Thursday, February 12, 2009

14 kids!!! WOW!

Okay, so I'm totally not into the News realm. (Francesca, you know I don't watch the news. hehe) I don't have the latest scoop on current events. I don't read fan magazines so I don't have opinions on the "Star" drama. That being said, I do have to say that I'm so intrigued by this Nayda Suleman and her 14 kids ages 7 and under.
I've been reading little news clips about her situation. Also, after not watching tv for months I tuned in to watch her on Dateline. The story is so interesting. The lady is single and unemployed. She couldn't have children on her own so she did the in-vitro route. Okay, so she had already done that a few times already and had six children in 5 and a half years. That beats my record. Well, she had some babies still available that were frozen so she decided to give it one last go and get them all implanted in her womb. Six embryos were implanted. They all took, plus two of the embryos split so Ta-Da...EIGHT babies at one time!!!!
Wow, I could totally be a reporter. :)

Let's take just a brief pause and all ponder on how in the world that lady looks so good after just having 8 babies! Enough pondering.

Back to the real stuff. So, anyway, this is all very interesting to me because America is throwing a fit about this lady having so many kids since she is single and even more importantly because she is unemployed. I had all sorts of opinions about the situation until Randy and I started talking and he asked me a simple question. He asked, "What sin is she committing?"

What sin is she committing?

Is it a sin to have 14 children? No way.

Is it a sin to have children without being married? Hey, she's not having pre-marital sex with the father of the babies!

Is it a sin to be poor because you have a lot of children? Nope.

Is it a sin to have more children than you can give individual attention to? No. Life is not fair.

Is it a sin to have more children than you can afford to take care of by yourself without government assistance?
Here's where it gets sticky doesn't it?
People are talking about how California should go in and seize her kids and adopt them out because she can't afford them. They act as if her kids are furniture that can easily be removed and given away to just anyone with the money to make the monthly payment on them.

We cannot afford to take care of Miles without government assistance. Should he be taken from us and given to a family that can afford his medical bills without the help of Medicaid? Are we irresponsible for having five children and one being disabled?

What are your thoughts about this situation. I really want to know what you're thinking about this.


Amanda said...

I can see what you're saying, but I don't agree too much. Your situation is a lot different than hers. She purposely got pregnant knowing she did not have a job or a way to care for these children on her own. I totally agree with her decision to not abort any of the babies when she found out she was pregnant with 7 (the 8th baby was a surprise when she delivered) but will she ever really be able to take good quality care of these kids? I think it's very important for a child to have "alone" time with their mom or dad, how hard is it going to be for her to have even an hour of alone time with any of her kids much less have her own alone time. What kind of car is she going to need just to go out and do something. Can she even go to the store? A couple of the older kids are in school, but what about the rest? How is she going to carry 8 infant car seats into a store to buy groceries or diapers or whatever else she needs. I don't think the kids should be treated like property and sold to the highest bidder, but open adoptions are so common now. Of course I don't know all the "inside" information, but I think maybe the kids would be better off if at least a few of them were adopted by people that can not have children of their own that would love these children as their own. I know not everyone that receives any kind of government assistance is a bad person! Like you said, ya'll do to help with Miles care, I receive assistance to help with my rent. Without these programs Miles would not have the medical care he needs, I would not be able to afford my house. But we're not purposely putting ourselves in a position where the government will have to take care of us. OH! And in an aritcle I read earlier this week, all the children have the same father, which is her boyfriend, but she refuses to marry him because she wanted to raise children on her own. It really is a touchy situation.

I hope I don't upset you with how I feel, but you did say you wanted to know our thoughts!

One last thing, has nothing to do with this post, I'm so going to try to find a metal trash can lid for Life Group next week! I'm just as excited as you.

High in Demand said...

Okay, so she'll need a 15 passenger van & grocery shopping will be worst than going to the dentist...BUT what has she done wrong? What sin has she committed by having so many kids?
And in the interview there was no mention of the donor being a boyfriend. They did say he was her "friend" and that he was shocked by the situation, and at this time not part of the kids lives. She said that she had to talk the guy into donating more of the goods.

I Loved reading your opinions Amanda!

Amanda said...

I don't really think she did anything wrong, or committed any sin. I just personally don't agree with her choice. The article I read about it being a boyfriend was like one of the first articles, and it seems like the longer the story goes on the better the details get! I am sure it was a male that donated to her cause though. ;)

Bryan and Becky said...

Okay, I read this early this morning and have been thinking about it all day. As far as a sin...none, she hasn't created a sin. But there is a thing about good choices like Amanda said. So, my argument would be of the two...

1. The Dad (family) issue. She wants to do it all her self, which to me is weird. Does she have all of these children with the expectations of her loved ones (meaning Mom) to help? I know we all may have that expectation...heck I do, but to expect that she'll or they'll (whoever it may be) to help watch 10 kids is a little selfish. And the Dad thing. It's so important for a child to have a man in their life. I know that there are single parents out there, like Amanda, but I'm sure she'll agree that she desires to have the opposite sex in their life to be a role model also. So, I have a problem with these kids not having a Dad-role in their life, but still decides to have them inspite of the fact. There is a difference between Amanda's situation and this girl's situation. Amanda, I'm sure, started off wanting the Dad to be in their life...the girl doesn't want it from the beginning.

2. Did she decide to have the kids, again, expecting that the government (which means me and you) would help pay for it? I don't have a problem with government assisted programs. I think it's a good thing when it is done right. Again, agreeing with Amanda, you and Amanda didn't choose for your life that you'd have to have help...situations or life hit you and put you in a place that needs help. It happens every day. Heck we used it the other day to go to the doctor. I mean there was a day that we would have paid for it, but we lost our job and am needing a little help. My problem with government assisted programs is that people take advantage of it. They don't choose to get a job, they have more kids for tax purposes, they want to mooch off of a program because they can. We all have choices in our responsibilities and should choose carefully. I feel that if she did it to take advantage of the program that I don't feel that I should have to pay for it out of my tax dollars.

So, for what it's worth...there's my two cents.

Wow...I'm not sure that I want to post this...opinions could really get mixed, causing arguments!! Again, if you ask opinions than we all should respect them...(that's my peacemaker coming out!! :)

High in Demand said...

Hey Becky, that girl lives in California...maybe you could go help her get to the grocery store. ;)

Or, if they end up having a Baby Sell maybe you could go pick up one or two of them.

Bryan and Becky said...

HA! I've been meaning to "buy" a couple of more kids!! :) Want me to get you one while I'm at it??

Again, just joking!!! It's a serious matter, people!! :)


I know everyone who has heard this story has an opinion. And mine much like Amanda and Becky is that no she did not commit a sin by doing this, bit in all honesty I don't think it is fair for the children. Being a single parent is hard enough with two children but 14. And from what I read yesterday the normal amount of implanted embryos for a woman her age is three. This woman asked the doctor to over implant. To me that shows a lack of judgement on her part exspecialy since she had a history of having twins. Also I question her responsiblity she already had 6 children to take care of and could not support them yet she spent between $8,000 and $15,000 to have the invetro. I do feel sorry for her that the public has been so cruel to her for the choices that she made. We all make poor choices in life and to have yours thown out there where everyone can pass judgement on you is heart breaking. I just pray that she can raise her children and make a life for them.

Jennifer said...

There are many things in life that are "wrong" that aren't sins. Such as letting kids watch t.v. for 8 hours straight because it seems like too much to interact with them. Or leaving kids at home by themselves so that a mom can go to the club. Or a woman who stays with a man who beats her in front of her children. (the man is sinning in that scenario, but don't you think that woman has just as much responsibility to shield her children from that) I think Nayda (the obsessed mom) did do something wrong. She purposely put herself again and again x14 in a situation where she could not possibly support herself and her children or give them the individual love they need.

After reading a few articles about her and her history, she shows a tendency to "work the system" by her lifestyle. She was on disability for several years for a work-related accident and used those benefits to get pregnant with her first six children. Three of those six children receive disability checks each month that total up to be almost $3000. All I'm saying is that there are many things that are wrong that aren't expressly written in the bible as sin.

I did think it was harsh of some of the people to suggest her to "adopt them out" Children shouldn't be treated like commodities, even if that's kind of how their mother is treating them now.

I think that what this woman did was wrong, not a sin, but I also admit that I can't think of a good solution for it either that would seem fair to everyone.

(good blog subject. really.)

Anonymous said...

I aggree with Amanda. Like Brandi, I don't ever watch or read the news. All I know is what I see on the hotmail homepage headline (good title) before I check my e-mail. So, I'd like to know, who paid for the in-vetro? Her or the government?

High in Demand said...

Cherith, she paid for her own in-ventro, but she used government money, disability payments to do it with.

Everyone, this has been so interesting to read everyone's opinions.