Today I took a water bottle and a rag so I could clean his headstone because last time I was there it looked dusty. (I also cleaned the headstone above his which is Randy's Dads, but it's much older and didn't come as clean.)
What do I do when I go to Miles's grave?
- Sometimes I lie down next to him and pretend we're at home together.
- Get stickers in my pants
- Pray and ask God to please help me through this
- Feel thankful that he wasn't buried in Babyland. I don't know why this matters to me, but it does.
- I like to bring some kind of trinket
- Sweat and get bit by ants
- Try to picture Miles in Heaven instead of in the earth
- Tell Miles that I love him
- Think about how bad it sucks that he died
- Feel empty
- Usually get a headache
- Look at a painting of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane
- Feel guilty for not coming more often and ridiculous for coming at all