Saturday, November 25, 2006

Breathe in...Exhale

Okay, tomorrow is kind of a big day. We're planning on taking Miles to church in his wheelchair for the first time. I've taken him on a test run around our neighborhood and that went well. We even went shopping at a store by myself. It wasn't too bad at all. He really seems to like the chair which helps a ton. I think I'm ready to start using the chair. I just don't want to have an emotional breakdown about the whole thing. I've been doing pretty well so I don't want to ruin it. Please pray for our family that Miles will be able to have a comfortable place to sit without his family being an emotional wreck about it.

He really is pretty cute in his chair. I will have to get a picture of him in it on here for you to see him.

This is a huge step for us.


Tangerine Tinselbreeze said...

This has been brewing in me since your Throwing Things post- Please try to hear the good in this-

When I was a little girl, my dad used to read this story to me- it was about a statue covered with gold, it had jeweled eyes and was beautiful. From all around the countryside, they would come to admire it's beauty.

As time passed on and needs arose in the community they would approach the statue and ask for parts- his eyes-his layers of gold skin, until everything was stripped. Everything of “value” was gone. It is a story not unlike the “Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein. In that story, the tree provided for the boy in all the stages of his life, becoming what he needed, when he needed it. Until at the end the tree became a stump, for the boy, now old man, to sit on.

Many people are saddened by stories like these. After all what did the tree get out of painful giving? What did the statue get out of giving until all beauty was gone?

To me, I see a beauty that runs deeper than outward appearance.
To me I see “The Cross” in all of it’s outward ugliness, an act of giving to allow beautiful freedom to others.
To me I see a mother willing to lay aside the pain of resolution to a sea of acceptance that does not sit well with her soul
To me I see a child receiving the beauty of the structure of God in his mother’s spirit
The very spirit He gave her.
With each branch that feels as though cut off of her own body to give into provision for her child….
With each jeweled eye plucked from her body to give sight to those of us that do not have to intimately endure her pain…
With all of this and much more that we who witness the outward acts of lovingkindness never see….
My prayer is that you trust that our Father’s arms are holding you as you mercifully dispense provision to your children, to Miles
You are not giving up
You are giving out
You are not Losing Hope
You are providing Hope
You are not losing Faith
Faith is restored in others
As you continually seek to wrestle the angelic for the miraculous
As you endure, and your faith is challenged, and you rise yet again to another level of love, patience, kindness, mercy, and grace
Stand encouraged. Stand strong, our prayers are with you
You will not be a stump, or a faded monument
You will be a reflection of the Father, refined and alive in your heritage
Your children, your children’s children and all of those you reveal the instrument of peace you have allowed Him to mold you into

Brenda M Becker said...

My sweet Brandi, full of life, I want to recommit my love and support to you. After our interaction at church this morning, I was moved to read your blog and recommit myself to you. I commit to pour out all I have in loving you, holding nothing back. Forgive me for holding back due to fear of hurting you or not knowing how to give. If I miss it, if I make a mess, you are very welcome to tell me. I know God is going to give you resolution to your inner conflict due to the two realities of flesh and faith colliding like two atomic bombs in your heart. You are enough. Enough for God, for Miles, for Randy, for your friends. You are enough. I love you with all my heart.

Brenda M Becker said...

brandi, check out