Man, where would I begin if I tried to lay out the details of my life right now?
There's plenty of heart wrenching things I could tell you. It's a heavy tale with mucus, blood, oxygen, drugs and sadness.
Maybe I will write down the details soon. Maybe I won't.
At the same time there's a wonderful tale with love, gifts, food, van, visits and singing.
The hospice nurses have said that Miles probably only has a few days left. A mother's heart does not process this well. I've had so many people check on me, do nice things for my family and come by to love on my sweet son. With each act of kindness it feels like ministering angels coming to heal my soul.
This is the worst thing I've ever had to do. Miles is now on pain medication 24 hours a day. For about an hour last night he was only taking in breaths about every 5 seconds. I'm pretty sure the other day when I got him out of the bath he stopped breathing. He turned completely white and limp. It was so frightening.
I love him so much. I can't imagine not having him. The other night I crawled into bed with him and fell asleep with my head on his shoulder. I was just laying there holding him and wanting to soak him into me so I could keep him forever. I just wanted to feel him so close to me.
PLEASE PRAY FOR US! We need PEACE. I need PEACE. My husband needs PEACE. My 4 other children need PEACE. My sweet Miles needs PEACE in his body.
5 comments:
I can not imagine what you and your family are going through, I can only say that I love you all and am praying for peace.
Mason wants to come by so I think I will go get him after work and see if you are available.
Let me know if there is anything and I will do my best to help you.
Oh Brandi, I don't even have any words for you. I truly can't imagine what you are going through. You are all in my prayers. HUGS and much love.
I have no words, but I am praying for your family to have peace. It's really heart breaking, to see this happening even if I am observing it online.
Brandi your family is so worthy of peace and so worthy of love and you are such a light and inspiration to me and i just want you to know you are a wonderful mother and randy is an amazing father no one else could have such an impact on some one the way you guys had on me growing up and you are so worthy of it all you have the most loving spirit it just make my heart ache to see you guys go threw this but i know you will over come the impossible cause your worthy thanks for being you
love you
melissa burger (deel)
Brandi
your family is so worthy of peace and so worthy of love and you are such a light and inspiration to me and i just want you to know you are a wonderful mother and randy is an amazing father no one else could have such an impact on some one the way you guys had on me growing up and you are so worthy of it all you have the most loving spirit it just make my heart ache to see you guys go threw this but i know you will over come the impossible cause your worthy thanks for being you
love you
melissa burger (deel)
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