that house for a year now, and her son is buying it for her. I'm very excited about this! The contract was just accepted yesterday. This will be the nicest house she has ever lived in. I'm so happy for her!

That's all.

Monday, April 16, 2007

The Lord Almighty

In the book Waking the Dead by John Eldredge he was talking about when he was reading the book of Jeremiah and he came upon a passage that referred to God as “the Lord Almighty.” He had mentioned that the reference to God as the Lord Almighty didn’t really resonate with him because it sounded too religious. He thought it sounded too churchy. So he was looking up what that name meant in translation.
In the Hebrew it means “the God of angel armies, “the God of the armies who fight for his people.” The God who is at war.
Before he read the translation he thought that “the Lord Almighty” sounded like “the God who is up there but still in charge. Powerful and in control.” I never thought about the name before personally, but I would agree that I thought “the Lord Almighty” meant that as well.
Then he went on to say, “The God of angel armies sounds like the one who would roll up his sleeves, take up sword and shield to break down gates of bronze, and cut through bars of iron to rescue me.”

When I read that yesterday (and today) my spirit leapt! That is what I need! I need my Lord Almighty, the God of angel armies who fights for his people to come and rescue my son. I need him to come and rescue my sister in law from cancer. I need him to break down gates of diagnoses, and cut through bars of disease to rescue them. I need The God who is at War to bring Miles and Sharon great Victories!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

My Day

Today we had a BALL!

I heard a great BAND!

I saw some LOVE!

Jocie decided that she wanted a TABLECLOTH painted on her face!

Sweet kids PRAYED for their food at Hardin Simmons.

We're never BORED in the Wilson Family!

Monday, April 09, 2007

My 2 Favorite Easter Pictures This Year

Miles was loving his sucker! He would not let Randy take it out of his mouth! His sweet and authentic smile always melts my heart when I see it.

This is all my Mom's grandchildren in order of birth! I love this picture.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Chef Randy

I had to share this with you. This morning I've been working on getting my BFW talk ready since I have to turn it tomorrow. Randy doesn't ever cook, but to be a supportive sweetie of my work he decided to make lunch today for our tribe. It's snowing so I guess the option of running to McDoanlds was out. I was working away and wonderful smells started filling the house. By the time I was called to lunch by little Mella I was hungry! When I saw the table full of food my eyes were ovrewhelmed with the feast set before us. He must have decided that it was "LeftOver Day!" He warmed most of it up from the refrigerator, but he did cook a few of the things. Listen to what we had.
*8 Fish Fillets (he cooked them)
*2 Steaks
*Gourmet Salad leftover from Life Group
*Serving for 12 of Mashed Potatoes (he made this one)
*Roast Beef with muchshrooms (my Mom made it for LG) It was kind of a meat gravy
*2 Pieces of Dominoes Pizza
*2 Spicy Buffalo Wings
*Orange Juice

We threw away more than we ate. Everyone kind of had their pick of what they wanted. I laughed and laughed about how much food there was. It really was enough food for three meals for us. 3x7=21. Twenty one servings for on Saturday lunch. Anyway, it was sweet and I was thankful. I just wanted to share that. Now I must get back to work! If you read this today please pray for me and the other women trying to get their talks ready to turn in tomorrow!

Oh yeah, and after lunch I had to read a chapter to Joey from his Issac Newton book. That was so interesting! I've got to read the rest of that book before we turn it back into the library! It was so captivating!

Friday, April 06, 2007

I did it!

I did it! I know I was going to take one of you with me, but I couldn't wait. Randy came home early today from work and I was needing to get out of the house for a little while. I told Randy I was going to do it and he blessed me to go.

Oh, my gosh...can you believe I got my nose pierced? This mother of five that you know with a running schedule that is crazy and has life group in her home every week got her nose pierced? I can't and I was there!

I drove over there with butterflies in my stomach.
I told myself to get out of the car and go inside because I knew if I went in that I would leave with a nose ring.
I went up to the counter and said, "Hi. I would like to get my nose pierced please." You would have thought I was shopping for make up or something.
So, the cool guy calls me over to another place in the shop, and he just starts getting stuff out of his cabinet. He got distracted by another guy that came into the store. The other guy brought him a guitar rag for his guitar. The cool guy was very excited about this. Cool guy gave the other guy a sticker from his band.
Meanwhile I'm talking to a guy that I know that works there. Two years ago Randy and I went to the Czech Republic on a mission trip and that guy went with us. We talked about kids and stuff. He wanted to know why I didn't bring in the crew. I told him that I didn't think that the tattoo place was a great place for toddlers to hang out. He told me that I would be surprised.
Okay, well, cool guy was done with his little visit so he told me to have a seat.
I had not even had the chance to pick out anything when he was getting ready to do my nose. I was like, "Uh, I don't know what you have picked out there, but I wanted a little diamond stud." He said, "Well, that's what you're gonna get. I've got it right here." OK.
So, I sat in a chair and I told him that I wanted it on my right side. He said, "Are you sure?" I asked him if it made a difference and he said that it did. He said that some people get it done for political, religious or sexual preferences. He said the left side was the "normal side" to get it done. I voted for normal. Plus, he said that nose jewelry was designed to fit on the left side so it wouldn't irritate my nose. I agreed. He marked a spot on my nose with a little marker. I checked the spot and said it was good. Next, he stuck a very small piece of cork in my nose. (strange) Then, he told me to take a deep breath and then to let it out slowly. When I took a deep breath he jabbed a long hollow needle through my nose. *It hurt, but really only for a second.* It did bring tears to my eyes. It hurt a little more than a shot, but not too much more. Remember...I've had 5 children, and several without drugs so a little needle through the nose wasn't much to complain about. So, he let the needle sit there in my nose for a few seconds and then he took it out and put the ring in my nose. He cleaned a little blood off my nose, gave me a couple of instructions, and requested his $35. That's it.

I came home and it was still bleeding just a little bit. I messed with it for a little while, but it looks good now. I can't really feel it in my nose. My eye keeps catching it. It's small, but my eye isn't used to having something in my nose yet.

Randy thinks it's adorable. (Yea!!) He says that it fits my personality.
I was most worried about Joey. He didn't want me to get it done. He never would give me a good reason for not doing it except that he liked me the way I was. When he saw it he said, "That's it? I thought you were going to get one of those things that goes through both sides of your nose! I like what you got." He thought I was going to get some kind of tribal stick through both sides of my nose. He was most relieved to see my little diamond.
Spencer told me he liked it, but he kept acting like he was going to try to take it out.
Jocie loved it. Her friends mom has one.
Melody didn't say much about it.
So far that's all that has seen it.
Oh, except me...I think it's adorable! I'm so glad I went. I feel brave and cute and a little funky.

Who needs a paper shreader?

Here's something wierd that Randy does:
When he prints out a statement from our bank he tears off the account number from the print out and then chews it all up before he throws it away. He doesn't have many quirks so I had to write this one down while it was fresh in my mind.

What's that Smell?

The other day Jocie who is five years old was having a bad day with gas. That girl tooted all day long. It was comical even how loud and often that she was tooting. It was an all day affair. She was not embarrassed at all. She had nothing to hide. Well, after such a long day of her tooting Randy and I started joking about it. Later that evening we were at the table and she exploded again so Randy and I looked at her funny. She got a very serious look on her face and said, "Ive got a toot infection ya know!"

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A Few Notes From My Reading This Morning

I'm reading When Heaven Invades Earth by Bill Johnson.

I got it for Christmas from my wonderful Pastors Bryan and Becky. I'm just now reading it because I lost it for awhile. I looked for it several times, but I couldn't find it. Maybe it was for just a time as this.

I haven't read the stuff just for me yet, but here's a couple of things that jumped out at me:

*Bill Johnson was writing about how misconceptions of God affect those who need faith for their own miracle. He writes, "A woman who needed a miracle told me that she felt God had allowed her sickness for a purpose. I told her that if I treated my children that way I'd be arrested for child abuse. She agreed and eventually allowed me to pray for her. After truth came into her heart, her healing came minutes later."
Now, I don't struggle with this particular wrong thinking, but I've heard several people say this sort of thing before. I'm putting this statement in my memory bank so I can use it the next time someone thinks that God is making them sick so they can learn a lesson. I think it will bring freedom to someone.

*Another thing he wrote is titled Living In Denial. "Fear of apprearing to live in denial is what keeps many from faith. Why is what anyone thinks so important to you that you'd not be willing to risk all to trust God? The fear of man is very strongly associated with unbelief. Conversely, the fear of God and faith are very closely realated."
When I read that I thought of the Encounter service we had not too long ago, and I was instantly filled with embarrassement about how that all went down. The feelings actaully flushed my face as I remembered my declarations of Miles walking out of church in front of everyone. I remembered laying Miles down on the cold concrete floor and expecting God to perform a miracle. As I was sitting there and reminicing about my faith flop an unexpected thing happened. All the sudden I felt like the Lord was telling me that he was proud of me that day. My fear of God and what I believed he was telling me was bigger than my fear of man and what they would think of me if it didn't happen like I thought it would. He took away those feelings of embarrassement and replaced them with feelings of pleasing. That was great.