Thursday, November 30, 2006

It's snowing!

I don't care if every one of you post about the weather. I'm going to also. I love love love it! This morning I got to snuggle in the bed with my boys since they didn't have school. I got up and made waffles and hot chocolate. I let them play in the snow. They got on the trampoline and I took pictures of them falling on their bottoms. I snuggled with Miles on the couch and he was so loud with excitement. He loved being under the blanket with me while the kids were running around him. He was as happy as could be. I went to the bathroom for a minute and when I came out my brother Charlie and Randy's other worker was in my house emptying my coffee pot. Randy is working on a house just down the street and his guys were freezing so they came to the house for coffee. That was fun. I made another pot and reheated some waffles for them then they left. Then I made a yummy warm lunch for Randy. After lunch I ran to the movie store while Randy rested on the couch and I rented 3 Christmas movies. When I got home I laid the kids down for a nap, and after they wake up we're going to have a Christmas movie marathon. Fun! I'm glad that Texas shuts down with it snows. It's so rare that it should shut down. Hey, I got a personal call from the boys school telling us that the school was not open today. That was neat. I did ask Spencer's teacher if she was up for babysitting but she said no. I told her she could pick 1 to 5 children. I had plans today to find myself a fancy dress for Elliott's party tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I will be able to find one then. I do know how I'm going to do my hair. I practised yesterday and I like it. Randy thought it was a little out there, but that's okay.
So, today the snow is wonderful. It's great, but please keep in mind Lord that I need some time to look for a fancy dress. I know I could have already looked for one, but that's not how I roll.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

He's So Cute!

Meet Mr. Pumpkin Buns. He's a great friend of ours. He lives on South 11th. Every school morning for the last 2 months we have driven by Mr. Pumpkin Buns house and waved, laughed and clapped about him. The day after we took these pictures we drove by his house and the huge wind storm we had knocked his buns right out of his pants! We laughed so hard! Well, this week his buns were back in and we've been rejoicing! It's good to have him back!

Test Results

The test went great yesterday. You're right Jennifer. I get to do lots of cool things. This was one of the neater ones. I took Miles to the test which was in the Radiology department. They stuffed me into this little space with huge machines on both sides of me. They squished the machines on me so they could get as close to Miles as possible. I had a heavy X-Ray vest on my body, and a X-ray throat choker and I was holding Miles. I could not submit to the claustrophobia that was trying to attack me. I just stayed focus.
There was a man in front of Miles and it was his job to spoon food Miles and to give him a bottle. This man was so kind and gentle. He had a quiet and nice spirit and it put me at ease. They had a tray of food sent from the cafeteria for Miles. It had cottage cheese, pear sauce, chocolate pudding, crumbled hamburger meat, mashed potatoes and a hunk of chicken. I told the guy to stick to the potatoes. He put the Barium in the food and the bottle so the food could be seen on the X-ray video. Quickly the doctor said that his swallow was great and that was the end of the test.
After I got out of the hole they put me in I asked the guy to show me the video. He was so nice. He showed me the video and explained how everything works when you swallow. It was so awesome! I could see Miles whole skeleton from the top of the head to his shoulder in video form. He looked so adorable. I could see his cute little nose and his teeth. It was amazing to see the food work around in his jaw and then move down his throat. It had a cool motion to it. That guy kept rewinding and the playing it again for me. I guess he was amused at my amazement. I was very pleased with his explanations.
I'm so glad the test went well. The only problem is that we still don't know what is causing Miles to reject his food like he does. The technician said the problem is probably lower down in the esophagus or the lower stomach. But, like Randy said, "At least we know there is one thing not wrong with Miles. He can swallow."
It was nice to leave an appointment where everything was normal.

Today a dietitian came over to talk about Miles weight and food with me. He weighs 19 pounds and he is 29 and a half inches long. He's under the 5th percentile for his weight and height. His weight wasn't even on the chart for a 2 year old. He's a small little boy. That shocks me. I thought he was super tall, but I guess because he's so skinny he looks taller than he is. The dietitian said we need to have the goal of him gaining 5 pounds and she didn't give me help on how to get there. I looked back at his baby book and he has been 19 pounds since he was 9 months old. He's just grown taller. So, pray that the Lord will give him a healthy 5 more pounds. I asked Miles if he would take donations, but he didn't answer me.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Swallow Test Today.

Okay, I'm about to take Miles to the swallow test that I wrote about 2 weeks ago. I have to take him in his wheelchair. They will give him Barium (sp?) to drink and then feed him a bottle and spoon feed him while watching a computer screen to see where the food goes when he swallows. They will be checking to see if he is aspirating and I think some other stuff. I think I'm going to be able to watch the screen and see the food go down his throat. How wild it that.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I did it.

Well, I had a good cry, but I'm feeling good.

Knowing that I was going to take Miles into church today in his wheelchair was racing in my mind before bed, while getting my kids ready for church, while doing my makeup, while cleaning out the back of the Suburban to see if the wheelchair fit, and of course on my way to church. On the way there I asked Randy what his thoughts were if any at all about the whole thing. He told me that he hadn't thought about it too much, but when I started to tell him the things that were going on in my head he agreed that he had thought of most of those things.

I think one of the main issues that I was having was that I knew that it might hurt my friends to see Miles in his wheelchair. This really did bother me and bless me. I knew that if the tables were turned and it was a friend of mine that brought their child to church for the first time in a wheelchair that I would be sad for her. My friends have fought, prayed, believed and supported me from day one so I kept thinking about how they would feel today. I know that if I had to watch my dear friend be brave and face the crowd today I would have hurt for her, I wouldn't have known what to say, I would have talked about her when I got in the car with Randy, I would have wanted to give her a hug or wanted to avoid her completely.

Another thing I thought about before I got to church was the reason I was so upset about the whole wheelchair thing. Why was it so upsetting? What does it mean? To me, it felt like I was admitting defeat. Permanent Defeat...No. Just defeat for now. Who likes to admit defeat?

Then of course the "Always a conflict issue." Is this thing that I've sold my life to true? How can it be true if I'm about to take my handicap child into church? In my Bible it says that my God is a healer, but my son cannot do anything on his own. I've now got a wheelchair to prove that he should be able to walk and he can't. Do I look like a contradiction? What in the world is the Lord doing? Can he give me just a taste of the future so I can go into church with my head held high knowing that God is going to rescue me?

On the way there I was doing okay. When we pulled up I couldn't seem to catch my breath. I asked Randy if we could just wait until next week. I didn't want to do it. Diane pulled up beside us and I had no desire to whip out the wheelchair. Randy said we were going to do it. He prayed for me and then went to get it out of the back. As he was getting it out of the back Joey asked me for a piece of gum. (Read Previous Gum Post) I said, "Gum? Yes Gum. I can give you gum. You can have gum. Here help yourself. Have the whole pack. Share with your brother." Joey didn't understand why I was being so generous and he didn't question. He just enjoyed splitting his plunder with Spencer.

I actually felt weak in the knees. I haven't felt that way in...I can't remember. Oh yeah, since my very first BFW. I guess it's that exposed feeling all over again. Well, I made it to the Ushers and got my bulletin. I read it about 17 times before I got to my seat. I can't tell you one thing it said, but I kept looking at it to avoid eye contact.

We got many comments like, "He's so cute." He really is cute in that thing. He was smiling and happy. We got a, "He's mobile now!" I got a couple of hugs and a few, "Cool chair."

We got to our seats with Miles brakes parked and then worship started. The song starts:
Through you the blind will see.
Through you the mute will sing.
Through you the dead will rise.
Through you our hearts will praise.
Through you the darkness flees.
Through you my heart sings I am free.
I am free.
I am free to run.
I am free to dance.
I am free to live for you.
I am free.
I am free.

I said, "Come on Billy you're killing me." Then I cried for the next 45 minutes. All I could do was stand there with perfect posture and weep throughout worship. I silently sang those words to the Lord and told him how broken I felt. One of the songs was I'm coming back to the heart of worship. In the song is says Ill bring you more than a song for a song in itself is not what you have required. You search much deeper within through the way things appear. You're looking into my heart. Today I brought the Lord something more than a song. I was feeling pretty beat up about the way that I was hurting until this song came on. I felt like God was accepting my worship today. It cost me something. It hurt.

So many people came up to me today and just hugged me and encouraged me. It meant a lot. Of course I was over exposed a bit but I didn't care. You know how when you're in the delivery room and at the end of the whole thing you don't care who is in the room? You just are ready to have your baby and your normal modest self just goes out the window? That's how I felt today. I was beyond trying to conceal or act fine. I was hurting and it felt good that I was being loved on. It feels good to not feel invisible. I love that our church body encourages being open. If I had to have it together every Sunday I would not see the point in going. I didn't feel free to dance today but I did feel free to cry. By the way I don't know who brought tissues over to us right away but thanks. I used every square inch of those tissues and they were the good kind that left my face feel oily.

After a couple of songs I thought about leaving. I thought that if I could just get out of there I could try again the next week. I quickly knew this was a bad idea. If I left then next week would be even worse. I can only imagine the torment that I would have during the week. I'm glad I decided to stay.

By the time worship was over I was feeling better. I was ready to listen to the sermon and receive. I did great through the whole thing. Right before communion Kathy came over to Randy and I and said "The Words". These are the words that you should say if people are going through things that are hard. Here they are...I just want you to know that even if you are too tired to pray or to be full of faith that we are still doing it for you. We are so proud of you. We are so proud of you for hanging in there. We are still here for you. But most of all I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that you're still having to go through this and that it's still hard. We love you. Those are the words that are so comforting. Those are the things that make me feel loved and encouraged. When she was saying these things she had her hands on us and she was looking at us in the eyes. She was serious and compassionate. After she said those wonderful things she kissed our cheeks. If you could bottle that up and sell it there would be no end to your profits. It's love and understanding.

So of course I lost all composer after that. I had to get up and take communion and we had to wheel Miles up there with us. That was hard. My hands were shaking as I was taking the blood and body of Christ. In my mouth it tasted bitter sweet. That's what today was. It was bitter sweet.

After communion I marched behind Randy and Miles with my head held high and wished I was invisible. I wanted to magically appear in my car and be on my way home. That didn't happen. There was still kids to gather and small talk to be had. When I went to pick up Joey from Children's Church I asked Joey if he wanted to push Miles around. We're trying to make it like a treat to get to push Miles in the wheelchair. I told Randy the other day that we have to allow the kids to play with Miles in that chair. My theory is that if we act like the chair is sterile that the kids will act the same way. If we act like it's fun to push Miles in the wheelchair that it will be fun. So far this has been true. You should have seen Joey push Miles across the gym floor. It was a little scary. I told Randy that Miles is two years old, and 2 year olds get hurt all the time. If Miles gets hurt sometimes when the kids are pushing him then it's just normal. Of course I don't want him to get hurt, but I also want his brothers and sisters to be able to play with him and not feel nervous that they will break him.

One person asked me how I was doing today and I told them that it was been a rough day. When I did make it to the car I felt good about how the day had gone. I felt like I made a big step today. Miles loves the chair and it's great for his body. It's really like he's having physical therapy when he's in the chair. It was made just for him. He's so alert and happy in it that I need to get over my issues so he can enjoy himself more. I feel like today was a success.

In the car you would think that I was totally relieved that I had completed my day, but that wasn't true. I had to go from that whole deal to my next deal. My brother and his wife and my nephew Connor was in town and I had to make them lunch right after church. My nephew is actually 2 weeks younger than Miles. I wanted to crawl in a hole and reset, but that wasn't an option. I had to keep going. Before I could cook I had to stop off the HEB for a few items. Randy and the kids stayed in the car while I went inside. When I walked in there it felt so surreal. The tortilla maker lady smiled big at me like there was not a care in the world. People were passing by me with their lists and carts. I just felt like yelling at the top of my lungs, "HOW CAN ALL OF YOUR LIVES BE SO NORMAL? HOW CAN EVERYTHING AROUND ME BE SO CALM WHEN I FEEL SO EMOTIONAL? DON'T ANY OF YOU KNOW THAT I TOOK MY SON TO CHURCH IN A WHEELCHAIR FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY? WHY HASN'T THE WORLD STOPPED?" Of course I'm glad I didn't didn't do that. I did have an outburst at Thanksgiving dinner that I wish I could take back. (Maybe I will get to that on another post. Remind me if I forget.)
That's how I felt today. My world was upside down and everyone else seemed to be doing normal things. It's a strange feeling. I had to go home to a house of 12 and make homemade tomato soup and 24 grilled cheese sandwiches and be hostess. I had to play games and be charming. I had to suppress all feelings of broken heartedness and just continue. Continue being a Mommy to five children, listening to church stories, cook lunch, display my food pretty for when my Mom came over, prepare for a good time all the while silently mourning a loss I felt today.

But I made it. I did it. Next time will be easier. I can only look forward to the day when I get to see Miles push his wheelchair around like a toy. We went to McDonald's tonight and the lady that handed out our food had a big Tattoo on her neck that said HOPE. Again, hope is restored in the strangest of ways.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Breathe in...Exhale

Okay, tomorrow is kind of a big day. We're planning on taking Miles to church in his wheelchair for the first time. I've taken him on a test run around our neighborhood and that went well. We even went shopping at a store by myself. It wasn't too bad at all. He really seems to like the chair which helps a ton. I think I'm ready to start using the chair. I just don't want to have an emotional breakdown about the whole thing. I've been doing pretty well so I don't want to ruin it. Please pray for our family that Miles will be able to have a comfortable place to sit without his family being an emotional wreck about it.

He really is pretty cute in his chair. I will have to get a picture of him in it on here for you to see him.

This is a huge step for us.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Where for art thou Repair Man?

Day Four for the Family of Seven to be without a refrigerator! Yikes!

Well, the repair man did not show up again today. When Randy got home I asked him what was up and he went in Warrior mode. He tracked down the said repair man to a nearby alley and he went after the hunt.

He came to tell me that he would be right back. He did not ask if it was okay. He did not consider the plans we have made for dinner. He meant business and I said not a word.

Jocie came in and asked where Poppa went and I told her that her Poppa went to track down the Refrigerator Man in the alley to which she said, "Hally Mat-a-Roll!" I couldn't agree more!

This will be our first time to ever host Thanksgiving dinner in our home. Almost all of Randy's family will be here for Thanksgiving and as of right now we do not have a refrigerator. The compressor on ours went out on Friday. Thanksgiving to Randy's family is Big. The idea of not having a refrigerator merely days before the precious event spins Randy's nerves into knots. I really should be interceding for the Repair Man instead of typing this post.


Yikes...the scent of the Repair Man went cold. Randy just returned from the hunt without any meat. He went directly to the bath to clean up his wounds. I guess dinner is still going to have to wait.

Ho Hum...

Well, after that last gloomy post I've wanted to write something enlightening, witty, hilarious or controversial, but I got nothin'.

I didn't see Jack Black dressed like a King.

I didn't find a missing letter that somehow made me feel God is in control.

I didn't learn how to play Sudko and become easily obsessed with playing the game.

Nothing. I got nothing.

Oh creative stick come back to me.

I did have a great weekend away with my husband, but I can't write anything about that. That is Top Secret, Private, Report Blog for Questionable Material type stuff.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Just picture me screaming and throwing things.

Where do I begin this post with the new information I got today that makes my head swim with scenarios, fears, hopelessness, and frustration?

The nurse Christy took Miles to the doctor today for immunization shots that he was behind on because his legs were casted so long. Plus, we had several different issues that we needed to get information about from the doctor about Miles. Christy had a list of things to discuss.

  • The seizure medication has been doubled and Miles is still have seizures.
  • He's been spitting up his food again, and throwing up at night.
  • The blood circulation to his feet are bad causing them to be purple a lot of times.
  • Immunization shots
  • His weight.

Well, Dr. Wiley thought the throwing up at night was due to the seizures he's having at night. (we already thought that) so he upped his medication some more.

The blood circulation thing is the same answer as always...There's nothing we can do but rub Miles' feet all the time to keep the blood flowing.

Shots taken care of. He didn't like them.

He only weighs 19 pounds. He's so very long. This is a problem.

We didn't think he was sick at all but he has double ear infections. He has not had one day of fever. He does not have any runny nose or anything. I can't believe he's sick! There were no signs!

The throwing up the food again is why I'm disturbed. Dr. Wiley has ordered a swallow test on Miles to see where his food is going when he swallows. The test is not a big deal. It's an easy thing. It's done in Abilene. The thing that's bothering me is that Christy came home talking about how Dr. Wiley thinks a G-Button would really benefit Miles. If he had a button in his stomach it would help with his reflux, help him to gain weight, help with the throwing up and blah blah blah. You can read more about the button at

Here's the deal. One of the only things that Miles does normal is eat food. I love it that I can feed him. He enjoys it. If he gets this tube then he will have his liquid food shot right to his stomach where he won't have to eat. His medications will be given to him through his tube. He will have to be hooked up to tubes to eat. He could be hooked up to a pump at night to eat. It's just so dang medical. It just seems like Life Support to me, but as Randy pointed out when I talked to is feeding him already. He can't feed himself. Hey, have any of you ever realized that Miles has never fed himself one thing? That last sentence by itself takes my breath away and makes me feel trapped.

Honestly, from the beginning there were two things that I put my foot down about. 1. I did not want Miles to have seizures. 2. I did not want Miles to have a G-button. As you know #1 came to pass already a month ago. It was out of my control.

Here's what I'm feeling:

  • Part of me wants to be a Warrior Woman about this and with everything in me fight from him getting this procedure done. I want to say if anyone tries to talk to me about Miles getting that button that I will punch them in the face. I want to say that I will stand my ground and demand that the Lord fix his problems. I just want to stand firm.
  • Another part of me wants to just say "Whatever" in a weak way and just go with the flow. I can't seem to control anything that happens with Miles anyway. I might as well just give up having anything that I limit with him. It doesn't help anything. I just feel like laying down on the floor and letting the cards fall where they may.
  • Then another part of me thinks that I all I can do is love Miles, take care of him in whatever way that means best for him. If it means that I need to allow him to have that button then do it. I can have a cheerful attitude and just continue to hope for the best for him.

All three of those things could be agreed on by other people and all three of those things could be frowned on by other people. There's no winning. All three are wrong because they are so far from Miles being totally restored which is what we all desire. All three are right because they are so far from Miles being totally restored which is what we all desire.

I know this is not a sweet post. Well, it's not all sweet. I can assure you.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I want Gum!

Today I was praying for a little boy that I don't know, but I heard he got sent to Cook's Medical Hospital and that he was sick. This of course hits very close to home for me so I've been praying and praying for him.

So, I'm laying down in bed and praying for that little boy, and I'm asking Jesus to go into that hospital to that little boy and heal him immediately. I don't want it to be a healing process. I surely don't want that little boy and his parents to go through any of the devastating things that our family has/is going through. I'm picturing Jesus going into that hospital like a whirlwind, healing that little boy, his parents rejoicing and getting to leave and the doctors sighing with relief and amazement. Then the whole thing is over.

Then I began to wander in my thoughts while I'm praying and ask God how I can pray for this if it didn't happen for me. Jesus didn't come into the hospital, heal Miles and we were out of there rejoicing, yet I have hope that he will do it for that little boy. I know God heals all the time. I've been healed by Jesus. I know several people that have been healed by Jesus. I asked God, "Why do I pray for healings when you are basically going to do whatever it is that you want to do?" It's a funny thing, but after I asked God that I pictured my purse and the secret pocket that I keep my gum in. Every single day, usually several times a day Jocie and Melody ask if they can have a piece of gum. More times than not I say no to them. Sometimes I give them gum, but usually I say no. This does not keep them from asking me because sometimes I do say yes. Now, it's never a matter if I have gum or not. I always have gum. I usually have more than one pack of gum, but I have my reasons for giving or not giving them the gum.

Do I love my kids? Of course I do. Do I want them to be happy? Of course I do. Do I have the power and resource to give them gum any time I want to? Yes I do. Why do I not give them gum any time they ask me? Well, because I'm the Mom and I know that if they go to bed with gum in their mouth that when they wake up it will be a mess in their hair. I know if they have already had gum that day or too much sugar for the day that they just don't need it. I know when they are just bored and they want something to do so they ask me for gum, but it's not really going to meet their need like they think it will. Does that make me a mean Mommy that I won't give them what they want when they want even though I can meet their need? No, it means that I know what's best for them, and when they ask at the right time I will give them gum and they will be able to enjoy it.

Matthew 7:9 Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will you give him a snake? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those that ask him!

Wow! That was the word of the Lord for me today. He is a good Daddy and he knows what I want more than I think I know what I want.

Does this mean that I should stop asking him to heal my son? Does this mean that I should stop praying for that little boy in the hospital? No. I never mind the girls asking me for gum. The Lord will give me the gum when it's the right timing. I can keep asking if the timing is right. I know because the verse right before the good gift verse is Matthew 7:7 and it says: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened.

Lord, I want you to heal that little boy at Cooks Hospital today. I want you to go in there and heal him instantly. I want the parents to rejoice and take him home. I want the doctors to be able to sigh a breath of relief and be amazed at your healing power.

While you're at it God....heal my son too.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Super Life Group

Today after church we were eating lunch and talking about the upcoming Super Life Group where we will be playing Deal Or No Deal. I told you in a different post that we were fans! We've been so excited about playing it at church because we know it's going to be a blast!

We were talking about who will be Howie. We all agreed that it has to be Billy. No one could be better than Billy. Then we were wondering who would be the Banker, and I thought Brandon Hawk should be in there some where because he's always funny. Then Randy asked if I thought they were going to have "Models" there. I remember hearing Brenda saying that there would not be Models so I said, "No there will not be any Models", and then Jocie said, "SO THAT MEANS I CAN'T GO!" We all laughed so hard. It was so cute!

Wedding Talk

I was making breakfast this morning when Jocie came up to me and told me that when she wants to get married when she's a Mommy. I explained to her that first she gets married and then she gets to be a Mommy. She said, "Oh, okay. I was dreaming about it, and I know who I'm going to marry." I asked her who it was and she said, "Payton." I smiled at her and told her that she should be praying for her future husband. I told her that she should pray that God would send her the PERFECT husband for her. She said, "Okay then, I will pray for Poppa!"

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Rachel your gonna love this one!!!!!!!!

Tonight at dinner Jocie prayed for our food before we ate. While she was praying she thanked Heaven. Then Melody said, "Yes, Thank EVAN and Payton!"

Theology Moment By Jocie

We were eating dinner when Jocie pointed to the sour cream and said, "I know why it's called Sour Cream. It's because God is in heaven. And he's not the only one that's good. Jesus is good. And, no one can color good like God and Jesus. They color gooder."

Halloween 2006

I'm glad the sun didn't melt these cute little M&M's.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Just a spoon full of Medicine helps the Medicine go Down.

I had to make a chart today for Miles' medicine. I know it all in my head, but when Randy tries to get the medicine he doesn't have a clue so I always have to rattle off medication names and doses. I printed the list out and taped it on the inside of our kitchen cabinet. I thought you might be interested. This is the stuff he takes Every Day!

· Artane 6mL
· Calritin ½ tsp.
· Prevacid 1 tablet (just pop in his mouth whole)
· Topamax 1 capsule (give in solid food only)
· Mannatech AO 1 cap
· Mannatech Sport 1 cap
· Mannatech PhytAloe ¼ tsp.
· Mannatech Ambro 1 tsp.

· Artane 6mL
· Mannatech AO 1 cap
· Mannatech Sport 1 cap
· Mannatech PhytAloe ¼ tsp.
· Mannatech Ambro 1 tsp.

· Artane 6mL
· Topamax 1 capsule (give in solid food only)
· Prevacid 1 tablet (just pop in his mouth whole)
· Mannatech AO 1 cap
· Mannatech Sport 1 cap
· Mannatech PhytAloe ¼ tsp.
· Mannatech Ambro 1 tsp.
· Pulmicort 1 vial

As needed:
Cough/wheezing- Albuterol 1 vial
Cough/congestion- Norel DM 1 tsp.

November Miralax schedule: ¼ Capful
Tuesday 7, Thursday 9, Saturday 11, Monday 13, Wednesday 15, Friday 17, Sunday 19, Tuesday 21, Thursday 23, Saturday 25, Monday 27, Wednesday 29

Human Antenna

Our family is a huge Deal or No Deal fan! It's really one of the only shows we watch on TV. We don't have cable so our stations are fuzzy a lot of time. Usually Joey or Randy can mess with the antenna and get it watchable. It doesn't really bother us because like I said, we don't watch a lot of TV. Well, last night I was feeding Miles, Randy was holding Melody and the TV needed to be fixed so we could watch Deal or No Deal. I couldn't get up and Randy didn't want to get up so he told Jocie to go stand by the TV for a second to see if it cleared up. It did, but only for a second so he had Jocie go over by the TV again and it straightened up nicely. Jocie stood there for a minute and then said, "Hey, that's weird. I think I have skills."

Monday, November 06, 2006

Peace to Josh in the Name of Jesus!

This morning when I woke up I asked the Lord to be Master of my day. I haven't thought to ask that in a very long time. Well, after I got up and the events of the day started rolling I thought that God must not have heard me because my day was a tangled mess of double booked appointments for Miles, then cancelled appointments, chasing down insurance cards and somehow grocery shopping in the middle of that.

Since we have moved into our new home I have not received Miles' monthly insurance cards in the mail. This is a big problem! This means that the first time in the month that he has an appointment outside of the home I have to go to the insurance office and have them make me a temporary card. I can only do this on the day of an appointment. This always makes everything a little more tricky. I have filled out a change of address twice and my husband has done it once in the insurance office, but the cards still didn't come to our house. Finally someone from the office told me that I had to go to the Social Security office to change his address because he is disabled. That's why I wasn't getting his cards at my house. Well, the Social Security Office is no place to drop in quickly and get out. I mean, you need to pack a lunch (not that you can eat in there but you get the point.) It takes forever!

So, I decide today is the day I will go there because I had to cancel one of Miles' appointments today because the office would not take a temporary card. I was determined to go and just wait out the crowd. I got a babysitter for the kids, grabbed a card making kit that I got from my Secret Sister yesterday (thank you) and off I went. Before I could go there I had to chase down Randy at his office and get some legitimate mail to prove that I live where I live. Of course that was in total opposite direction of where I needed to be, but I pressed through.

So, I get to the SS office and it was packed! I went to the automated 1st window and had to explain to the touch computer screen what I needed. The computer told me to wait while it printed me a number. He gave me B248. I found a seat and began to pull out my card making stuff. At first I was a little self conscience, but then I thought...Hey, at least I'm not bored. I quickly got into it and I was excited that I was using my waiting time so well.

While I was sitting there I was eaves dropping (one of my favorite past times). I was listening to a grandmother speaking to a nurse that was in front of her. The grandmother was telling her about how her daughter had been very sick. They chatted for awhile before the nurse was called up to the window with a real person in it.

That left the grandmother, her husband and her grandson to talk. I didn't hear anything they were saying but I caught myself praying for the young man. He was about 15. I kept seeing him lay his head on his grandmother's shoulder and she would rub his head kindly. The grandpa had a sweet smile and he kept making the boy laugh. I figured that the grandparents were raising the young man and I began to pray that they would raise him in a way that he would be able to function well as an adult.

Well, I was a busy bee making my cards when the grandparents number was called. B241. "Bingo" the grandma called. I couldn't help but smile at her. As soon as the grandparents got up the young man looked at me and said, "I never thought we were going to be here so long!" I told him that I had a feeling I would be that's why I brought along a project. After I said that he got up out of his seat and came to sit by me. That's when he began to tell me about his Mom. She died just last week of a massive heart attack. She was sick her whole life and she already had 5 heart attacks before the last one. She was in and out of hospitals for so long, and she finally told her husband that she didn't want to go anymore. My heart was broken for him. First of all I was so amazed that he would come over to me and tell me these things. I felt so honored. I sat there and cried while he told me about his Mom and his last week with her. I asked him his name and he said it was Josh. I told Josh that I would be praying for him all day. He had the softest face and thanked me wholeheartedly. He told me that his Mom was full of faith. He also told me that last week he spent most of his time in the chapel. The doctors finally showed his family his Mom's brain scan and her brain was dead. She was on life support and they had to decide to keep her on it or to take her off. He said, "I didn't want to make that decision so I told God that he was going to have to make that call, and He did. Pretty soon after that she died." I just kept saying, "Oh, Sweetheart. I'm so sorry." I never call anyone sweetheart. I even surprised myself by saying it, but I figured it was what the Lord wanted me to say. Then he told me something amazing. He said, "I know people might think I'm crazy but I told the Lord I would like to have one more conversation with my Mom." He knew that her brain was dead but he wanted to talk to her one more time. He said that after he prayed that she was totally alert and looking at him and they were able to have their own conversation together. He said that her face was totally normal and she was talking to him. She didn't look sick at all. Soon after that she died.

Here I am crying for him, having no answers or words of wisdom, but deep compassion for him and his family. His grandparents were done with their business. They had gone up there to terminate the Mom's insurance since she had died. As they were leaving I grabbed his hand and told him again that I would be praying for him. He thanked me so warmly that I can't get his sweet face out of my head.

As soon as his foot hit the door my number was called B248. Bingo! I thought. Not because it was my turn, but because God had been Master of my day.


OKay. all the time I hear from many of you, "Oh, I read your blog and ________." BUT you don't comment. I LOVE the comments! I'm not saying that you should comment on every post you read, but for the ones that stick out to you I would appreciate a comment on them. Call me praise hungry, I am. When I know people are reading this it makes me want to write more.

My Spencer

This was too cute not to jot down.

This morning as I was leaving the house to take the boys to school I noticed that Spencer's pants were big and I thought about having him change but we were going to be late so I just sent him to the car. Well, I didn't think too much about it, but after school I noticed that he was walking around the house while holding up his pants. I said, "Spencer, did you have trouble with your pants at school today?" He said that he did. I took a look and he had on Joey's pants and RANDY'S belt! I asked him why he had that on and he just shrugged his shoulders. That belt went around him twice. I asked him if he went to the bathroom while at school and he smiled really big and said, "Only once!"

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Thought you might get a kick out of this!

I made dinner tonight and Randy's brother came over to eat with us. He also brought along a movie for us to watch. After dinner Randy and I were cleaning off the table and his brother asked if he could go ahead and put the movie in. We said yes, and a minute later he said, "Hey, why won't this DVD player open?" I sent Joey in the living room to help him, and Randy said, "Yeah, send in our eight year old son to help his Mechanical Engineer Uncle work the DVD player!"

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Rule Breakers

Well, I decided that I didn't want to write about all the seizure activity. It frazzles my brain just thinking about it all. Here's what I've decided about seizures:

There's nothing natural about seizures.

You know the English rule that says, "I before E except after C."

Well, seizures don't even follow that rule! They are unnatural rule breakers and I don't like them one bit!

Jocie is so Mature These Days.

This morning I picked out a shirt for Jocie to wear to Mother's Day Out. When she put the shirt on she said, "This is too big for me." I looked at the shirt and I told her it looked fine. She thought it was too low cut. It was lower on her chest than her other shirts but I thought it was just fine. Well, I was making breakfast and she came in and said, "Look at this shirt. It's too big for me." Again, I told her it was fine and that it matched her pants so I sent her on her way. Then, I was signing the boy's folders when she came in and said, "The kids are going to laugh at me!" Finally, I told her that I would get her a new shirt. I went with her to her room and handed her a pink sweater. She put it on and said, "Good. This one doesn't show my nipples. I don't like shirts that show my nipples." She was so cute and serious! I will remind her in a few years that she doesn't like shirts that show her nipples.