Tuesday, October 30, 2007

My School Picture

I haven't had one of these for a long time so I just had to share. This is my school picture. I think it came out so cute.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

It's Like The Best Thing Ever

For My Boys Anyway...
This week my boys were blessed beyond what I can describe to you! Last Saturday I was doing laundry when Joey ran to me telling me that I HAD to see something on ebay. A Star Wars collector was having to get rid of his stuff to make room for an addition to his family. The auction was on the front page of ebay. Joey was so excited about it! He asked me if he could bid $10 on it. No one had bid on it yet and the auction still had several days left. Joey and Spencer have been saving up all their money to buy a R2-D2 robot they found at Books a Million. We haven't been letting them spend their money on anything else since they're saving up, but this auction was just too awesome to not let them bid. Especially since just that morning at breakfast I was talking about how much I would like to finally decorate their room in...guess what? Star Wars!
So, I let them bid $10 with a limit of $30. Of course I knew that was a ridiculous bid for such a gigantic amount of stuff, but it was what they boys had. All day I kept getting this feeling in me that just longed for the Lord to help my boys get that stuff. Normally I wouldn't put too much stock in such a thing, but I just wanted my boys to be blessed extravagantly.
The day before the auction ended Joey's $10 still was the only bid. The day of the auction another bidder over bid him. I ended up pitching in another $50 and they won the whole thing!
I know it might sound silly, but it meant as much, possibly even more to me than it did to the boys. TO me it felt like the Lord was showing me that he cares about the things we care about. Even though that stuff should have sold for a lot more he still blessed us. You should have seen Joey, Spencer and I on Tuesday night. We were refreshing the ebay page every thirty seconds. We were creaming and dancing around and praising the Lord when we won. They've been drooling over these pictures for days! They've got such great plans for their room. I think Randy's going to have to make them a really cool shelf to hold all of the figures.
There's no way that Joey and Spencer should have been able to buy all this with $80. They are blessed indeed!
The seller is going to get me a UPS quote tonight and then...it will come to our home! Can you imagine what that will like for Joey and Spencer? It's going to be THREE boxes weighing 83 pounds in all!
You might want to send them a congratulations comment. They're telling anyone who will listen long enough!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Nurse Care Talk

I have not talked to my husband about this. It really just came to me today. It is something that has been building up in me, but an answer to the problem hasn’t felt right until today. Yes I know I’m beating around the bush. It’s a hard thing to commit to or to put to words. It’s a huge topic to me. It’s a huge topic for our whole family. There I go again, stalling.

Okay, I’m thinking about not having nurse care any more.

I miss Miles. I feel like I’m missing out on taking care of him. Of course I take care of him from 3:45 until bed time and on weekends but that’s not the main time for Miles. In the evenings he’s kind of spent for the day. He’s tired and sleeps a lot or he’s kind of zoned out. Sometimes he’s full of life in the evenings but not all the time. Also, another big thing is that because I’m working I’m missing out on doctor appointments and therapy sessions. You may be wondering why I would not want to miss those, but it’s like me missing all the ballet practices of Jocie’s. Physical therapy sessions are a big part of Miles’ life. I’m missing out on those. I’m getting them reported to me second hand. I don’t like that.

Also, I try to keep up with all of Miles stuff after I get off and it’s hard to juggle all those things. There is so much paperwork involved with Miles’ care. For example, right now I’m waiting on a call from a medical supply place so I can set up an appointment with him so I can get a form sent to a doctor so the doctor can send in a form to the insurance. Then when I get the form back from insurance I have to see if Miles was approved or denied. If approved then I’m done. If not then I have to make an appointment with another agency and get set up with their program so they can pay for the wheelchair lift that I’m requesting. See. For one piece of equipment there’s a lot of thinking, planning and calling involved. Christy can only do so much of that sort of thing. Anyway, that wasn’t my point. That was a rabbit trail.

Back to the topic at hand. I just feel like I’m missing out on Miles. I work until noon. I have a couple of hours at home until I pick up the kids and that’s the time that I run errands, eat lunch, usually write and get business done. I don’t really spend time with Miles during that part of the day. After the kids get home they really take up most of my time and energy.

Today I missed another appointment. I called Christy and checked out how it went. She gave me the report and I realized that I was going to miss his three year old check up because the doctor went ahead and gave him his three year old shots and the flu shot so I didn’t have to bring him back in. That appointment was important to me. I wanted to talk to the doctor about how Miles was doing and about his progress that he’s made over the last year. Now that appointment won’t even happen.

So, while I was in class thinking about all this…again. I had an idea. I thought about (of course after Randy and I and agree) working until the Christmas break and then taking over the nurse care. That would give Christy all of November and most of December to find a family that she liked. I really want to make it as easy for Christy as possible. I know how much she loves Miles and how much she likes working here. I would hope that would give her enough time so process the new changes.

Also, if I did it that way then the school would also have enough time to find a replacement for me. I love working there so much. I love everything about it. Well, everything but one very important thing…my divided time with Miles.

When I first got nurse care I needed it so bad. Miles had on that horrible body cast. My hair was falling out I was so overly exhausted. I didn’t care about my birthday I was so tired! That’s a really big deal! Believe me! Anyway, I needed her help a lot then. It was also nice to have her so I could taste a little freedom for awhile. I was stuck at home with small children for so many years that it felt nice to be able to hop in and out of the car without having to get a babysitter for Miles.

But now, I know I can do what it takes to give Miles great care. It sounds fun to stretch him daily and make sure all his medicine is in order. I like the idea of going to therapy and doctor appointments. I’m ready to have my house back all to myself during the day.

I don’t know what this will mean for Melody. She loves pre-k so much but I doubt that she will be able to attend when I’m not working there. I don’t want to pay the money that it will require for her to go. That’s okay though. It will give me some special time with her before she goes to school next year.

It sounds like my mind is made up, but I will admit that I’m a little nervous about the whole thing. Miles requires so much! For his quality of life to be what it is now I have a lot to live up to. He’s gets such great care from Christy during the day. She gets paid handsomely to take care of his needs. I’m a little afraid of my romantic ideas of taking the best care of Miles will fizzle into just doing what I have to with him. That won’t work out well for him. Also, it will make me feel like a loser. And, I won’t be able to get Christy back. And, I don’t want another nurse.

Please pray with me about these things. It’s such a big decision. This idea is the first time that I’ve had peace about letting Christy go. Randy and I need wisdom. We need to know what the Lord wants us to do in this situation. I would like to make a decision about this by the end of October so that would give Christy and the school plenty of time to make plans.

Please, please pray. We’re talking about the well being of our family.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Crying Over Spilled...Water!

My laptop had an accident.

Someone spilled water on the key board.

No one has confessed.

I took it to Best Buy to have the Geek Squad fix it. They wouldn’t even send it off to be looked at for less than $180. Then the guy told me that it wouldn’t be fixed for less than $500, but it would probably be more like $800. I told him that it was not fair for him to talk to me like that! 

I took it to another place and he gave me a number for a guy.

When I called “the guy” I told him what happened and then I told him that I took it to Best Buy. He started to laugh at me. He told me to bring it buy and that he would check it out for free.

Well, I took it over there and didn’t hear anything from him for awhile. I finally talked to him and he said that he was having a hard time finding a new keyboard for me that would fit my laptop. He’s still looking. He did have a temporary solution for me. He sent my laptop home with a detachable full size keyboard.

It works but it looks ridiculous!

I’m trying to have a good attitude but I really just want my laptop fixed and I want it fixed cheap. Is that too much to ask?

Please agree with me that “the guy” will quickly find what he needs to fix my laptop and get it working properly very soon! And, that it will be at a good price! I don’t feel too creative with all this equipment.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Monday, October 15, 2007

This strange thing I do...

Here’s something strange and unknown about me:

I do this weird thing. I’m not even sure if I can accurately explain it.

It all started in the 8th grade. I used to be in track. I loved it. I never could run long distances but I was always fast. I was on the relay teams, but my favorite thing was the 100 yard dash hurdles. I won all the time with that race. For some reason it came natural to me.

Running that race has a lot to do with timing…obviously. To practice while in the car I started doing this thing with my head and feet. Now, no one would ever know I was doing this because I looked like I’m being still, but on the inside I was running a race.

In my head my toes would run (they actually moved) and when the car would come up to a crack in the street or a shadow I would jump just like I would jump over a hurdle. But like I said no one would see me jump I would just pick up my toes like I was jumping and I would pretend that I was jumping.

Well, all these years later I still do it! I do it all the time! I don’t necessarily think of them as hurdles any more. I just keep my toes moving around all the cracks, shadows and tar marks on the street. I don’t even think about it anymore. I just do it. I’ll catch myself doing it and then I try to think back to where in the trip I began it.

Here’s something funny. I never thought anyone would ever understand this little thing I do UNTIL…Joey told me one day, “Hey Mom, I do this weird thing with my feet.” I looked at him with intense eyes as he explained this laser game he plays with the edges of the couch. It’s the same game! In our house he plays it with any straight line that’s in the house. He pretends that there’s a laser beam that he has to jump over so he won’t break the line. HOW INTERESTING IS THAT? I mean, of course I didn’t teach him my own game. How could I? He just made up his own strange game like mine.

Every once in awhile we’ll be in the car and he will tell me that he’s playing his laser game. Then I tell him that I’m playing my line game too.

Do any of you know what in the world I’m talking about?

Friday, October 12, 2007


I didn’t save the world today. I didn’t sell all my possessions and give the money to the poor. I didn’t stand out on the streets and talk about Jesus to everyone that passed by.

I did sacrifice my nap today though.

Yesterday was a busy day for me. Miles had an appointment in Ft. Worth so we took him there. He had Botox shots again. That trip in one day usually makes me tired the next day. We got home late, and I had to get up early.

I went to work, came home fixed us lunch and then was very excited to take a nap with Mella. I laid Miles down for a nap. I set my alarm to wake up in time to pick up the boys.

As I was getting my bed ready for Melody and I the phone rang. It was a woman calling me as a personal reference for Joanne. I talked to her for awhile and I think I was helpful to Joanne. Although, she could have told me that her real name is Kimberly! That threw me off.

Then I laid down and was just drifting off to sleep when the doorbell rang.

I got up and it was Randy’s niece. She needed diapers for her daughter. Miles gets his diapers sent to us for free and I always have several packages left over. I give them to our niece. She’s a single mom and she doesn’t have a lot of extra money. The diapers help her out a lot. We had 3 packages of extra wipes, 4 packages of diapers and lotion for her today. She was thrilled. I was happy to give them to her.

After she left I quickly got back in bed with Melody who was already fast asleep. I dozed off quickly and soon was interrupted by the doorbell again. I had no idea who it could be. When I got there it was Angela, the girl that cleans our house. She wanted me to laminate several copies of an obituary for her friend’s family. She came in while I laminated them for her, talked for awhile then she left.

After she was gone I looked at the clock and decided it was too late to get that nap. Instead of feeling upset or really tired, I actually felt refreshed. I was pleased that I had unexpected guests that needed help and that I was able to help them.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The Goal of My Life

The goal of my life is that while I’m alive, when I die and long after my death I’m known as a woman who trusted God no matter what. I want it said about me that I trusted in the goodness of the Lord all my days. I want to be known as a friend of God in the good times and the bad. I don’t want it to be said that I ran a good race for awhile but that I got tired and gave up. I never want to be known as a bitter woman.

I want it to be known that I saw many miracles first hand. Also, that I trusted and believed when others gave up. I want to be thought of as a woman that refused to be offended at God and man. I want to live my days with joy in my heart and with a peaceful mind.

I want the supernatural to be super natural to me. I want to believe every word of the Bible. I don’t want to water down even one word of it. I want to live above natural laws. I want to see through eyes of truth instead of circumstance. I want everyone to know that I believe with God all things are possible. I want to be best friends with the Holy Spirit.

I want to be known as a woman that worshipped God outwardly and inwardly. I want to have a thankful heart even on my hardest days. I want for my flesh to praise the Lord even when all it wants to do is die. Also, on my best days I want to bless the Lord with shouts of praise and thanksgiving. I do not ever want to turn and thank the clouds more than I thank the Lord.

One day I want my children to stand and call me blessed. I want them to be world changers because of things I pour into them today. I want it to be said that I trained up all my children in the way they should go and that they never departed from it.

I want to be known as a woman that built her husband up and never tore him down. I want to always be a Godly example of a wife. I want to respect and honor my husband all my days. I want to be the perfect help mate for him. I want to prefer him over myself every day. I want to meet every need in him that I was intended to meet.

I look forward to the day when I’m told by Jesus that I was a good and faithful servant.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Here’s some comic relief:

Jocie: Spencer you’re having bad manors! Your elbows are on the table!

Spencer: It’s not like if I have my elbows on the table that there will be an alien invasion to come and take us all away and vaporize us!

Jocie: Yea Right!

p.s. I’m doing better.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Dear Me,
I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time today. Today should be a celebration. Your son that could be dead is not dead. He’s alive and now three years old. I know you’re overwhelmed with how things are changing with his services. I know that you didn’t plan for Miles to still be so limited in his mobility. I know you didn’t plan for a wheelchair, more medicines than you knew was possible, a full time nurse for your son and of course the fact that Miles still isn’t healed.
I, more than anyone don’t want you to be sad. I wish you could just be comforted by the fact that Miles is doing so well now and that he’s happy. I suggest that you continue to meditate on all the wonderful things you have in Miles besides the sad and frustrating things you have to deal with. Of course that’s a lot easier said than done.
I’m sorry you feel lonely and like there’s not anyone that understands how you feel today. How could they? No one else knows exactly what your life is like. Don’t let that discourage you. Even though they don’t know exactly how you feel I’m sure you know how much they love you and want to support you.
Also, quit beating yourself up about being disappointed today. You don’t live in disappointment. These changes have just stirred up feelings that you haven’t visited in a while. Everything still is the same. Miles is still adorable. He still brings you so much joy when you hold him. Just remember that these changes are all going to work out just like everything has. There have been many things that you thought you couldn’t do, but you’ve over come every one of them. This will be the same. You will get everything organized, and you know the Lord always sends you a helper. You’ll see that this is just another thing that you’ll get excellent at. You can manage his case just as well as anyone else. You really are doing it now. You’re just delegating others to make calls for you. Don’t worry about how it will get done. You’ll do just fine.
Miles will be healed when Miles is healed. When that day comes then all the days like today will not compare to the uncontainable joy that you will have then. Don’t get depressed that the day hasn’t happened. Be excited that the best day of your life hasn’t happened yet. Not many people have something that big to look forward to.
Even though all that’s true I know it’s still hard today. The good news is that it won’t be hard next week. You’ll be over what you’re feeling today. Try to enjoy your son’s birthday. This is the only day that he will turn three.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

I'm 30 and very loved.

Please forgive me for taking so long to blog about the perfect party! I’ve wanted to get on here, but I’ve been really super crazy busy. I mean even busier than usual!

My party was so perfect for me! My husband and then later Rachel asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I thought about it for awhile and I finally pinned down what I wanted for my 30th birthday. After I figured out what I wanted I was a little embarrassed to admit it out loud. I told them that I wanted to feel really popular and get a lot of presents! I would suggest that if you’re ever asked what you want for your birthday that you would say the same thing! That’s exactly what I got!

Rachel, Joanne and Krissy threw me a slumber party with all my best girlfriends! We had a blast! It was my favorite birthday ever! It was decorated like a princess party. Joanne made wonderful cupcakes and delicious chocolate. Rachel had a punch fountain going that lit up and flowed beautifully. It was such a treat to drink punch out of it.

Then we made our own pita pizzas. They were way yummy. I’m incorporating this recipe in my menu for my family.


This was the most fun I’ve ever had opening presents. The word got out that I wanted a lot of presents! It took me almost an hour to open all of them. We all laughed so hard! I’m not really sure what we were all laughing about but it was really funny! The most wonderful presents kept coming and coming!

After that Amy brought out the pinata! Can you believe it? She had it filled with all kinds of chocolate treats AND fun stuff. There was finger nail polish, manicure stuff, mittens and lip gloss! Everyone made a mad dash for the pinata treats! That was a lot of fun!

Then, we talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked. We talked until about 3 in the morning! Then we popped in my “fav” movie “Stomp the Yard.” We stayed up until 4:45 in the morning. I don’t know when I stayed up that late before…besides at a Lock in at the Skating rink back in the day.

The next morning we had a small make up party and Joanne gave us a ton of Mary Kay make up. That was so fun. I loved everything about the party! I want the same party every year! I loved being with so many of my best girls all evening.

Hopefully I will get some of the pictures from Kelly soon. Until then I will just be able to share all the pictures I have of my presents! I’m so blessed. I have the best girlfriends in the world!

And by the way….You Win Rachel! THANK YOU!!!