As usual I have some processing that I need to do about Miles. I really need help working out some things so my brain can be settled and have peace about it. Lord, you are invited into this conversation. Please come and give me wisdom.
These sort of things aren’t great to process with Randy because his manliness kicks in and he wants to fix everything, and tell me what to do first, second and third. That’s helpful in a lot of situations, but not this one.
Several of us have children that will be three soon. Our babies are growing up. I can’t say it’s been quick for me. As a matter of fact I feel like Miles was born about 10 years ago. I know Miles won’t be three until October, but because of his situation I have to think about it now.
Miles gets several therapies every week/month. He has vision therapy once a week. He has physical therapy once a week. He has occupational therapy once a week. He has speech therapy 1 time a month. He goes through a program called ECI so he can have services at home. This service is only available for children 3 and under. The day he turns three he will “Graduate” or be “Kicked Out”…however you prefer to look at it. That means that will no longer get therapy services in his home. He will have to go to the rehab several times a week. Now that I have Christy it won’t be so bad to travel. If I can’t go for some reason or another she can take him without me. I don’t necessarily like the idea of her taking him without me all the time, but when things come up it’s nice to know that I have back up. It makes it feel a lot less stressful. Also, this will start with the upcoming school year. This is good for me because next year I will have three in school. Only Melody and Miles will be at home during the day. This frees me up dramatically!
Okay, so with all that info (Which is all just background for what I’m needing to process.)
Here’s my deal. I’m feeling tons of pressure to put Miles into PPCD, Public Preschool for Children with Disabilities. He can go the day he turns three. As a matter of fact I learned that because he is legally blind that he could of actually started when he turned 2. He could start school next September when all the other kids go back. Now, I’ve heard about this school for the last two years. Therapists and coordinators have tried to talk to me about the school for so long, and my response has been, “Uh, he’s only going to be three years old! My kids have always stayed home with me until they go to Kindergarten. They do go to a Mother’s Day Out Program when they turn four, but that’s only one day a week to get ready for school. Plus, my other kids go to Private school…and you’re wanting me to send my handicap son that can’t talk to be about how things are going on to a Public school? You’re nuts. No way!” That is my usual basic thoughts about the whole thing. Well, I committed to going to at the very least taking a tour of the preschool. That was yesterday.
(SIDE NOTE) This was written in two different sittings. One was before the meeting and one was after. I am no longer Processing. You will be able to read the decision by the end of this. Anyway, when I started to read the whole thing together it didn't flow well because of the differences of time.)
So, anyway, the tour was yesterday. I totally planned on hating the whole thing. I decided that I was going to have an open mind about it. Yesterday Randy, Miles and I went to the tour and on the way (and lots of times before that) I invited Jesus Christ to go with us. I asked him to give us wisdom and guidance about what to do. I expected the Holy Spirit himself to give Randy and I the wisdom to make the right decision.
Something very surprising happened yesterday! I fell in love with that little school. The staff was so wonderful. I enjoyed being around all the kids. All the pictures on the walls were adorable. Everything was charming. The staff fell in love with Miles and they couldn’t stop talking about how cute Miles was. They all wanted him to come to the school. The lady we talked to about all the specifics of our situation was incredibly knowledgeable and understanding of our concerns. She gave us all kinds of insightful information and made it clear that it was completely up to us on what we were going to do. I really felt like she was honest when she said that she wanted the very best for Miles. Of course she openly admitted that she would be so happy to have him at the school, but if I wait for a year or so then that would be perfectly acceptable.
I left there totally shocked at how much I liked the school. Everything about it charmed me. I wanted to go there with Miles everyday! It sounded fun. (That was not one of the options.)
One huge thing I had to consider was what to do about Miles’ nurse Christy. She is so amazing and I believe she’s the best nurse we could possibly have for our family. I didn’t want to loose her because of her having to cut her hours back while Miles would be at school. I knew she could stay later, but that’s not really practical for her family or ours. Plus, Randy basically said to me that he didn’t want Miles to go there unless Christy could go with him. That is a possibility if Dr. Wiley will write a prescription stating that Miles needs Christy to be there. Now, Miles doesn’t really need her to go with him, but I bet that Dr. Wiley would write whatever I asked him to write.
So, I talked to Christy and asked her to think about if she liked/hated/loved/despised the idea of going to school with Miles for two hours a day and she said that she liked the idea.
Well, last night Randy and I finally got to have a debriefing about the meeting. The Lord did just as I asked. He gave Randy and I wisdom and he gave us both the same exact feelings and decision! Here it is:
We both love the school. We think they have a great program. We were pleased with what they had to offer and with their caring staff.
BUT, Miles will only be three years old! We don’t see what benefit the school would be to Miles right now. Maybe when he’s four and all four of the other kids will be in school it would be a good time. Hey, I possibly could even get a part time job at that time. WOW! The therapy sessions at the school are iffy about the times the therapist will be there so we couldn’t really count on him getting all the physical therapy he needs while he would be at school. With that in mind we would have to take him out even more in the afternoons to have all his therapy. They would be a lot of travel for any three years old! Also, we can keep the therapist he has currently if doesn’t go to school.
So, that’s it. No school for Miles when he’s three. Maybe four. Maybe not. Right now it’s hard to tell what the future holds for him.
I’m glad that I have peace. I feel so confident with our decision that I will be able to stand firm when others try to persuade me otherwise.
Aw, I’m thankful for James 1:5-7: If you need wisdom-if you need to know what God wants you to do-ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should not expect anything from the Lord. They can’t make up their minds. They waver back and forth in everything they do.
I asked the Lord for wisdom, expected him to give it to me, and he did! My mind is settled!