Today I was at the library looking for an audio book. I like listening to audio books on the way to Ft. Worth because it makes the time go by so quickly. It's either that or talk way too much on the phone. I'm sorry that a few of you have been on the other end of a long conversation so I can pass the time.
Anyway, I saw the cover of this book:
I thought, "That's a cute cover. Oh, but wait...it says that it's about "hospitality under the influence" and hospitality isn't really my thing. Maybe if I were Pam then I would read this. But, I'm not Pam. However, being under the influence sounds pretty good. I wonder what this book is about."
I flipped it over to read about it and this is what it said:
Dear Reluctant Shopper,
If you are reading this, I can only assume that you're hesitating to buy this audiobook. Maybe you're thinking I don't know anything about this audiobook; I would like more information. Should I buy it based solely on the exceptionally strinking cover shot? Well, that's a good enough reason for me.
Look, your wishy-washy attitude is really starting to rub me the wrong way. You know what? Maybe you should set the audiobook down and let someone else more attractive buy it! I'm sorry that was uncalled for. Deep breath...let it out slowly. I'm sure in more circles you're considered attractive. I'm sure by now you're skipping past the register...What, you still haven't bought it?
All right, fine, you win. I'll tell you a little more about the audiobook. The first thing you should know is: I like parties! Here are some of the helpful suggestions you'll get by listening to this audiobook.
1. It's always a good idea to stock your neighbor's apartment with the basics (alcohol, ice, corn chips...) so when you run out at three o' clock in the morning you know whose door to knock on.
2. Try filling your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosy partygoer more than successfully than an avalanche of marbles striking a porcelain sink.
3. Pre-crack all your liquor bottles. No one wants to be the first, especially at a wake.
Convinced? I thought so. Just remember: sometimes you can judge an audiobook by its cover, or in this case, its tremendously gorgeous cover.
I'll see you on the inside. -Amy Sedaris
Okay, back to me. How funny is that? I haven't listened to a word of it yet, but I think it's going to be great. Maybe I'll learn some tips and invite you all over for a party. Maybe Amy Sedaris will convert me to her ways.
Hey, if you buy the real audiobook instead of getting to listen to it for free from the library you will get bonus material recipes.
I'll have to tell you what I think after I listen to it.