I’ve never felt this one before.
I was putting on my make-up and trying to get to a place of peace with the Lord. I asked him, “Where are you.” I’ve been upset about Sunday. Wounded is a better word than upset. Anyway, I haven’t felt comforted by the Lord. I haven’t felt rebuked by the Lord. I haven’t felt compassion from the Lord. I’ve felt nothing. As I was sitting there doing my make-up I was trying to figure out what this familiar yet unfamiliar feeling I was having towards the Lord. Then it hit me.
I feel like I need to FORGIVE the Lord for not restoring Miles Sunday night.
When there are people in my life that I need to forgive I have a heaviness on my heart that I know I need to release. This is fairly easy for me to do. Once I release that person then the heaviness is gone. Anyway, when I recognized this heaviness as the forgiveness heaviness I was a little shocked!
Is feeling like I need to forgive God for not restoring Miles blasphemy?
I feel so hurt and disappointed in my God for Miles not walking out of church on Sunday evening. Right now as I write this I have a physical pulsing pain in my chest. It’s pulsing in brokenness.
Can I say, “Lord, I forgive you for not restoring Miles yet”? Is that right on any level? I have no idea. I’ve never felt like this before.