Monday, December 14, 2009

Melody's List

Melody made me a grocery list this weekend. It's so cute. She spelled the words the way they sound. A couple of the spellings are so cute. She spelled waffles "WOFLSZ." She added weiner dogs and spelled it "WEN A DOGS" She even added Beer to the list and spelled it "BER." I think my favorite was when she put Snacks for Kids and spelled it "DEZZERTS FOR CIEDS."

Cute Cute Cute.

If you click on the picture you can see the detail better.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

MY Top 10

Today I was walking around Target with Miles and I found something I could have spent a fortune on! I came upon the Christmas Movie Section. I love Christmas Movies!!! I also LOVE Christmas music. Randy doesn't like either one of those! Anyway, I didn't buy anything. I just decided to share my Top 10 with you.

MY #1. I love this movie! National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. My favorite part of this movie is...well, ALL of it! Clark makes me laugh at everything he does!!!

MY #2. A Christmas Story. My favorite part is when Ralphie freezes up when he sees Santa but then stops himself from going down the slide to tell Santa that he wants a Red Rider BeBe gun then Santa tells him that he would shoot his eye out. I crack up every time Santa pushes him down the slide with his boot.

MY #3. ELF. I've watched this movie so many times. It just doesn't get old. It doesn't have to be Christmas time to watch this movie! There's too many favorite parts to list on this movie, but I like the "Something Special" he gives to his Dad.

MY #4. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. This movie reminds me of my Grandma Jody. I remember watching it on TV while I laid on her living room floor. I never wanted it to end. Also, I remember that when the Grinch's heart was too small I thought that must be what my Grandpa's problem was. hehehe

MY #5. Rudolph. Again, this reminds me of my Grandma Jody. She loved this movie, and she loved to buy us the figurines from this movie. Even the last couple of years she bought my brother and I things from the movie. As a kid I was scared of Bumbles. I was glad he got his tooth fixed.

MY #6. Mickey's Once Upon A Christmas. Yep, you guessed it. It reminds me of my Grandma Jody. Plus I love old Mickey Mouse stuff. It reminds me of being a kid. I still rent Mickey Mouse & Donald Duck at the library to watch with and without the kids. It just makes me happy.

MY #7. The Santa Clause 2. Okay, this is MY list and I can like this movie if I want to. 2 years ago the kids were sick and they had to stay home from school. It wasn't anywhere near Christmas time, but I went to Hollywood video and had the crazy idea of renting a bunch of Christmas movies for them to watch. We laid around all day cracking up over Christmas movies. This one was our favorite of the day and so it became special to me.

MY #8. A Charlie Brown Christmas. Yes, it reminds me of my Grandma. Plus, how can you talk about Christmas movies and not bring it up? It's a classic for anyone my age. I loved the Christmas tree he picked out. It was sweet.

MY #9. Frosty the Snowman. Classic. I remember thinking the same thing would happen to me when I made a snowman. Of course it's hard to make a real snowman in West Texas, but I remember not being disappointed that the snowman didn't come to life. I felt like it was alive it just couldn't talk to me. Anyway, it's a cute show.

MY #10 It's a Wonderful Life. I haven't seen it in so long, but I loved it even as a kid.

HONORABLE MENTION: Fred Clause. It only came out last year so it hasn't made my Top 10 yet, but as a family we really liked it. I personally think Vince Vaughn is SOOOO funny, but I don't like to watch many things he's in so it was nice to get to watch him in a kids movie. Funny Stuff.

So, there you have it. What's your favorite Christmas movie? Is there something I forgot? Are you having a hard time believing that my list would have The Santa Clause 2 movie before It's a Wonderful Life? Are you a Christmas movie hater like Randy? Let me know what you think.

Monday, November 16, 2009

With God All Things Are Possible...Even Joy.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

An ongoing trial has come to my life. For the last five years I have taken care of my son who has cerebral palsy, dystonia, cortical vision impairment, chronic hypothermia and brain damage. For a long time to consider my trial pure joy seemed unattainable. Yet, as my faith has continued to be tested I’ve felt the stretching and growth of perseverance developing in me.
There have been many times in the last five years that I would have traded “maturity, completeness & without lack” in a heartbeat. I’ve cried out to God several times for me to be able to see my son healed even if it meant that I didn’t finish the race I’ve been given to run. In the past I’ve been willing to give up my birth right for a bowl of soup. I’ve believed the lie that if Miles were healed that everything else in my life would be simpler and without heartache.
I’m not sure when it happened, but those are not things I feel anymore. At this time in my life I would not trade Miles’ healing for Perseverance’s lasting work. I would not want Miles’ healing out of God’s will and timing. I now refuse to give up my birth right for today’s fleeting pleasure. I now am sober to the fact that with this life comes trials and tribulations even when we’re right in the middle of God’s will.
Today I will not wrestle with God about the Why’s and the When’s. Instead when I take care of Miles I will consider it pure joy that my perseverance is well on it’s way to being made mature, complete and lacking in nothing.
Today, and for as long as it takes I will live in this tension where my son has brain damage and yet my God is a healer. I will consider this trial a joy. I will work as unto the Lord. I will continue to love Miles in a manor that honors God. As I go about the medical routine I will worship God by serving Miles. I will guard my heart from hopelessness. I will believe the best for Miles and continue to trust God with the desires of my heart.
Joy is not unattainable.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Hope. Process. Sum

I just left church.

Pastor Jimmy talked about Hope, The Process and the Sum at the End.

I feel like the hardened scab on my heart has been picked at.

He was talking about things we go through and how we focus on the Sum or the outcome that we’re wanting, but how there’s a process to everything. Also, he of course talked about how a hope deferred makes the heart sick. Basically, he was reading my mail.

He stirred up emotions in me that I haven’t felt in a while. He was talking about Hope in a different way than our culture views it. Today the word Hope is more like the word Wish. I Hope for something/I Wish for something. He was saying that the word Hope in the Bible is the stuff Faith is made out of it. It’s more like Expect.

He talked about how sometimes when our Hope/Expect is delayed over a long period of time that it can feel frustrating. Yeah, I agree.

He told a personal story of how him and his wife had been married for a long time when they decided that they wanted to have a child of their own. His wife couldn’t have babies anymore so they began praying for a way to adopt a baby. He started ticking off the years: 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years and nothing. No baby. He even began working in a place with fosters kids and adoptions going on around him and still no baby. 5 years and no baby.

As he started ticking off the years I felt my heart breaking. The foundations of my “doing okay walls” began to shake in it’s weak foundation. I had a desire to scream out that I knew what he was talking about.

Year six came around for him and he spoke about being able to be in the room when his daughter that he was going to adopt was being born. It was so beautiful. They had waited six years for her and today she turned 9 years old.

Hope. Process. Sum.

Today was the first day of the series he’s starting about Exodus and the “process.” I think he said it’s the first of the next five weeks. I guess I have a choice of holding my hand over the wound of my heart and just go through the motions of church for the next five weeks or I can allow Hope to be restored again in the area of Miles’ healing.

Monday, October 19, 2009


Dearest Quiet,
Oh, how I’ve missed you. Thank you for returning to me. We’ve haven’t been together for so long. Things have been so busy. The kids have been taking turns being sick. When they’re home you just don’t come around. This morning as I dropped off the last kid at school I felt a little giddy about our date. I sure wasn’t disappointed this morning when we finally got together. You treated me just right. I’m glad you didn’t bring me flowers and chocolate. I could buy that stuff for myself anytime. I really enjoyed your gifts of peace and the ability to have a clear thought. That was very kind of you.
Our time is about to be over, but I’m hoping that we can get together again very soon!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Got any ideas?

Well, here’s the brutal truth.

As of today I weigh more than I ever have before.

I weigh more than I did on the way to the hospital to deliver any of my babies.

My youngest “baby” is now five years old.

That is shocking information to process. Maybe not too hard for you to process because let’s face it…you can tell. It’s just hard for me to process because I’m the one that has to do something about it,

I feel totally overwhelmed. I don’t know where to begin. I’m scared of failing for the 1000th time.

Got any ideas on how to lose weight?

Here’s some things that I’ve been thinking I need:

• A plan that WILL work!
• And I mean fast!
• Something that I can do for the rest of my life.
• It needs to be easy. You know…not use up too much brain power.
• If possible I would still like to eat what I want. ☺
• I would like to be able to go to restaurants and still be able to stick to the diet.
• I would like for everyone I know to be on the same plan as me so we could encourage each other to stick to the plan.
• I don’t want to take medicine that makes me feel crazy.
• I also need a good plan for exercising that I can do at the house.
• I would like to see instant results.
• I would like all this to be cheap or free.

Okay, so I know one or two of these isn’t going to work out for me. If so...I would already be skinny.

Do you have any ideas on what I could do to get started. And don’t say exercise and eat healthy. I’ve been ignoring that all my life.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


I watched two precious kids for a friend of mine today. They’re ages 1 and 2. I watched and marveled at all they could do. When my babies were young of course I enjoyed and bragged about their milestones. I was excited for the day but always in a hurry for the next one to come. I was always looking forward to what came next. I don’t think I took for granted what they could do for the day but I didn’t realize what a miracle each milestone really is.

In less than a week Miles will turn five years old.
There are so many many milestones that I’ve never seen him do.
I’ve watched and waited for five years for things that have never arrived.
I’ve longed and prayed for that special word “mama” to pass through his lips but it’s never made it through.
I’ve desired to see him sit and play on the floor with toys like I saw those two kids do today.

Intentional eye contact, reaching out for me, sitting up, crawling, walking, throwing a fit, potty training, climbing into bed with me, holding a toy, sneaking into the pots and pans, chasing his brothers and sisters, wrestling with his Poppa, feeding himself, fighting bedtime…hugging me. Those things have never come.

Even so my heart longs for them.

I want to trade tube feeds and medicine cocktails in the morning & evening for all those things. I want to trade Dr. appointments and breathing treatments for those precious milestones. I want to trade medical supplies and handicap accessibility for them.

God made our bodies so miraculously. He made them work in such an amazing way. Our brains are probably the most intricate things on the planet. It’s amazing what you can’t do if yours doesn’t work.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Joey's English Paper

Joey wrote a small paper for English and I thought it was cute. Here it is:

Joey Wilson

Lesson Learned

My little brother Spencer had received his first pocketknife. It was red and had two blades. He was so excited until he was almost was shocked. The same day he got his knife he put the knife right in front of the outlet. I saw him so I kicked him out of the way. I ran to tell my parents and explained to them what happened. They said that he was not allowed to have a pocketknife any longer. So they took it away from him. Since then he has always blamed me for not being able to own a pocketknife. I tell him that it’s not my fault, but he refuses to believe it’s his fault. Anyway, I know it’s not my fault. The lesson I learned is that even though you can try to help someone it doesn’t mean they will appreciate the help.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Hobby Blobby (that's what Randy calls it)

I don't know that I LOVE SCRAPBOOKING but I do enjoy it.

I would like to "enjoy" it more often.

It seems like there's never enough time to do it. Everyone once in awhile I will get together with Rachel and crank out a few pages, but that's the extent of my scrapbooking.

If I had unlimited time, resources and instant digital photos mailed to me THEN I would be sure to scrapbook to my heart's content.

What hobby do you love but never seem to find enough time for?

Friday, September 04, 2009

Wow! Really?

I had to go over to Hendrick Medical Supply yesterday to exchange some syringes that were wrong AGAIN! I didn’t mind too much. I was having a good attitude about it, but when the woman at the front desk saw me and what I was there for AGAIN she just cringed. I think she’s as amazed at their incompetence as I am sometimes.

Anyway, I handed her the big bag of syringes and she said (referring to the person that got the wrong syringes), “They’re so retarded.”

To which I replied excitedly, “Oh, do you hire retarded people here because my son is retarded and he will need a job someday.”

That’s when she crapped her pants.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

The Search

Looking for a church home.
Church shopping.
Hunting for a new church,
Looking for the place God wants us to be.
Looking for a place to serve.
Searching for a place to plug in.
Finding a new body of believers.

However you want to say it…we still don’t know where we’re going to church.

We’ve tried a few places. Before we began the adventure Randy and I both separately thought that we should try two places: South Side Baptist and Morning Star Community Church. From that it would seem that one of two places would be our new church home, but we still don’t know.

We’ve been to South Side 3 times. Morning Star twice and last week we went to The Mission. So, that makes 6 weeks since we haven’t had a church family. After 10 years at the same church that’s a pretty shocking life style change.

So, we’ve been going to these churches and almost as soon as we hit the door the question is asked, “So what did you think?” Of course we’ve been praying about it, and we don’t want to go where we “think” is good. We clearly want God’s direction in this decision but it’s a totally human thing to dissect and discuss such matters.

We’ve been going to lunch after church which is funny because we didn’t do that when we went to Clyde. We used to drive through a place or pick up lunch and take it home but we hardly ever went to a restaurant after church. I think it’s because it already took so long to get ready, drive out there, be at church, chat forever and then drive home that by the time we hit town we just wanted to get home, peel off our clothes and take a nap.

In these last six weeks we’ve been doing something new. When we get to the car I get out a piece of paper and ask everyone where they want to go. One by one they give me their vote and I write it on a slip of paper. When that’s done one person gets to draw and whatever place it says on the paper is where we get to go. Even if it’s CiCi’s and I hate that place we still go. Don’t mind me. I’m probably just bitter because I still haven’t won yet.

So, not only is church different, but Sunday lunch is different, we’re going to different places so our Sundays are totally different, and to top it all off Randy has decided that he likes shopping after lunch. Crazy! So, we go hang out at a store until we’re ready to go home. It’s all been very delightful.

During this time between walking outside of the church we tried and before we go home from shopping we discuss “what we think” about the church we went to.

Here’s the break down.

Oh, you didn’t think I’d give you all the juicy details today did you?

No way! I’ve gotta keep you comin’ back for more!

Soon I’ll write about our adventures of Charismania to Conservative Baptist.

In the mean time. Please keep praying for us!

Monday, August 31, 2009

My attempt at not being a sell out...

I’ve been contemplating the death of blogging. It doesn’t seem right that Facebook and Twitter could be a sustainable trade for blogging.
A friend of mine recently said, “Facebook killed the radio star.” While I don’t exactly understand it, I whole heartily agree.
How is that a one liner, written sarcastically in the third person can replace an authentic peek into someone’s life and mind?


Be a replacement for:
Four of the kids spent the night with Mom the other night. It was a much needed break for me. Summer had chewed me up that week and spit me out. I was ready for a relaxing evening doing anything but answering a millions questions and listening to anything besides repetitive video game music. I dropped off the kids at Mom’s and was so pleased that she had great plans for the kids. It was their last summer hurrah so she had the girls bring their play dishes because they were going to have a tea party. Mom had mini cheesecakes thawing. My nephews were already there and dying for my boys to get there. My boys had brought their video games and Mom had already made up a “Boys Room” where they could play video games and be as loud as they want. She was preparing to make hamburgers and asked what Randy and I were doing for dinner to which I replied, “Not eating here!” No offense to her hamburgers but I was not interested in being around the kid’s excited energy when I had all the wonderful silence waiting for me at home.
So I left and I was excited for the kid’s and their fun and myself with my nothingness.
I went home and returned to a book I had begun reading about a sarcastic post-Jehovah’s witness that grew up never being able to buy things at garage sales because her “fellowship” believed that demons attached themselves to things at garage sales. The book was hilarious and a bit spooky because of all the demon talk so I was already a little jumpy when the phone rang.
It was my Mom saying, “You’ve got to come and get Spencer and take him to the hospital. He’s hurt. I’m sure he needs stitches.” Then she HUNG UP. No, I’m not kidding. That was the call. I didn’t know what was wrong. I knew she couldn’t take him because she didn’t have enough seats in her car. I also knew it was not ambulance worthy, but still there’s a big gap between taking one to the hospital and ambulance. Well, I called my mother in law (she lives two doors down) and basically said that same thing to her except instead of “you have to take Spencer to the hospital” I asked if she would take care of Miles for me. After she said yes I left the house and didn’t wait for her to get here.
On my way to my Mom’s I tried to get a hold of Randy but his phone was dead. As I was driving I passed him on Butternut so he ended up following me over to Mom’s house.
When we got there our tough boy wasn’t crying. He had several kids hovering over him and his leg was resting in Mom’s lap. She had a white dishrag wrapped over his foot. When we got closer she removed the rag and the top of his foot was sliced open and stretched apart. It was cut through to the fat.
All the kids began to tell me the whole story. I could see that Jocie had been crying. She’s so sensitive to other people’s pain. I could also see that Spencer had been crying. His face was swollen and splotchy. Randy picked up his big boy and carried him to the truck.
The boys had been playing out side while Mom was cooking hamburgers on the grill and she was yelling at them to get their shoes on. The punch line of the whole story is that Spencer was going inside to get his shoes on when he sliced his foot open on Grammy’s door.
So, we take him to the ER because it’s after hours at his pediatrician’s office. I figure my glorious evening of nothingness is long gone because it’s being traded for hours of waiting in the ER. I was pleasantly wrong. We were out of there in an hour with fantastic service and a $5 co-pay for his insurance which will run out today.
We dropped him back off at Mom’s with 6 stitches and a cheering welcome from all the other kids. Randy and I ended up eating hamburgers with all the kids and Mom and still had silence to go back home to.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

It's almost here!

Just took the kids to orientation at their school so they could take their supplies, meet their teacher, check out their classroom and so I could fill out a ton of paperwork. I love Cornerstone so much! I’m very thankful they get to go there. God has been faithful to provide money to send them there.
I would love to work there full time but I’m just not able to do that with Miles at this time. I am going to work up there one day a week though. Miles is going to go with me. I’m excited about that. I will mainly be helping behind the scenes for the Kindergarten class. I’ll be writing all their names on papers, getting work together for the following week, cutting stuff out, doing a lot of prep work, grading papers…that kind of stuff. When I finish with that I’ll be doing help for 1st grade and then some office stuff. I’m excited about all this. It’s my favorite kind of work! Plus I’ll be substituting when they need me. I’ve already got a couple of days next month that I’ll be subbing for Kindergarten.

I’m so excited about school starting (and not because the kids will be gone.) I’m excited because it’s something new. I’m ready for the new school year!!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Jocie's mint

Jocie was eating a mint but she kept taking it in and out of her mouth. I told her that she needed to either keep it in her mouth or throw it away. She held out the mint and said, "It tastes like an unrefreshing Pepsi that's been sitting outside on a hot day like today!!"

Then she popped it in her mouth and said, "Oh, it's better now."

That girl cracks me up.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Needed To Blog Something

We’re still looking for a church. We’ve now visited South Side twice and Morning Star once. Randy and I really like South Side. Joey really likes Morning Star. Jocie wants to try New Hope. Melody likes South Side because her friends go there & she likes Morning Star because she can get prizes. Spencer would rather sleep in on Sundays than to go to church. So, we’re still undecided. Randy and I previously agreed that we would continue to alternate until we knew where we’re supposed to go. So, that’s what we’re doing. It’s been an exciting change. The transition couldn’t have gone smoother. I’m so thankful for the way it all went down. I’m so thankful that Brandon released us the way he did.

School is about to start. One week and three days. I’ve enjoyed our summer together. It’s gone by so fast. We’ve been staying up until 1 in the morning and sleeping in until 10. I’m going to miss that. I love that kind of sleeping schedule. Spencer, Jocie and Melody are returning to Cornerstone this year. I’m happy about that. I love that school. Joey is going to public middle school at Madison. Today I took him to orientation and the staff seemed really nice and organized. I think it made me feel a little better. I’ve had a hard time adjusting to the fact that he’s going there. He’s going from knowing every single person in his school to not knowing one person. Today the counselor told me that there will be 280 sixth graders there this year! I’ve decided to trust the Lord in this matter and believe that he will protect Joey and continue to show him favor.

Miles will be staying home again this year. My flesh tries to freak out every once in awhile and scare me about Miles’ unknown future, but I have combating that with the fact that for today, this year, I enjoy taking care of all his needs and that it’s a blessing to be able to stay at home and take care of him. He could go to school but I don’t feel good about that yet and I’m thankful that I’m able to stay home with him. I never knew I would enjoy doing all the medical things I do for him. We could definitely have a full time nurse for him, but I’m glad we don’t.

Randy’s business has been doing well. This year is already so much better than last year! He’s staying so busy that I usually don’t know where he’s working on any given day. He’s got a website now. It’s You should check it out. He has three guys working for him. He’s flipping a house by ours, doing a huge addition to one home and several smaller jobs all at the same time. The add on that he’s doing is a 1500 square foot addition to a 1300 square foot house.

Me…I feel like I’ve been on hold all summer. I haven’t done any writing which isn’t good. There hasn’t seem to be a ton of time to write but even more than that I don’t think I’ve been able to hear myself think this summer. The kids talk to me all day long and there’s always something to do. I’m not complaining about that. It’s just a fact. Writing requires thinking and thinking hasn’t been a luxury lately. I’m excited to have some quiet in the house when the kids go back to school and focus on getting some writing done. It’s important.

I’m looking forward to the quiet, the freedom to be able to go where ever I want to doing the day, the schedule of a school routine, going to lunch with friends while the kids are in school, drinking coffee and writing at the kitchen table and watching God continue being so extravagantly faithful to us.

What are you looking forward to?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Big News for Us.

Big News for Us.

Wow. I can hardly believe it myself, but to rip it off like a band-aid I will just say it. Our family is going to be trying other churches. We’ve been going to Trinity/Kingdom Life Fellowship for over 10 years now. That’s amazing to me! It’s the only church our kids have known. That’s probably why two of them cried when we told them what we’re going to do. (Joey & Jocie)

Here’s the great thing: We’re not offended. We’re not upset with anything or anyone. We’re not disgruntle in any way.

We just feel like we’re suppose to go somewhere else. We don’t know if the change is because our family needs to be somewhere else or if somewhere else needs our family.

This is not an overnight decision by far! This is a year long process with a 6 month dragging of feet on my part and a month of absolute working of the Lord in a beautiful way! He has made his plan known and worked behind the scenes to make this as smooth of a transition as possible.

Today we were released by Brandon, our pastor to go and try new places. He totally understands why we’re leaving and the fact that we’re not upset in any way. He had the best attitude today and made us love and respect him even more for how mature he handled the situation. He told us to go and do what we’re supposed to do and if down the road we haven’t found what we’re looking for and we want to come back to KLF then we’re more than welcome and we’ll start off even better than we are now.

I feel so grateful that everything is going so smoothly. I love that we can leave in a way that’s not awkward. I can run into anyone at KLF and not be embarrassed for going another place. I love that relationships don’t have to end. I know they will change, but they won’t end.

Randy and I have talked a lot about this change and what our plans are. Separately we both had the same two churches that we wanted to try out. When we told each other our choices we were shocked to find out they were the same two churches. We want to try Morning Star and get this…South Side Baptist. I have NO idea where the South Side Baptist church came into play. I think that’s so interesting! Maybe God’s up to something silly! ☺ I’m not sure where we will try this coming Sunday but I’ll keep you posted.
There’s no way to begin to explain how much the people of Kingdom Life Fellowship means to Randy and I. We love the people there. We have real and honest relationships with most of the people. I have loved doing life with them and I’m so thankful that for several people that will continue even though we’re not going to be going to the same church. I only have wonderful and tender things to say about that church body. They’ve loved, served, sacrificed, prayed for, cried for and laughed with our family.

I will miss worshipping our God together.

Good news is that we will get to do that for all eternity together!

Please pray that God will put us right where he wants us and we will have a place to serve Him.


Here's some cute United photos. I love that store. I don't go there very often because their prices are higher, but it's so refreshing to shop there every once in awhile. Everything is so fresh and clean. The kids enjoy it too.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

What do ya think?

I was helping Randy with his website and he needed a good paragraph for the home page explaining what he can do. How does this sound?

Do you need a home?

I can build one for you.

I have skills.

Oh, you don’t need a home, but your kitchen floor looks like crap?

I can fix that too.

What? You’re in laws are moving in?

I can make that situation a whole lot smoother with a nice add on where your in laws can’t hear you screwing their daughter.

Call me.

I’ll hook you up!

Monday, July 06, 2009

Sharon's Testimony

Randy’s Mom Shirley was looking through some of her things and she found a letter that her daughter Sharon had written back in 1986. Sharon was the mother of Amanda who had cerebral palsy like Miles. I thought you might like to hear the letter. It’s very encouraging.

I’m writing you this letter because I’m wide awake & so happy I don’t know what to do!
Tonight, like any other night in my life, I lay awake thinking, & for the first time ever I realized something. Our God is real!!! Something else too. He is powerful beyond belief!
For 2 months I prayed every night & day, saying, “Please God, take away everything I’ve ever had or am going to get & this Christmas, please take away Amanda’s seizures forever!” I said, “I know you can” but boy did I doubt & on Christmas day, Amanda had worse seizures & crying fits than she’s ever had & on Christmas night I’m ashamed to say that I bawled for hours saying, “Why should I pray to or believe or serve a God who can’t even heal my daughter?” And you know Mom, this almighty, powerful God could have struck me dead right then but He said, “Sharon, all you have to do it believe. Nothing you can do will heal her.”
The next morning I woke up with a real peaceful feeling & I know you know…but HE DID IT! He took them away!
What happened tonight is that he knocked me down with the realization that this ‘God” the true God, only had to speak & it was real. Please praise Him for this! And not only for this because I know that was only the beginning! Praise Him for her eyes, ect. for He deserves it.
I have never felt so awed!! I have to serve Him, for He is good!
I love you,

Amanda never did have a seizure again. She went from having several painful seizures a day to having zero without medication. As a young boy Randy (remember that his brothers and sisters were a lot older than him) prayed and believed with Sharon those two months that Amanda would not have any more seizures after Christmas. He got to see God do a miracle.

That letter was encouraging to me, and I hope it was to you.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

My Dream

I had a dream last night that I was passing by a shop window and I saw my Grandma Jody in there. She had on her dark blue dress with the black scarf around the collar that she used to wear when she would dress up. She had the biggest smile on her face. She looked absolutely radiant.
I looked at the sign and noticed that it was a scrapbook place. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I didn’t know how she could be there, and she never did scrapbook herself. She loved mine and would always want to look at them.
Anyway, I went inside the shop and a woman greeted me at the door that actually does own a scrapbook store here in town. The shop looked amazing! It was so big! Everything was organized and colorful. Twinkling lights were hung and dangling from the ceiling. I noticed that they must be having a special theme night because the owner and a few of the other people were wearing grass skirts and had flowers on.
I saw my Grandma Jody sitting at a big round table and she looked so comfortable in her skin. It made my heart full of joy to see her so happy and it ached at the same time at how much I’ve missed her.
I ran to her but when I got to her she wasn’t there anymore. She was over by a paper rack. When I got to the paper rack she wasn’t there.

About the time in my dream that I realized I was in heaven I woke up.

Now, I’ve read the Bible from leather cover to leather cover, and I never saw anything about the great Scrapbook Store in the Sky, but all things are possible. There may just be one and if so my Grandma Jody is finally able to sit down and do something for herself, which I guess is scrapbooking.

My whole life I remember my Grandma Jody’s plans to get her photos in order. She would recruit me every couple of years to get me to put her pictures in order. She always wished that she had labeled them better. She always made a new resolution to get her pictures in order. This woman took a lot of pictures! Believe me I know! I was the one that organized them all after she died. There were 8 plastic tubs of photos.

So Jody, if you’re up there in heaven scrapbooking, do a page of me and you together. Know that as long as I live nothing will fill this void in my heart where you’ve been since I was born. I think of you more times in the day that I ever knew was possible. Your memories are all around me. My heart aches to see you all the time. And, in case I never told you…I love your blue dress.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I am more than a conquerer.

Surely there has to be something to talk about right?


Well, I guess I'll brag on my laundry skills. Maybe I should change that to the laundry skills that God has given me.

Many of you know that for about 4 years I didn't do our own laundry. Candy and David did it and it was magical.

Candy began weaning me in January and then in March I had to start doing it all on my own.

It felt tragic, and I went through a bit of mourning.

It was so overwhelming. I didn't know how it was possible to get it all done every week.

Well, after making a huge mess with it and one week spending the whole week digging out of baskets I made a declaration. I said, "Lord, may it never be again!" I heard an agreement from Randy in the bathroom.

Since then it's been supernatural! For about 2 months now there's not been a week that the laundry was not ALL washed, dried and PUT AWAY.

Dare I say it...I've actually enjoyed it! There's a rhythm and organization to it that I've grown to like. It's such an accomplishment to get a family of seven's laundry all finished and put away. It feels so good.

I've been staying home on Thursdays and getting it all done. It's a huge chore, but it feels like victory!

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Medical Supply Drama

I don’t get it.

I just don’t understand it.

Why is it that I cannot find a medical supply company that will just do what it’s supposed to do and when it’s supposed to do it?


Miles gets about $1,200 worth of stuff every month in medical supplies alone. That’s big money coming in for a company and yet he’s not a priority.

I was using a company out of Houston that sent his supplies by UPS. It was a great company called Medco. I used them for quite a while, but there was a major problem between the company and Miles’ pediatrician. Every 6 months all the supplies had to be resubmitted to the insurance company which required lots of paperwork done in a very particular way. For some reason Medco and Dr. Wiley’s office never could get all the right X’s signed so Miles went without several times.

I liked the company but decided that I needed to switch to a local company so if all else failed I could go to the medical place in person or the doctors place in person to make sure all was signed correctly.

I decided to go with Hendrick Medical Supply because it’s with the same hospital as Dr. Wiley. This seemed to be the logical choice. Before I did anything I called Hendrick Supply and told them everything that Miles was getting from Medco. I asked them if it was possible for them to order the same things. “No problem.” Okay, then I asked them about their communication was between them and Dr. Wiley. “No problem.” As a matter of fact they said they had a liaison that went back and forth to offices to make sure all paperwork was signed just right so that wouldn’t be a problem. The lady I talked to was so nice and helpful. She was positive that all would be easy and taken care of.

So, I made the switch. I called Medco and told them that our weekly phone chats about “Where the hell is my son’s stuff?” was over. Of course I didn’t put it that way. I let them off gently like, “It’s not you. It’s me.” No, not really. I told them the complete truth. They tried to keep me, but I had made my mind up.

It’s a good thing that I made the switch when I did because less than a month after I called them to cancel Miles’ stuff the hurricane hit in Houston. There’s no way that he would have been able to get anything from that company.

So anyway, there I was excited about the prospect of a smooth sailing local company that knew Miles’ pediatrician personally and one that seemed to have it all together.

Well, I’ve been dealing with this company since the end of last summer and it’s not been all love and bliss like I thought it would be.

Every single month there’s been some kind of glitch. I don’t think there’s ever been a time when all his supplies were delivered one time without something being left out. I know they haven’t ever come without me calling them to ask, “Where the hell are my son’s supplies?” Of course I didn’t say that…YET.

On the phone and in person the people at Hendrick Medical Supply are so nice. They’re pleasant to talk to and they promise to send supplies, or call back or check on whatever you’re asking them to check on, but they never come through. There’s no follow through. They don’t send supplies when they say they will or if they do then the order is not complete, they’ve never called me back when they said they would and they do not check on what they say they will check on.

I’ve called and talked directly to the person who is supposed to be in charge of Miles’ account. I’ve gone up there with Miles so they could be wooed by his charm as I explained why I need these supplies on time. I’ve called them monthly a few days before his supplies were to be delivered to inform them that we will be needing everything. I’ve gone up there to pick up the supplies myself, but the complete order was still not there.

I don’t get it. There’s no surprises on what Miles will need. They have the list. The list doesn’t change unless it’s been added to by the doctor and gone through insurance. It’s the same main supplies every month and they do not keep them in stock. Why? As a $1,200 a month patient I would think they could keep his supplies pre-ordered.

I’ve thought about switching companies again, but it’s such a pain and there are no guarantees. Am I going to have the same monthly headache with another company?

Here’s what Miles gets every month:
10 packages of Huggies size 5
4 Right Angle Feeding tubes 18 French
1 Suction canister
2 Suction tubing 18 inches
30 Top fill bags for night feeds
1 Nebulizer mask
2 Packages of underpads
4 Bolus feeding sets 18 French
2 Suction tubing 6 inches
1 Nebulizer kit
1 Yaunkauer tapered bulbous suction handle
2 Packages of cleansing cloths
1 Decompression tube 18 French
8 Syringes 10 cc
8 Syringes 20 cc
120 cans of Pediasure with Fiber

To get this accurate list I had to compile 3 partial lists that I’ve received from Hendrick Medical Supply. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been nice and professional with them, but I’m so aggravated that they can’t seem to get their stuff in order.

Any suggestions?

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Who Knew There Was A Difference?

Okay Pam…You picked #3. Of course you did. Who doesn’t enjoy a good embarrassing story…when it’s not your own of course.

BOYS, you’re not allowed to read this one.

Now you really want to know don’t cha!

Here’s my most embarrassing story about myself.

It happened when I was pregnant with someone. I’m pretty sure it was Miles but it could have been Melody. I’m really thinking it was Miles. I had an appointment to go see my OB doctor. It was somewhere in the middle of my pregnancy where the appointments are a little boring. Well, if it’s your fifth pregnancy it’s boring. I don’t know why I have to go to an appointment, wait for 2 hours to see the doctor, be tortured on the scale, listen to the heartbeat and then schedule another appointment for 4 more weeks. Come on! Why can’t I just weigh myself at home, lie to them about my weight gain when I get there, slap on some cold jelly on my own stomach and then listen to the heartbeat myself? If I have further questions then I could just shoot the doc a text on my own time.

Aw, I digress.

Anyway, so I knew I had an appointment that day. As I recall it was summer because I had to get a babysitter for all my other kids to go to the appointment. Several times I took the other kids with me, but the doctor made it a habit of walking into the little room with me and all my kids and saying, “Wow. It looks like a daycare center in here.” Then to my shock he would always follow that up with asking me, “Who are all these kids?” “Are you kidding?” I would wonder. They’re mine! “Um, helloooo…You’ve delivered a couple of these kids.”

That doctor was strange. He could always remember Randy’s name, what Randy did for a living and where Randy used to work, but he had trouble remembering that we had a million kids and one more on the way.

I digressed again.

Okay, focus.

I had the appointment, got the other kids with my mother in law and rushed to the doctor’s office for an early morning appointment so I could wait forever in the waiting room.

I did wait forever. Then I got the cold jelly stuff squeezed on my belly and had an enjoyable 7.4 seconds of bliss when I got to hear the baby’s heartbeat. Then shock and horror came upon me when the nurse said, “Go ahead and take off your clothes because the doctor has to blah blah blah blah to check your blah blah blah.” I can’t remember what the doctor had to check because all I could think was, “WHAT?” The thing is that I just thought it was a normal in and out appointment so…I didn’t bother taking a shower that morning!!!

Now I didn’t have anything crazy going on down there, but my gosh! I like that area to be presentable if someone’s going to be poking around in the area.

Well, I got my clothes off and wrapped up in the cloth they gave me. I was sitting on the table and scheming on what in the world I could do. If I had brought the other kids then I would have had a diaper bag and I would have had access to diaper wipes. That would have been great, but I didn’t have any. That got me thinking though.

I hopped off the table and began rummaging in the all the drawers and cabinets for some paper towels that I could wet in the sink. No paper towels. There were tissues, but I didn’t want it to shed from being wet. Hmmm, I kept looking because I thought that I might find some moist toilettes’. Nope, but I did find some alcohol preps. “Sweet!” I thought.

I hurried up, opened the alcohol prep, wiped around very well and threw away the evidence. I jumped up on the table so my buns wouldn’t be showing when the doctor came in when all the sudden Fire was upon my Female part! It wasn’t a burning sensation! It was a pulsing burn. My face felt flushed and my heart began racing. I was just picturing the doctors reaction when he took a peek at my pulsing red you-know-what! I can’t actually say it was red because I was pregnant and couldn’t actually see it, but I’m pretty sure it had to be altered in color!

Well, I was pretty sure that the pain would pass quickly and I was just praying that the doctor was going to take his sweet time like usual! FIVE MINUTES LATER it was still burning!!! I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t know if I should stick my head out the door for a nurse and tell on myself or what. I decided to call Randy. When I told him what I did he couldn’t help but laugh at me. He said, “You used what?” He was shocked that I didn’t know there was a difference between a moist toilette and an alcohol prep. Excuse me but I missed the seminar!

He talked to me enough to get me calm. As I was on the phone things started to settle down there. My pulse slowed down, and to my advantage the doctor did take his own sweet time.

By the time he got to the blah blah blah part of the appointment all was right with the world. If he noticed that I was a little more disinfected than usual he never made mention of it. For that I’m eternally grateful.

And that’s my most embarrassing story & the reason I don’t ever want to be pregnant again. Well, one of many.

Next Topic

Okay, it was fun letting you pick.

I'll give you another three topics to choose from. They're not the same three topics. Maybe I'll come back to those. I like to keep it fresh ya know!

For the next post would you like to read about:

1. The story on how I got my only broken bone.

2. What I wanted to be when I grew up.

3. My most embarrassing story that boys should not read.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Rachel...You Picked #3

Here’s a quirk of mine…yes, apparently I have more quirks than the average human being or I’m just willing to share mine. Or, it’s possible that my friends just feel comfortable enough with me to point out all the weird stuff I do. That’s the case with this quirk.

Honestly I didn’t even think it was out of the ordinary, but three against one proved that it was strange. Well, I’m still not convinced, but they certainly were.

So, here’s a hint…

I don’t eat foods with the word Devil in the name.

That’s not weird is it?

I don’t see why in the world I would eat a food with the word Devil in it. It doesn’t make any sense to me. The kids see the little chocolate snack cakes and want to buy them, but if they’re called “Devil’s Food” then I won’t buy them. However, if the same little chocolate snack cake can be found without the name Devil then I don’t mind it. I thought most people felt the same way as me, but from the looks I got from Cherith, Amanda and Jennifer I could see that this was not true. I don’t know how we got on this topic, but they had quite the laugh about this one.

Also, I will not order any kind of dessert that is described as sinful, as in sinfully delicious. Even if the name is a play on the word Sin I won’t eat it. You know, like SINsationtional or SINnamon.

Chocolate SIN cake

Cardinal Sin Cake

So there...Quirk # Who Knows How Many.

You Pick

Okay, for my next post I'm giving you a choice on what you would like to read.

Would you like to read:

1. The birth story of one of my babies.

2. The story of how Randy and I met.

3. Another one of my crazy quirks.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Me & Mella

This morning I was getting ready for an appointment. I was sitting at my vanity and straightening my hair when Melody asked if we could play house. I told her that I didn’t want to play right now. Usually when we play house she’s the baby and I’m the Mommy. I know, it’s a stretch for me to play the Mommy, but I do what I can.

Anyway, I told her that I didn’t want to play at the moment and she said, “Please? I could be the baby and you could be the teenager that fixes her hair and never talks to me.”

“Okay” I said. “I can play.”

Thursday, May 21, 2009



It’s in our government.

It’s in our church.

It’s in our school.

More importantly to me…It’s going on all around me.

Don’t forget to breathe Brandi!

The Lord knows that I enjoy change. I don’t like the same ol’ thing all the time. I enjoy things to move & shake, but there’s just too much movin’ an’ a shakin’ goin’ on around me.

Nothing is particularly wrong with the changes. It’s just that there’s so many all at once.

Tomorrow is the last day of school for my kids. After that they’ll be at home all day everyday. That’s five children at home all day everyday. That’s five children trying to tell me something very important all day everyday. I actually enjoy summers with the kids. It’s just a big change in our life.

There’s no more baseball. Spencer’s season is over. I really enjoyed going to his games and even his practices.

My little Melody is graduating from Kindergarten in just a couple of hours. She’s my “Baby Lots.” How can she be big enough is be done with Kindergarten?

I’m not going to have my quiet time with Miles or myself during the day since it will be summer. It’s great for Miles because he has lots of interaction with the other kids, but at the same time I’m so distracted that I don’t feel like I ever get everything done for him that he needs. It’s always a struggle for me to attend to all his needs when I’m constantly pulled in several directions.

There’s no more Life Groups. We had a meeting Sunday where we were told that Life Groups are over. I’m fine with it. I kind of understand the meaning behind the decision. It’s just that Randy and I have been Life Group leaders for the last 7 or 8 years and now it’s not. That’s a pretty big change!

Changes at school have been made for next year. Of course those particular things don’t matter much until the Fall, but they still keep reminding me of their impending plans to mix things up.

I’m now involved with our personal finances. I haven’t been is many years. Randy needs my help now with our personal finances and with the business’. I’ve never been a part of the “paperwork” for his business, but he needs me to be now. This will be sort of like a work at home job for me. I’m excited about this change, but it’s just so far from where I’ve been for years.

Miles is going to have physical therapy at the house this summer because I’ll have all the rest of the kids with me. This means that I won’t be going to the rehab.

Possibly the biggest change, and perhaps the culprit for stirring up all my emotions is the fact that Joey’s last day at Cornerstone is tomorrow. He has outgrown the school. He will be in middle school next year. My first baby that I brought home from the hospital so many years ago is now eating an adult meal from the menu. He’s too big for Children’s Church. He’s almost as tall as me and he borrows his Poppa’s socks.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

Yes, that’s what it is that I feel…melancholy. Melancholy and sentimental.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Opinions Desired

I just read an article (it's attached) about a mom who now has a warrant out for her arrest because she's refusing to get court ordered chemo for her 13 year old son. Oh my gosh do I have an opinion about this!

This is crazy! How in the world can a court order someone to have chemo? How can a court demand a parent put THEIR child through chemo? I think that is totally their decision. I don't think it's the decision I would make, but I'm not in that situation. Their family believes in natural healing methods instead of modern medicine. I personally believe in both, but again, I'm not in their particular situation.

The judge is saying that the parents are "medically neglecting the child" by not getting chemo for his cancer.

For Miles, Randy and I have to prayerfully consider what to do and not to do for Miles medically. There have been things we've felt like is unnecessary & there have been things we've felt good about & there have been things I totally didn't want to do, but felt like we were supposed to do. Those were choices that Randy and I made for our son. I can't imagine being court ordered to do something for him! It totally offends me!

I know that courts and social services are good in situations were there's abuse and neglect in the food, water and shelter area. Those are basic needs that need to be met. I'm not arguing that. I just think that medical situations like this is a personal decision on treatments. I think individuals should have the right to choose treatment or not. Both the child and the parent doesn't seem to desire being treated and I don't think they should be forced to do so.

The mother and son are now in hiding. She's got a warrant out for her arrest and he's sick with cancer. What in the world?

The article says that his cancer is considered highly curable, but obviously not a guaranteed thing. What do you think? Should the parents be legally forced to make their child go through chemo? I totally want your opinion. I don't care if you don't agree with me. I'd just like to hear what you think about this situation.

Arrest ordered for mom of boy, 13, resisting chemo

By AMY FORLITI, Associated Press Writer
38 mins ago
NEW ULM, Minn. – Authorities nationwide were on the lookout Wednesday for a mother and her 13-year-old cancer-stricken son who fled after refusing the chemotherapy that doctors say could save the boy's life.
Colleen Hauser and her son, Daniel, who has Hodgkin's lymphoma, apparently left their southern Minnesota home sometime after a doctor's appointment and court-ordered X-ray on Monday showed his tumor had grown.
Brown County District Judge John Rodenberg, who had ruled last week that Daniel's parents were medically neglecting him, issued an arrest warrant Tuesday for Colleen Hauser and ruled her in contempt of court. Rodenberg also ordered that Daniel be placed in foster care and immediately evaluated by a cancer specialist for treatment.
The family belongs to a religious group that believes in "natural" healing methods. Daniel has testified he believed chemotherapy would kill him and told the judge that if anyone tried to force him to take it, "I'd fight it. I'd punch them and I'd kick them."
The boy's father, Anthony Hauser, testified he didn't know where his wife and son were but had made no attempt to find them. He testified he last saw his son Monday morning, and he saw his wife only briefly that evening when she said she was leaving "for a time."
As of Wednesday morning, the mother and son still had not been found, said Carl Rolloff, a sheriff's dispatcher.
Officials distributed the arrest warrant nationwide. Brown County Sheriff Rich Hoffman said Tuesday that investigators were following some leads locally, but declined to elaborate.
"It's absolutely crazy. It's very disappointing," James Olson, the attorney representing Brown County Family Services. "We're trying to do what's right for this young man."
A message left at the Hauser home in Sleepy Eye early Wednesday wasn't immediately returned. But in an interview in Wednesday's editions of the Star Tribune of Minneapolis, Anthony Hauser said he knew places where his wife might have gone though he did not know where she was.
He said he and his wife had a plan for Tuesday's hearing and he was a "bit disappointed" she didn't follow it. "We were going to present a treatment plan to the court. If they didn't go with it, we would appeal it," he told the newspaper.
"I know many people around here who have had cancer, they did the chemo, it would come back," Hauser told the newspaper. "They did the chemo again and again and they are all in the grave. Chemo isn't foolproof."
Olson, the family services lawyer, had considered asking the judge to hold Anthony Hauser in contempt as well, but he said Wednesday he decided against that.
"I'm thinking that he probably doesn't know where his wife and child are," Olson said.
Daniel's Hodgkin's lymphoma, diagnosed in January, is considered highly curable with chemotherapy and radiation, but the boy quit chemo after a single treatment.
The judge has said Daniel, who has a learning disability and cannot read, did not understand the risks and benefits of chemotherapy and didn't believe he was ill.
The Hausers are Roman Catholic and also believe in the "do no harm" philosophy of the Nemenhah Band, a Missouri-based religious group that believes in natural healing methods advocated by some American Indians. Colleen Hauser testified earlier that she had been treating his cancer with herbal supplements, vitamins, ionized water and other natural alternatives.
The founder of Nemenhah, Philip Cloudpiler Landis, said it was a bad idea for Colleen Hauser to flee with her son. "You don't solve anything by disregarding the order of the judge," Landis said.
The family's doctor, James Joyce, testified by telephone that he examined Daniel on Monday, and that an X-ray showed his tumor had grown to the size it was when he was first diagnosed.
"He had basically gotten back all the trouble he had in January," the doctor said.
Joyce testified that he offered to make appointments for Daniel with oncologists, but the Hausers declined, then left in a rush with lawyer Susan Daya.
"Under Susan Daya's urging, they indicated they had other places to go," Joyce said.
Daya did not immediately respond to a call Tuesday from The Associated Press. The court also tried to reach her during the hearing, but got no answer.
Minnesota statutes require parents to provide necessary medical care for a child, Rodenberg wrote. The statutes say alternative and complementary health care methods aren't enough.

Mi Amigas

Today is Mexican Fiesta Day at school for the kids.

I had no idea what they were going to wear, but together, the girls and I came up with a creative idea.

Jocie found her poncho that her Grammy made her a long time ago. Then I pinned a notecard to it that said, "Totillas for Sale." Melody loved the idea so she put on an apron that her Grandma Shirley bought her and had me put a note on it that said, "Tamales for Free!" They looked so cute.

Monday, May 18, 2009


Melody is graduating from Kindergarten this week!

She looks so grown up in this picture.
I've been noticing how she still talks a little funny. I'm trying to soak it all up and enjoy it while I can because I know she'll grow out of it soon. Jocie's just one year older than Melody but she seems so grown up compared to Melody. Randy and I call her "Baby Lots" because she's our baby a lot of times. (She actually made this name up for herself and it stuck.) Miles is actually the baby of the family, but Melody has a unique situation. She's also the baby of the family and it tends to work out nicely for her! I can't believe she's about to be finished up with Kindergarten. I'm not sure I'm pleased with this! I'm in no hurry for her to grow up. I love who she is right now. I love my Baby Lots.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Best Bag Ever!!!

Becky...I know you're going to love it!

Randy got me this bag although he doesn't really like it. :) He said if he were a woman he would be embarrassed to carry it.

Anyway, it's the best bag ever! There's not another bag out there that would be able to make me as happy as this bag! Where in the world can one go after this bag! I should either savor it and only use it every once in awhile or just go all the way and use it till it's threadbare.

A guy stopped me yesterday at the store and told me his Dad still had a Boom Box just like my bag. He said his Dad received it as a prize for a big Breakdancing Contest back in 1984. How sweet is that? See, the bag is already bringing people together.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Prayer Room

Every since the BFW in April I really had a desire to have a Prayer Room in our house. I thought it would be so great to have a room that was always prepared, clean and a place to go for prayer and worship. I love the Prayer House in Clyde, but it seems to be an ordeal to get there. I don't always have the time for a 40 minute drive, plus time while I'm there. Anyway, I talked to Randy several times about how I really wanted one, and we enjoyed trying to think up how we could do it. While I was gone on a women's retreat Randy made the Prayer Room a reality. It's so awesome! I can't explain to you how amazing it is! I've had it for over a week now and it's been an amazing blessing for our family.

Randy took in part of our office to make the Prayer Room. Almost everything, including materials were donated!!!! How amazing is that??? The materials were donated by Mike & Cherry from the scraps. Brenda Becker gave me a chair that belonged to her Great Grandmother! I feel so honored by that! Sherry Peters donated the material to recover the chair and also some for the valance. Emily Porter gave us an AMAZING painting that she was actually selling for $1000. No, I'm not kidding!!! Melody bought me a candle holder. Randy bought me a CD player for the room so worship music can continuously be playing in there. Also, Randy and Spencer donated lots of hours of hard work to make the room perfect. I feel so blessed!

When I walk in the room I immediately feel the presence of God in there. The world seems to fade away and I can pray without distraction. Everyone has enjoyed the room. The kids have been going in there and praying before school. (They do this all on their own.) Also, they have journals in there where they can pray or draw pictures for Jesus. Miles has taken a couple of naps in there. He sleeps with a little grin on his face. I believe angels are ministering to his body in there!

For Randy and I it's been a place of intimacy with the Lord. I'm thinking that everyone needs a Prayer Room in their house! It's so much easier to enter into conversation with God without all the distractions of this world going on around you. At life group this week we prayed together in there. It was so powerful!

Anyway, Here's some pictures of it.

The first one is of the outside of the room. It's not finished yet. The rest of the room is done! It's so beautiful! I'm very thankful!!!!!!!

src="" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334624411344547074" />

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

8 Things

Hey, I figure if this topic can bring Francesca back to blog then I can surely do it! So, thanks Rachel!

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To Do:

1. Seeing Miles totally healed!
2. Being a part of something that is world wide amazing!
3. Seeing my name & book on the #1 Bestseller's List.
4. Being a Grandmother. ( I know this is far far off, but I'm still so excited to hold Spencer's Red Headed Babies!)
5. Summer with the kids.
6. Not owning any medical equipment at my house.
7. Seeing my children marry Godly men & women.
8. Buying a Medium shirt for myself.

8 Things I wish I Could Do:

1. Go on a responsibility free vacation with my husband.
2. Enjoy vegetables & working out.
3. Go to a spa regularly.
4. Heal everyone with brain problems.
5. Be mechanically inclined.
6. Have my Mom's house totally remodeled.
7. Tell my Grandma Jody one more time how much she meant to me.
8. Never have to sleep.

8 Shows That I'm currently watching:

1. The Office
2. Parks & Recreation
3. 30 Rock, man I hate admitting that I like that show!

I will tag...hmmm...Cherith, Cherry & Annie.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Pump Overdose

Where do I begin?

Last Tuesday I took Miles to Ft. Worth to get his pump refilled. That appointment seemed to go just fine. (I posted pictures last week of the appointment.)

Well, Thursday during lunch I got a call from the hospital in Ft. Worth and the nurse that we saw on Tuesday asked me how Miles was doing. At first I said fine, but then I realized that he had been acting a little strange that day. I had taken Miles with me to my hair appointment and the lady that always does my hair noticed that Miles’ eyes looked glazed over. Also, he had been gagging a lot. He kept trying to throw up but he can’t because of he’s had a fundoplication. Anyway, so I told the nurse what he was doing and she asked me more questions when I finally said, “Why? What’s going on?” The hospital doesn’t usually make follow up calls to check up on him especially for a routine appointment.

That’s when she told me that when she refilled the pump she didn’t regulate it correctly. She explained that he was getting a concentrated dose directly to his spine instead of a regulated dose. He received a bolus of baclofen instead of getting it gradually.

She had just realized what she had done, and I was in the middle of lunch so both of us were having trouble deciding what to do. I already had plans to teach at Holli’s women’s retreat near San Antonio that weekend and I had already been to Ft. Worth one time that week so I was not in a hurry to drive up there if it wasn’t necessary. We were trying to figure out when I needed to come up there to get the pump checked up. I told her that the next week I was really going to be busy because I’m subbing a lot, and the first part of the following week she was going to be on vacation so we decided that I would come on the 13th to get it checked out. She was uncomfortable about that so she said that if Miles had any problems during the weekend that I needed to bring him on Monday. I agreed then we got off the phone.

I was eating lunch with Randy and his friend Bryan at that time so when I got off the phone I told them what was going on. Randy didn’t like the idea of us waiting until after the weekend to go there. He told me to call the nurse back and ask her if I needed to just go up there that day. This is so interesting to me because this is major role reversal here! I’m the one that is usually aggressive about Miles’ care. Randy’s usually the laid back one! I’m the one that thinks things are more serious and Randy’s the one that thinks nothing is wrong at all.

I had so many things to do to prepare for my upcoming trip that I didn’t want to take the time for a wasted trip to Ft. Worth. Randy didn’t want to risk something bad happening while I was gone for the weekend so he wanted me to go. I called the nurse back and she was relieved when I told her I could come that day.

I was already in Clyde so I traded vehicles with Randy and we were on our way. As I was making the 2 and a half hour drive Miles’ body seemed to be having difficulty. He was sleeping, but a couple of times he would open up his eyes and they were kind of rolling around. By the time that I got him in the clinic the nurse and doctor were concerned for him. He was so limp you could have balled him up and thrown him across the room. He had a very low breath rate. As they watched him the doctor said that they needed to keep him over night to monitor him.

I was shocked! I had not once thought about the possibility of him staying the night! I was not prepared at all! I didn’t bring anything with me. And listen to this…I have no idea why in the world I did this, but I woke up that morning feeling like I wanted to dress up that day. I didn’t want to wear my normal “mom clothes.” I was getting my hair done that morning so I wore a nice dress, uncomfortable shoes and I’ll admit…uncomfortable panties. Dang wanting to look cute! I went and got my hair done that morning and when Cindy, my hair dresser styled my hair she curled it instead of straitening it. I love when she straitens my hair so when I saw she was going to curl it I almost told her not to, but I figured it didn’t really matter so I just let her do it. She curled it, pinned it up a little bit and then sprayed more hair spray in my hair then I’ve used in my hair in two years! So, I’ve got a nice dry clean only dress on, cute/uncomfortable shoes on, uncomfortable panties and great big Barbie looking hair!

Miles gets put in a room at the hospital and as soon as he’s hooked up to all the monitors every alarm on that thing went off! There was no stopping it. All the bells and beeps were going off and the nurses were trying to set the controls lower so it wouldn’t be going off constantly. I was in the room for just about 2 minutes when the nurse told me that I needed to go downstairs and go to registration to get them his insurance stuff and so I could sign paperwork. That needed to be done before he was in the computer. Also, they told me to get something to eat in the cafeteria while I was down there because by this time is about almost 6.

I went downstairs, got some food from the cafeteria and took it to the car to eat so I could charge my phone a little because it was going to die if I didn’t and I knew I would need to use it a lot. So, I did that and then went in to register. As I was waiting for my turn to do that my name was called and they told me that I needed to go to Miles’ room right away. Let me assure you that this does not bring comfort to one’s soul. I had to make my way across the hospital and up to the 6th floor. Again, those cruddy shoes! When I got up to the 6th floor I found out that Miles had already been taken to the ICU. They tried to find me before they transported him but they couldn’t find me because I was in the parking garage. They decided that they couldn’t wait any longer because all his stats were dropping.

He was getting rapidly worse. Everything was dropping. His heart rate was down to 30 (when he left the hospital his heart rate was 109). His blood pressure was getting lower and lower so was his respiratory rates and his temp was down to 90 degrees.

When I got to the ICU there was a whirlwind of activity.
At the clinic they had already fixed his pump, but there was no way that they could remove the medicine from his body because it goes directly in his spine. If I were to overdose on baclofen then they could induce vomiting to help get it out, but they couldn’t do that with Miles. So they began to try to warm him up with a Bair Hugger and we just had to wait and see.

As his temp started to rise, his stats began to get better. He was still completely out of it, but he began to do better. After a couple of hours of being like that, he all the sudden opened his eyes, smiled at everyone and was his usual happy self. It was like God flipped a switch in him! All the things the doctors were worried about with an overdose came back normal. He was just his normal happy self. God rescued him again! I’m not sure he would have survived the night if we had not gone in to have his pump checked. I would have thought that he was just really sleepy like he gets sometimes and he could have just continued to drop his stats and died. I don’t say that for effect or to stir emotions. I just really think that was what would have happened.

Since his body was struggling so hard to survive he was in a deep deep sleep where I couldn’t wake him up. His body was shutting down and I wouldn’t have known that without him being on the monitors. God saved his life once again. I’m so grateful.

I decided since Miles was stable that I would try to get some rest. It had been a very long day. Let me remind you again of what I had with me…nothing! They did scrounge me up a tooth brush (no tooth paste) and some body soap and a bar of soap. They offered to get me some scrubs to wear but I said, “Thank you but no thank you.” So, I slept in my dry clean only dress with the uncomfy unmentionables and used a hospital pillow that was the size of a maxi pad.

I tell ya what though! When I woke up the next morning I made my way to the bathroom and I looked GOOD! My hair looked exactly like it did when I left the salon the day before! She put so much hairspray in it that it didn’t budge! My hair was still pinned up and looked great! My dress was a wrinkle free dress and it was actually wrinkle free. I brushed my teeth without toothpaste and I looked fantastic! I don’t know why that made me so happy but it did!

All night Miles did great. He didn’t sleep a wink. He was up smiling and laughing. He woke me up laughing one or two times. That morning he continued to do great. The doctor released us to go early afternoon that Friday because there wasn’t anything more they could do for him, and besides that he looked great. They let him leave right out of ICU which is so uncommon that the nurse we had didn’t even know how to check him out of the hospital. Usually from ICU you get moved to a regular room to be monitored, but they didn’t do that for him.

I was so glad too because I already had plans that I was really late for. I drove Miles from Ft. Worth to home. When I got there I immediately ripped off my uncomfortable clothes and threw on a wonderful night gown. I took a little nap while Randy picked up our kids from the school. When I got up I showered, packed and left for the women’s retreat that I was supposed to speak at the next day.

I got back in the car and drove and drove. I got to Comfort Texas about 9:30. The retreat went great. I’m so glad I went. I met some really precious women. I instantly felt welcomed with them. I enjoyed being with them. I also enjoyed teaching. I really am so glad I went. A couple of people thanked me for coming even though I had such major family stuff going on. That made me feel so good. It was my honor to be there.

Saturday night after the retreat I made my way home. At first I had planned on spending the night with Holli in San Antonio that night but after one night in the hospital and then one night at the retreat I wanted to be home. I got home at almost 2:00 in the morning. It was a hard drive but it was worth it to wake up in my own bed.

Randy said that Miles slept a lot that weekend. Sunday he was the same way. He would wake up here and there but he slept 99 percent of the time. During the day on Monday he was acting the same way. He was also having sporadic breathing. He was in a really deep sleep where I couldn’t wake him up. I didn’t have peace about how he was doing or how he was looking so I took him in to see the doctor. I’m scheduled to sub three times this week so I wanted to know if he was okay or not.

Well, he wasn’t okay. His heart rate, temp, blood pressure and respiratory rate was all low again. Actually his temp was at an all time low at 84.6 degrees. That is crazy! Miles was put back in the hospital on Monday and he’ll spend another night while the doctor figures out what in the world we need to do. This time though, I’ve got toothpaste, pj’s and I’m wearing panties accordingly. Fool me once…