Bryan and Becky (Our Pastor and his wife) came over today for lunch. They had their little girls, and I had Melody and Miles at the house. We ate pizza and enjoyed hanging out then came up the Miles topic about how we are dealing with the whole thing. Here's where Randy and I are at and here's where we want to stay:
We love God. We love Miles. We know at any second that God can totally heal and restore Miles. Our HOPE is that he does it, but if He doesn't do that we want to be okay with that. Randy and I want to be the very best parents we can be for Miles and continue to serve the Lord no matter what happens or does not happen with Miles.
Bryan said that he loves us being in this place. He agrees with it completely. For some reason lots of other people don't seem to like this place for us. They believe that we have to go after Miles' healing all the time speaking in faith, praying for him, speaking the Word over him. We have done that and it has not worked. I do not feel called in any way to do this. My constant prayer to the Lord is healing for Miles. With everything in me I have Hope for his healing. I'm just not sure that the Lord is going to do it. Is my faith not great enough? My God is greater than my faith. He doesn't need me to do anything for Miles to be healed. He can do it all on his own. He knows the plans he has for me and for Miles and they are good and they are to prosper us and not to harm us. I'm letting God do what he wants to do, and I'm going to be faithful for what he has entrusted to me. It's a great place to be. My heart is full of peace and joy.
Before Bryan left today he did an incredible thing. I don't know if you will be able to understand the scope of what he did, but I will try to explain. I was holding Miles in my lap. When Bryan was getting up to leave he asked me if anyone had ever prayed over Miles just thanking God for him? It caught me so off guard and I told him that no one ever had. He said that's all he wanted to do. He laid his hands on my son's head and prayed the most beautiful prayer of thankfulness for who Miles' is, and for giving our family Miles. He did not ask for healing. He did not ask that things would be easier for us. He did not ask for the Lord to make Miles into something that he's not already. Bryan just said Thank You. Sweet tears fell down my cheeks. It touched and healed something in my heart that I didn't know I needed. It felt so great to be thankful for my wonderful son. It felt so great for someone else to be thankful for who Miles is instead of what we all want him to be. I honestly don't think I will ever forget the sweetness of that moment for my entire life. What a precious gift of thankfulness I felt today.