My Spencer

This was too cute not to jot down.

This morning as I was leaving the house to take the boys to school I noticed that Spencer's pants were big and I thought about having him change but we were going to be late so I just sent him to the car. Well, I didn't think too much about it, but after school I noticed that he was walking around the house while holding up his pants. I said, "Spencer, did you have trouble with your pants at school today?" He said that he did. I took a look and he had on Joey's pants and RANDY'S belt! I asked him why he had that on and he just shrugged his shoulders. That belt went around him twice. I asked him if he went to the bathroom while at school and he smiled really big and said, "Only once!"

Thought you might get a kick out of this!

I made dinner tonight and Randy's brother came over to eat with us. He also brought along a movie for us to watch. After dinner Randy and I were cleaning off the table and his brother asked if he could go ahead and put the movie in. We said yes, and a minute later he said, "Hey, why won't this DVD player open?" I sent Joey in the living room to help him, and Randy said, "Yeah, send in our eight year old son to help his Mechanical Engineer Uncle work the DVD player!"

Rule Breakers

Well, I decided that I didn't want to write about all the seizure activity. It frazzles my brain just thinking about it all. Here's what I've decided about seizures:

There's nothing natural about seizures.

You know the English rule that says, "I before E except after C."

Well, seizures don't even follow that rule! They are unnatural rule breakers and I don't like them one bit!

Jocie is so Mature These Days.

This morning I picked out a shirt for Jocie to wear to Mother's Day Out. When she put the shirt on she said, "This is too big for me." I looked at the shirt and I told her it looked fine. She thought it was too low cut. It was lower on her chest than her other shirts but I thought it was just fine. Well, I was making breakfast and she came in and said, "Look at this shirt. It's too big for me." Again, I told her it was fine and that it matched her pants so I sent her on her way. Then, I was signing the boy's folders when she came in and said, "The kids are going to laugh at me!" Finally, I told her that I would get her a new shirt. I went with her to her room and handed her a pink sweater. She put it on and said, "Good. This one doesn't show my nipples. I don't like shirts that show my nipples." She was so cute and serious! I will remind her in a few years that she doesn't like shirts that show her nipples.

December Newsletter...The Sneak Preview

Merry Christmas Everyone! How will you celebrate this year? Will you decorate your home with green and red? Will you pull out your Christmas tree and decorate with all your special ornaments from the years before? Christmas time is filled with all kinds of family traditions. That’s one reason that Christmas time is so special. One thing that my family does that my kids always enjoy is the reading of the Christmas Story while playing with the nativity scene. On the night we decorate our home my husband reads the Christmas story out of Luke, and the kids get to act out the story with our little nativity scene. Its fun for everyone and it reminds the kids that we celebrate Christmas because of Jesus.
Here’s another tradition of ours that may not bring you fuzzy feelings like the last one. This is a topic that you may or may not enjoy reading about, but please don’t beat me up after church! If you don’t like what I’m writing about this month talk about it to the Lord and see what He says. Well, here it is…We “Don’t Do Santa”. I can almost see you gasp for air with your hand over your mouth with shock and unbelief! How could a family with five children be deprived of Santa? Before you feel too much sorrow for our kids listen to our reason.
When I was pregnant with our first son my husband and I talked about how we would raise our children. Soon enough we made it to the topic of Holidays and we began to discuss the whole idea of Santa Claus. It didn’t take long for us to realize this tradition was not for us.
What do you remember more as a child? Is your vivid memory of Santa what “he brought you” or is it of finding out that he wasn’t real? Both of our memories were of finding out that Santa wasn’t real. I remember my Aunt telling me and my Mom being mad at her for a long time for telling me. Randy’s memory was of his sister telling him. I also remember being at Kmart as a kid at Christmas time and my brother and I convincing our youngest brother to pretend like he still believed in Santa because as long as he believed in Santa my brother and I would continue to get extra gifts.
So, with that in mind we have lying, conniving and selfishness all tied up in a pretty ribbon called Santa. Not so pretty is it? As parents we teach our children that when their teeth fall out a fairy comes and brings them money. We teach them that the Easter Bunny brings them a pretty basket of candy. We teach them that when they go to sleep on Christmas Eve Santa Clause comes down their chimney (even if they don’t have one) and he gives them presents. We also teach them that Jesus Christ came to this earth as a baby, died on the cross for their sins, and God raised him from the dead, and if they believe in Jesus that they will have eternal life.
All these people/characters the kids have to believe in. They cannot see the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Clause or Jesus, but they are told to believe in them. Soon enough in every kids life an Aunt, Sister or some kid on the playground tells the truth about Santa. Then the kid is left with wondering what else is not true? Randy and I decided that the fun of Santa wasn’t worth the lying that it takes.
Recently, a friend of mine was talking about her “freakish Aunt” that didn’t ‘Do Santa”. She didn’t know my view about the subject when she brought it up. The thing is that her Aunt didn’t decorate, didn’t buy presents, and didn’t sing Christmas carols. This is not what I’m talking about. At our house Santa is not the Devil! Our kids can sit on his lap at the Mall if they want to. They can color pictures of him at school. They can say his name without having to wash their mouth out with soap. We just don’t tell our kids that Santa brings them presents when they go to sleep! Why would we? He doesn’t. We do tell them that Jesus came to this earth as a baby, died on the cross for their sins, and God raised him from the dead, and if they believe in him they will be saved. Why do we tell them that? He did. BELIEVE in Jesus!

Chef T.V.

The other day I was in the waiting room waiting for Miles to get his cast off and I saw a cooking show. The chef was a man and the taste tester was a man. I began to wonder...Why is it that chefs in general and chef's on T.V. are mainly men since on the whole men don't cook?

I asked Randy what he thought. Is it that the men who decide they like to cook have to be the very best at cooking so they become chefs and then get their own show or restaurant?

Here's Randy's take on the man chef: He thinks that T.V. chefs are male because women don't like to learn from other women. He thinks that a woman might take the cooking advice from a man quicker than they would from a woman because it's less threatening. He thinks that women might not like to be out cooked by another woman.

Very interesting I say.

It might be that there are women chefs all over, but they decide not to have their own show because they don't want the additional weight that T.V. adds to their appearance plus the additional weight that all white clothing adds to their appearance.

What do you think?

Bye Bye CastBoy!

No more CastBoy. Monday Miles got his cast off. The doctors picked him up out of the cast and replaced him right into his new $1,300 brace! It's looks like a mix between what Forrest Gump wore and some kind of cowboy gear. It's not too bad. We can take it off for 1 hour a day to give him a bath. We're still not used to seeing his legs. They were really flaky and rough, but we're trying to fix that. I think they will look better soon. Also, he's gotten so skinny. He was weighed after the appointment and with the brace and all his clothes on he only weighed 20 pounds. He's two years old and he's tall! We've got to get him some meat on his bones. We're all being very careful with him because we don't want to hurt him. I'm sure we will get used to moving him around soon.

I have a lot to say about the whole seizure issue that has come up with Miles, but right now I just don't have the energy to relay all the info about that. So...Seizure Info Coming Soon.

Hey, please pray for Randy and I! We need a vacation together! We have the money! We just don't know how it would be possible to leave for awhile. I say we need, but really we desire to go on vacation! I think we could possibly work out a long weekend. If you have any great ideas for a mini vacation tell me about it. Here's what we think we would like: We want a place to rest, be at peace, be alone, (it's sounding a lot like I'm describing a cemetery!) fun, not too far so we don't eat up our time driving, NOT IN Ft. Worth, something where we can come back feeling refreshed! Let me know if you have any ideas.

A family that digs together...Stays together.

Well, I did something today that was really gross!

I lost a $135 check. It was the money from Miles' insurance for our trip on Monday. I thought I had put it in my purse so I went to the bank to cash it today, but it wasn't in my purse. I went home and frantically looked for the check. It wasn't in the place it had been for the previous 5 days. The house cleaner had just left and I could only think of one other place it could be....THE TRASH OUTSIDE!

I called Randy and told him that I had lost the check. I was really upset and I started crying. He said, "Hey, do you know why you're crying? It's because you're a great wife, and you never make mistakes like this so it's upsetting to you. I'll come home and help you look."

Okay, what a wonderful man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If this was a test for him he got an A+++!

He came home and we looked all over and we couldn't find it. So, we went outside and started digging in the dumpster. And when I say We...I mean He. Randy looked through bags of trash and found nothing. It was so gross, and bees were swarming us. Jocie said it all when she said, "I smell barf." People were walking down our alley staring at us. I kept trying to explain to the people that I threw away a check. Randy just kept digging. This one couple came up to us and started talking to our little girls. They didn't even seem to wonder why we were digging in the trash can. They didn't seem to think this was strange at all. The man had his beer and the lady had her soda and they were just taking a little walk down the alleys at 1:00 this afternoon. Okay, I didn't know our alley was such a hang out, but I know I saw about 10 people in a matter of 15 minutes. No wonder were missing a lawn mower, weed eater, extention cord and an edger.

Well, we gave up on the dumpster idea and went to look in our room again. We found it on the floor between the desk and the wall. We were so happy. Randy came over and wiped the trash slime on me and then went back to work with a smile on his face.

Randy, you're the man!

Book Review

Okay, I have officially finished reading the book, When I Lay My Isaac Down. So, I can officially tell you that it's an awesome book, and now beg you to read it!!!! It would really bless me if you would read this book. I'm of course just asking those of you that are walking through this whole thing with Miles with me. I tried to think about what this book would have meant to me if I had read it three years ago, and I'm not sure what I would have thought about it. Nothing seriously bad had ever happened to me three years ago so I might not have been able to identify with the lady, but I feel like I am that lady now. I say read the book while thinking of me and learn the lessons from her so you can put these things into practice without having to go through a situation like her and I. Plus, I know most of us have situations that are going on in our lives that we need to lay down to the Lord so it might be helpful for you as well. Anyway, it would just bless me if you read it. I think it would show you a lot of the emotions, thoughts, fears, and battles that I go through often. That way when you ask how I'm doing I can say, "Like page 38 or like page 125 today."

It's When I Lay My Isaac Down by Carol Kent. READ IT!!!
And you can't borrow mine because I borrowed mine, and I'm reading it again.
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

October Medical Report

Here's is Miles' Medical Calendar for the Month:

Vision Therapy 5 times this month.
Occupational Therapy 5 times this month.
Physical Therapy 4 times this month.
Nurse care for 100 hours.

4th He had to go see Dr. Wiley because he started having seizures.

11th Christy the nurse took Miles to the doctor because we thought he might have an ear infection. He had been throwing fits, and was not acting himself. The doctor checked him and he did not have an ear infection, but the doctor saw him throw one of the fits and got worried and ordered a bunch of tests for Miles. I got a baby sitter and then had to take Miles back to the doctor for Blood Work that they tried 3 times to get until I finally had to make them quit and use what they got. They did a urine test, and a complete bone scan on Miles. This means that they X-Rayed every bone in his body! This was one of the most terrible medical days of the entire 2 years for me. I hated every minute of it. All tests came back normal.

13th I had to call Miles' insurance to get them to send us money for Miles upcoming Ft. Worth trip.

16th Miles had an EEG test done. This was to measure seizure activity. His head was hooked up to about 30 electrodes and then plugged in to measure brain activity. He laid in a dark room on a queen size bed for about an hour with strobe lights in his face to try to trigger a seizure.

18th We got the EEG test results back that informed us that Miles is having low level seizures all the time. Also on this day he had a seizure so bad that he cried and cried without being able to be consoled. Jocie was so upset about the whole thing. She held on to my leg and cried because Miles was crying so hard. It was terrible. Also, on this day Christy and I decided that it was time for Miles to start Pediasure. He throws up his milk all the time so we need to get him on a product that doesn't have milk in it. The doctor was called to get orders for the Pediasure.

19th I had to call to make sure that Miles' brace will be at the appointment next week when the cast comes off. I don't know why I had to call, but they asked me to do it. Also, I had to make arrangements for his ABC coordinator to come for another visit so he can continue to get therapy services in our home.

23rd Miles will be going to Ft. Worth to GET HIS CAST OFF!!!!! He will also be getting his new brace on. We will drive up there early in the morning and come back that day.

24th Miles will have an appointment with the ABC coordinator and also see a dietician.

25th I have to call again for transportation money for another trip to Ft. Worth.

30th Back to Ft. Worth for him to see his neurologist. We're going to see if he will increase Miles' muscle tone medication. He's been getting even tighter in his muscles and we need to do something. Always before he's had full range of motion with stretching but it's getting hard to move his arms, and we don't want them to get stuck in place.

That's 21 appointments for the month!

So, that's Miles' October Medical Report...that's also the reason that I want a weekend alone with my husband!

Life with Spencer is Fun

Last night at Life Group I was helping to take care of all the kids. We had them in Joey and Spencer's room. It was loud! The boys in the room were hitting each other with stuffed animals, some of the kids were playing their own version of Heads Up Seven Up, Miles was crying, and other kid's were climbing up and down the bunk beds. Well, the noise was out of hand and Jocie, being the grown up little girl she is had a great idea. She said in a sweet and mature voice, "Who thinks we should play the Quiet Game?"

Spencer yelled, "NOOOOO It's HELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!"
Cherry and I looked at each other to figure out if he said what we thought he said.
Then he said it again, "IT'S HELLLLLLLLLLL!!!! It's HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! It's HELLLLLLLLLLL!"

I walked over to him and asked, "Spencer, are you saying that the Quiet Game is Hell?"
Without a hesitation and a smile on his face he said, 'Yes."

I had to tell him that when said that way the word Hell becomes a bad word. He said, "Okay."
It was so funny!

Thankful

Bryan and Becky (Our Pastor and his wife) came over today for lunch. They had their little girls, and I had Melody and Miles at the house. We ate pizza and enjoyed hanging out then came up the Miles topic about how we are dealing with the whole thing. Here's where Randy and I are at and here's where we want to stay:

We love God. We love Miles. We know at any second that God can totally heal and restore Miles. Our HOPE is that he does it, but if He doesn't do that we want to be okay with that. Randy and I want to be the very best parents we can be for Miles and continue to serve the Lord no matter what happens or does not happen with Miles.

Bryan said that he loves us being in this place. He agrees with it completely. For some reason lots of other people don't seem to like this place for us. They believe that we have to go after Miles' healing all the time speaking in faith, praying for him, speaking the Word over him. We have done that and it has not worked. I do not feel called in any way to do this. My constant prayer to the Lord is healing for Miles. With everything in me I have Hope for his healing. I'm just not sure that the Lord is going to do it. Is my faith not great enough? My God is greater than my faith. He doesn't need me to do anything for Miles to be healed. He can do it all on his own. He knows the plans he has for me and for Miles and they are good and they are to prosper us and not to harm us. I'm letting God do what he wants to do, and I'm going to be faithful for what he has entrusted to me. It's a great place to be. My heart is full of peace and joy.

Before Bryan left today he did an incredible thing. I don't know if you will be able to understand the scope of what he did, but I will try to explain. I was holding Miles in my lap. When Bryan was getting up to leave he asked me if anyone had ever prayed over Miles just thanking God for him? It caught me so off guard and I told him that no one ever had. He said that's all he wanted to do. He laid his hands on my son's head and prayed the most beautiful prayer of thankfulness for who Miles' is, and for giving our family Miles. He did not ask for healing. He did not ask that things would be easier for us. He did not ask for the Lord to make Miles into something that he's not already. Bryan just said Thank You. Sweet tears fell down my cheeks. It touched and healed something in my heart that I didn't know I needed. It felt so great to be thankful for my wonderful son. It felt so great for someone else to be thankful for who Miles is instead of what we all want him to be. I honestly don't think I will ever forget the sweetness of that moment for my entire life. What a precious gift of thankfulness I felt today.

By the way...of course I didn't really say that to the lady at McDonald's!

New Book

I'm reading a book my Mother in Law just gave me. It's called When I Lay My Isaac Down by Carol Kent. I'm only on page 28, but if you really want to know what I feel like most of the time about what happened to Miles you should read this book. Like I said I'm only on page 28, but it feels like words have been ripped out of my heart and written down in this book.

Parenting 101

The other day our family went to the Dollar Tree. It's our kids favorite store because they can buy anything they want to. It's always a fun trip for the Wilson Family. Well, the kids were looking for their toy when I over heard a funny thing. I passed by a Mom and a little girl in a cart about age 5. Well, the little girl had picked up a stuffed pink monkey. As I was passing her I heard the Mom tell her to put that thing down. The girl didn't. Then I heard the Mom say, "You better that thing down or you will never go into another store ever again." I told Randy what that lady said, and we laughed about how that little girl had better savor that trip to the Dollar Tree since it would be her last time to ever step foot in a store for her entire life. I saw that girl a few aisle later and she still had the pink monkey.

Why on earth do parents make threats as stupid as that, and threats that they know they will not keep? Randy and I decided early on in parenting that we were going to do our best not to do that. We knew that 'Counting" was not going to be part of our parenting. I'm assuming you know what I mean by counting. You know, it's when you tell your kid to get off the kitchen table and they just look at you to see if you mean business and you start counting to 3. You count 1...2...3 and the theory behind it is that when you get to three the kid gets in big trouble. The problem with this theory is that I've never seen a parent get to three and then the big trouble happens. Well, that's just one of the problems with counting.

If you are a friend of mine and you count please don't be offended, but I think that's one of the most ridiculous things a parent can do! If you tell your kid to do something and they aren't doing it...I think the only counting that should be going on is how many pops the kid is going to get.

Well, to add to the story the other day the kids and I met Randy at McDonald's for lunch. We were eating and our kids were playing. Everything was boring until this lady told 'Alex" it was time to go. He was playing in the playground center and I immediately spotted Alex. He looked right at her and paused then hurried up the playground. I heard her tell him again, but he didn't care. Then she started to count...1...2...ALEX GET DOWN HERE. He only went faster. He didn't care at all. So, she pulled out her second weapon. She said, "Do you want me to call PawPaw?" He said no so she told him he better get down. Of course he did not get down and she did not get off her bottom. Why in the world would you threaten to CALL anyone? First of all what's PawPaw going to do Yell at the kid on the phone? Why do parents threaten kid's with other people? Okay, it still didn't end. She pulled out the ol' "I'm going to leave you" trick. You know that one. The kid won't obey so you threaten to leave him there to live on his own at McDonald's. Oh yeah, that sounds rough.

WHY?????

Randy and I were laughing so hard. She yelled at Alex from her seat until he finally got thirsty and came down when he wanted to. As they were leaving the lady stopped by to look at CASTBOY. She asked if he had problems with his legs. I said, "No, his legs are fine it's just that last time we came to McDonald's he wouldn't come out of the playground when I told him to so I broke both his legs. Next time he will listen to me!"

World's Finest Plastic

Randy spent all weekend working very hard on our kitchen table this weekend. He made me a beautiful table from the tree of our first home about 7 months ago. I just love it! Well, the wood had to dry out completley before he could finish staining and sealing it. So he worked all weekend sanding, filling in the cracks and putting coat after coat of sealer on it. The table is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. It's so glossy it looks like you could ice skate on the thing! I've caught myself walking by and just staring at it's beauty!
Well, this morning Spencer paid Randy a huge compliment for all his hard work! He came up to me and said, "Wow! That table looks Plastic!" I asked him what he meant and he said, "It's so shiny and nice that it looks like Plastic!"
So Randy, after hours and hours of work you finally made that solid wood table look like plasitc! Way to go!

I would like to CAST you into the sea!

Here's something the doctors didn't tell us...

Right now Randy is in the other room with Miles cutting part of his cast off. When we came back from Ft. Worth on Tuesday we realized that the cast was a little too snug. It's been a lot harder to change his diaper with this new cast. It's so close to his bottom that Randy's fingers are a little too big to tuck Miles diaper in correctly. It's even hard for me. There's just no room in there.

Well, every time I picked Miles up today he started to cry. This never happens! I could tell he was hurting. This evening we had plans to eat dinner with our nephew and niece at Texas Roadhouse. When we got Miles ready we saw that he had a sore on his bottom where his tail bone has been rubbing on the cast. It looked sore but we couldn't do anything at the time. We went to the RH and Miles was so cranky. He just kept crying and crying. Randy and I took turns the entire time standing outside with him. Let me tell you...Cast Boy is heavy! My back is hurting so bad right now!

On the way home we called a friend and asked him if he had any tin snips. He did so we picked them up and Randy just did surgery on the cast! He cut a big portion off his back and now he's putting fresh waterproof tape all around. When he cut the cast we were able to tell how bad the sore was. If we had waited another day Miles could have been in some serious pain! I feel terrible about it. I'm so glad that Randy was able to fix it! I wouldn't have let anyone else near Miles with that tool! Man, I'm glad Randy has skills!

Furniture...of all kinds.

It's been a while since my last post and for good reason. Monday Miles' wheelchair arrived at my house. I was totally shocked. I truly believed that Miles was going to be totally restored by the time the wheelchair got to my house. I really don't know what to say about that except my heart was broken. I was totally shocked! So was Randy. We just didn't know what we should say, think or feel about the whole thing. With everything in us we believed that Miles was going to be running around our house when the wheelchair man came to drop it off. When we got a call from the medical supply company and they told us that it had came in and they were dropping it off in 20 minutes we still believed. Randy was jumping around the house and as excited as could be. We still thought it was going to happen. The nurse was here and we thought she was about to get the show of her life!
When the medical supply guy drove up to our house and started to wheel that chair into my house my heart sank. Randy and I both totally went into auto pilot. The man explained everything about the chair and how to take it apart. He went over instructions. He was as excited as could be because he designed every detail of the chair for Miles. Randy and I were not rude but we were not jumping for joy like the man probably wished we were. The man was really disappointed because he couldn't adjust Miles to the chair yet since he is still casted. Well, before the man left he brought me a big stack of papers to sign. Every time I signed my name my heart broke more and my hope decreased that I would ever see my son do more than he does right now. By the time I signed everything I was totally numb. My head was spinning with questions and it pounded with pain.
When the man left, Randy and I sat on the couch and held Miles. Randy said that we should just try to process everything instead of talk. I went and laid down on my bed and I checked out of the world. I slept so hard for hours. When I woke up my heart was so heavy I could hardly get out of bed. We had to leave for Ft. Worth that day for Miles' cast change the next day. I kept trying to pack but every time I got up I found myself sitting on the bed just staring off into space. I couldn't seem to do anything.
While we were waiting for the man to drop off the chair I called Francesca and Rachel to tell them that it was on it's way. After my nap I called them to tell them that I was wrong about hearing God and it was two of the most painful phone calls I've ever made. My heart just felt ripped out. I felt inconsolable.
Over the next few days I got several phone calls, letters, visits and emails from friends telling me that they were sorry and tried to comfort me. I'm so thankful for not going through this alone. Without the people around me that love me and my family so dearly I think by now I would be bitter and I would have a hardened heart about Miles' healing. All my friends have been so compassionate. They don't make me feel like I'm not doing enough or brave enough or that I don't have enough faith. They are all so warm and caring to me. They all seem to have taken on this burden and want to help carry it. I don't know if any family is loved more than ours.
Over those days I was a wreck. I felt like I was in a cloud. I kept getting mad that everything around me kept going on and that I had to be a part of that! I had so many extra things going on this week and it didn't allow me to sit around and be upset like I wanted to. I know now that was a major blessing, and I knew it at the time but I didn't want to admit that! On Wednesday mornings my friends Rachel and Krissy come over for coffee. All the way home on Tuesday night from Ft. Worth I kept telling Randy that I wanted to cancel coffee but he wouldn't let me. I told him that I would let them come over but I wasn't going to like it and I wasn't going to act like I liked it! I later found out that it wouldn't have helped if I cancelled anyway! They had both already decided that they were going to come to coffee if I said they could or not. I just love that. Real friends will come over if you want them to or not.
I remember when all this first happened with Miles and we were at the hospital. I thought I didn't want to see anyone and all my friends wanted to come, but I told them not to. Pam called me and left me a message that said she was coming because we needed them. My friends did come and it ended up being one of my most treasured memories of all time. We sat outside with coffee and laughed and laughed at Pastor Brandon. He was doing some of the most outrageous things and I couldn't get enough of it.
Anyway, I enjoyed coffee with Rachel and Krissy. We actually didn't have any coffee Wednesday. I think I was being rebellious and I didn't make any. Krissy said, "That's okay. We don't really come here for the coffee."
So, before I tell you the good news. I will say that I was a mess. My heart really felt like it was broken and trying to harden. I was trying to decide if it was worth the pain to continue to HOPE for Miles to ever be healed. I thought I heard God so clearly and to find out that I didn't hear him really shook me. It made me question a million things. What's the point of praying if God's just going to do what he's going to do? How can we be life group leaders if our own son is a constant reminder that God hasn't done what we all think he should do? How can I serve people when I feel like dying myself? Basically it was every WHY and HOW question that I can think of and a few terrible questions that I don't even want to disclose.

The wheelchair is in our living room and no one wants to even look at it. No one will comment about it. Randy and I sit in our living room and we won't turn our bodies towards the thing. We haven't watched TV since Monday when we got it. I think it's because the wheelchair is right beside the TV and we just don't desire to have anything to do with it. You know, this is a $6,700 piece of equipment and we're acting like it's toxic waste! You may be asking...What's so bad about a wheelchair. Maybe you're not asking. Maybe you know, but in case you don't...It's the whole idea of it and what it stands for. It's saying, "My son should be doing things that he's not doing!" It's seems more permanent. It feels like once you go there that's where you stay. Anyway, it's upsetting. No one wants their child to have a wheelchair.

So, that was all the yucky stuff.

Yesterday morning I woke up and I was still in bed and I said, "God, I need to feel you close to me today. I know you are here but I need to feel you." Soon after that I got a call from Brenda. (An Elder from our church.) She told me that the church wanted to buy our bedroom furniture that we had picked out!!!! Before we moved into our new home Randy and I picked out some bedroom furniture that is absolutely beautiful! It really appeals to my Princess heart! When we saw it the first time we both knew it was just what we wanted. At the time we really felt like Kathy Hawk (Another Elder from our church) was going to buy it for us. That was seven months ago. Randy even talked to Kathy one time to tell her that we thought she was going to buy our furniture for us. Well, we never heard anything from her and we honestly gave up hope on that idea very recently. We thought, "Well, I guess we were wrong and we will just made due with what we have."
When Brenda called and told me that the church was buying our beautiful furniture I was screaming happy! What was really neat was that them giving us furniture wasn't just some pitty gift to make us distracted from the wheelchair arrival. Brenda told me, "We want this furniture to be a reminder to keep your heart soft." When she said that I just felt my heart melt. I really felt a release from the heaviness that I had been carrying for several days. I couldn't get the cheesy grin off my face! I called a ton of people to tell them my wonderful news! I went right over to the furniture store to make sure they still had what I wanted. I ended up going to that store three times yesterday! I wasn't embarrassed at all! The first time it was just Melody and I that went. The next time it was Randy, Me, Melody and Miles. The third time it was Randy, Me, Jim, Brenda, Joey, Spencer, Jocie, Melody and Miles! The lady that had been helping me all day asked me, 'Who are all these extra kids?" Mine of course!
Anyway, they bought our stuff last night! They bought us a bed. It's a huge, four post gorgeous bed that I will probably have the rest of my life! We also got a dresser with a mirror. The dresser is tall and has slate squares on top. Some of the drawers are lined with black velvet!!! We also got a night stand. It's so big that I only wanted one of them. It also has the lined drawer and the slate tiles. We also got the bedding that was on the bed. (New ones of course) It's so beautiful! I wouldn't be able to find anything I liked better! Normally you might not think the bedding is me, but it is the bedroom me. :) AND!!!! We also got the most beautiful armoire ever! It's so beautiful! I love it so much! It's such a treasure! It just looks rich!
When I first went to the store yesterday the saleslady was saying that it could take 2 to 4 to 6 weeks to get all the pieces of furniture in. She said that she has four other stores and that she would call to see if they had any of the pieces. If they didn't then she would have to order if from Ashley and it could take 6 weeks. Well, at lunch I was telling Jim and Brenda this and Jim said, "No, it's going to be at her other stores in the name of Jesus!". When I went the second time to the store she said that her other store did have the other pieces and that a guy from there was already coming to Abilene the next day and that he would bring my stuff!!!! The lady told me that she could have it delivered and set up in my house on MONDAY! When I saw Jim next and told him the news he gave me a big High Five! It was cute.
So the whole day was s huge rush! It was so fun planning, and deciding and picking out and calling everyone about my furniture! But it was more than that...

It did something more than just meet a furniture desire. I sent an IM to Brenda last night thanking her for being a part of our special day. I told her that the timing of the furniture was perfect. We had picked it out about 7 months ago, but getting it yesterday was so much better than getting it the day we found it. It was perfect timing and getting it did more than I could have thought possible. It brought hope back to Randy and I. As I was writing the message I thought about Miles. I thought about the restoration of Miles body. When it happens the timing will be perfect. I will be glad it didn't happen by the time the wheelchair came. Also, I know that Miles' healing will do more than I can even imagine.

How did getting furniture yesterday restore Hope? Who knows? I do know that without Hope I have nothing. With Faith I have salvation and that means that my eternal life will be forever with my Maker. Hope is the thing that is needed here on earth until eternity. A few days ago I was thinking that it was going to be too painful to keep Hope alive. I thought that is was too disappointing, but again, I realize that Hope is what makes this life with Jesus exciting.

Randy & His Candy

Well, it's taken 10 years of marriage, but the honeymoon is over. We went to the movies on our anniversary date, and Randy brought along some Now-n-Laters candy to snack on. Well, when we found our seat he put his candy under his bottom "so they can get warm" he explained. I told him that was not first date material.

As if that wasn't enough when he got up to go get a soda he tossed the candy to me to have me sit on them while he was gone.

I did.

I told him that I wasn't going to admit sitting on his candy, but I Did.

S-T-I-N-K-Y!

Oh my goodness Miles stinks! He has a sponge bath every day but it doesn't help on the odor! Starting last Wednesday which was 3 weeks and one day after he had his cast put on he started smelling. The smell is definitly a sweat and urine mixture. It's so yucky and over powering! Yesterday at church Randy asked me if I thought Miles had a dirty diaper. I leaned over to smell him and I said, "No, it's his cast." Well, I thought for a minute and decided there was no way just his cast could be that stinky so Randy took him out of the service to see if he had a dirty diaper. He quickly returned and it was just his cast that smelled. I held him all during church and I left there so nauseated! Last night I was holding him and my stomach hurt from the smell!

I've been telling people that he stinks and here's the suggestions that I've received. Someone said that I should sprinkle baking soda down the cast to absorb the odor. That wouldn't work because the powder gets cakey. Then someone said FaBreeze. I thought that might work, but I didn't want to spray it on his skin. I thought it might irritate it. Then, someone said, "Why don't you spray him with feminine spray?" You know Summer's Eve stuff? Randy said, "Well, it is for sensitive skin!". :) So, last night we all went to Wal-Mart and shopped for feminine spray. We didn't have anything else to buy there so all seven of us were staring at the feminine product incap. Randy couldn't take it so he sent all the kids to look at the Band-Aids while we figured out what in the world to buy.

I told Randy that I didn't want to get a scent that smells like a woman. He thought we should find a manly smell, but believe it or not that they don't sell manly feminine spray! They had scents like Tropical Rain Forrest, Baby Powder and something floral. Randy sprayed the floral and I had to put my foot down! I did not want my son smelling like a panty liner! Then we found a scent that was called "SUPER ULTRA". We laughed so hard! That was the smell! SUPER ULTRA! We thought about the woman that would buy such a product! It had to be a serious problem if only the scent SUPER ULTRA would work. We smelled SUPER ULTRA then sprayed some on his cast. We decided this was the scent for us! It actually worked!

So we went through the self check out. I was not about to go through a line with five children at 8:30 on a Sunday night only buying SUPER ULTRA feminine spray! As we were walking to our car we saw two college age friends of ours going inside. Both Boys. Randy went to go chase them down and before he went through the door he threw the bag of spray at me. I picked it up and the whole time we were talking to the guys I was hiding the spray behind my back! I didn't want to get into the reasons we were buying SUPER ULTRA feminine spray.

When we got home Randy was changing Miles and Spencer went over to take a big whiff of Miles cast. He started making gagging noises and yelling about how bad Miles smelled. After Randy sprayed Miles all over I told Spencer to go smell him again. "Much Better" he said. It really does work!

This morning before I went into the grocery store the nurse Christy called me to ask me a couple of things. While I had her on the phone I told her why that feminine spray was in there and she said, "I figured that's why it was in here. I wasn't going to ask".

So, if you have SUPER ULTRA odor problems of any kind...Summer's Eve feminine spray for $2.86 will do you nicely.

September 2, 2006

Cast Boy & The Girls

Yesterday

I should have blogged this yesterday to get to full emotion in it, but by now the Lord has settled me. The reason I'm still writing about what happened to me yesterday is because I think a whole chapter of my book in the making will be about situations like this one.

So, yesterday the nurse Christy and I decided that we needed to take Miles to see the pediatrician because he's been acting strange. He hasn't been running a fever but you can tell he doesn't feel well. We weren't sure if he was sick or if he was having hip trouble or not. Now, Christy could have taken Miles by herself, but I'm still adjusting to her taking care of him much less her taking him to the doctor without me! All my other kids were in other places all over town so I decided to go with her. (Joey and Spencer were at school, Jocie was at Mother's Day Out, and Melody was at the library with her Grandma) So, I'm running the kids all over town to drop them off, and I had to stop and get Miles' medicaid card. Since I've moved his card does not come to our house so when he has an appointment (which is always) I have to go to the Medicaid office to pick up his card for the month. I've put in address changes at that office but it hasn't worked. They finally told me that I have to go to another office to change the address because he is a special needs child. Oh, and I've tried to be on top of things by going up there at the beginning of the month so I will have his card before I need it, but that's against the rules. You can only get a temp. aard on the day of the appt. (I know most of that was probably of no interest to you, but you have to keep that book in mind.) So, you can see by 9:00 I've already done a day's worth of thinking.
As I'm about to go in to get the card I realized that I'm about to go to the pediatrician's office. Insight: For me one of the hardest places to go is the pediatrician's office. It's filled with normal kids and bored parents. I just don't like going there at all anymore. I called a friend to pray for me so I would not get depressed after leaving there. I explained to Christy (nurse) why going there is hard for me. First of all, having Miles at the house and around my friends and stuff is different because he's just adorable and lovable Miles. I don't have to explain anything. I don't have to wonder what they're thinking. At the office either people don't talk to me at all or people talk to me too much and both are terrible. Christy told me that I shouldn't let it bother me. I gave her the look like...easier said than done. She soon saw my point.

Okay, so we go to Dr. Wiley's office and we're in the waiting room. People are all around us and No One speaks to us. I'm there, and Christy is there in her scrubs holding Miles in his big ol' cast and no one talks to us. They stare a little, but no words. It wasn't too bad. I was fine with it. The whole appointment went well. I was feeling good. I didn't feel sad at all. I actually had a great time with Christy. We're becoming quick friends. Well, Dr. Wiley ordered X-rays for Miles so we could make sure his hip was still in place. Miles did have an ear infection so we were all pretty sure that was his problem, but we all agreed that x-rays would make us feel better. (By the way his hip is still in place. I didn't want to make you have to wait on that info.)

So, we leave the office to get x-rays. The x-ray place is in the same building but another office. We walked in the x-ray office and it was packed! I've been in there before and it has always been super quick but not yesterday! I actually had to stand because there were no more chairs. Christy was holding Miles so I let her sit in the open chair. I signed in and all that. Well, like I said the place was packed. There was a girl there in a wheelchair/bed in the office with her Mom and her nurse. The girl was 15. She couldn't do anything at all. She was covered in blankets and was totally handicapped. Well, her Mom looked at Miles and it was like she knew the whole situation. A lot of people look at Miles and think he's sleepy. This drives Randy and I absolutely crazy! I'm telling you...The wrong person is going to say something about Miles being sleepy one day and they are going to get an ear full from Randy or I. It's not going to be pretty. I'm already feeling sorry for that person! Miles is not sleepy...That's his personality or lack of. Anyway, this lady knew he was not sleepy.

Before I go on...I want you to understand this lady's heart. She was full of compassion. She wanted to help me. I know she did. Her motives are not questioned here. I just want you to have a good picture of her. She's been doing what I've been doing for 15 years and she wanted to help me and be a comfort to me. She was not any of these things to me but she wanted to be.

As soon as she saw me she began to ask me questions about Miles. She seemed to know what his deal was already, but she just kept asking me questions. Let me remind you that the room was packed. These people were bored so they were all listening to our conversation. I didn't really want to answer all her questions so I would answer her and then turn my body towards Christy in the opposite direction to talk to her. Well, that lady would just ask something else about Miles or ask me if I knew about this program or that program for Miles. It went on and on. She asked me when I started using nurse care. I told her that it was just a week ago. She told me how she waited so long because she thought she could do it all herself, but it got too hard. Now, I had not told her that I knew Miles was going to be healed. I had just told her medical things.

So here's the picture...She now knows all the info about Miles. She knows that I have help from a nurse and then the whole thing changed. The room is still full. She turns to me so seriously and says, "I know how you feel. I know exactly how you feel. I was in denial for a long time about my daughter. For 11 years I thought she was going to be fine. I thought she was going to walk and do things. I would see it in my dreams and she was fine. So, I know how you feel."

I was shocked! I felt so laid bare in front of all those people. My body physically felt like I had been thrown up against a wall by her words. I said in a quiet voice, "I'm not ready for that" and I started crying right there in the waiting room. I was so embarrassed and upset that I was crying in front of all those people. Her words were too much! She said that it was okay that I wasn't ready to accept it. She said that it took her 11 years. Then, she came over and hugged me. This was as bad as me crying! Oh, my goodness I wanted to crawl in a hole! This kind of behavior is totally unacceptable behavior for me! I was so stunned by it all. I felt like I was on display in front of all these people with my secret fear laid out in the middle of the room. It was horrible!

I turned to Christy and said, "Do you see what I mean about people talking too little or people talking too much?" She did understand.

So, after the appointment I called my friend to tell her just how the appointment went. I asked her, "What am I supposed to do with this? In one realm believing totally that Miles is going to be healed is called faith. In another realm is called denial!" WHICH IS IT? Is it easier to believe that Miles is going to be healed than it is to believe that he isn't? Is it easier to have hope or to be hopeless. I picked the right friend to call yesterday because she is full of truth. She explained to me that the Lord has told me that Miles is going to be healed. She reminded me of Numbers 23:19 "God is not a man, that he should lie. He is not a human, that he should change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?" From that scripture most of you can tell that my friend was Francesca. She was saying that she didn't know that lady's situation or belief, but she knew mine. God has not told me that this is the way Miles is going to be. If he had told me that for some reason then I could accept it, but he has not said that to me. God has only told me that he will heal Miles so I'm not in denial.

It's amazing what truth will do! It really does bring freedom! That lady's words tried to attach to me and make me think that I was in denial, but it didn't work. God has told me that Miles will be healed. God is not a man that he would lie. He's not a human that he would change his mind. I cannot think of a time when he has spoken and failed to act. I can't think of a time he has promised and not carried it through. God is who he says he is and he will do what he says he will do.

So, I'm better now. I do have to tell you the other hilarious part of the waiting room! It saved me! It did make me look emotionally unstable, but it was worth it. There was this young mom in there with her daughter who is 2. The grandma was also with them. The little girl had a hurt foot that had to be x-rayed. This Mom was so loud and talked nonstop. She was the only thing that took attention off of my drama which I'm so thankful for. She was outrageous with the things she would talk about! She was shameless with her dysfunction! Everyone was cracking up in the waiting room when she would say outrageous things. I have inherited the inability to control myself from laughing in bad situations. I got this from my Mom. If I find something funny I have to laugh at all cost. If I try to stop it makes it much worse! This was one of those situations! This lady was so loud! She was on the phone a lot of time talking to her Dad I think. She was saying something about her boyfriend was out doing community service (funny), he had already been to Skinny's to fill out an application (funnier), but they don't hire felons (hilarious!). I laughed so hard at this conversation. The older lady next to me was more composed than I, but she was indeed tickled! Christy was laughing as well. Now, I think under normal circumstances she would have been able to control herself, but with me laughing so hard so was also laughing hard. The receptionist even told us that we were having way too much fun. She knew exactly why we were laughing and that made it all funnier. Then the lady started talking about how she just got a NEW probation officer. She explained how they keep trading her off. This was too much! I was laughing shamelessly. Of course I was laughing at her! There was nothing else going on! She could have accused me of laughing at her and I would have to admit openly that I was indeed laughing at her. I would have got away with it to because one minute before that I was crying in front of the whole room. Plus we had just had the whole yucky hug episode. I'm not sure that the Lord himself didn't put that girl in the room just to help me out of the spotlight a bit. Anyway, it was funny! As soon as Christy and I got to the other room we laughed so hard about how everything had played out. We couldn't believe our morning already.

:)

I'm going to see Jesus walk on the water.

I was doing my WOW homework while sitting at Subway and I received some wonderful revelation!!!

We were to read Matthew 14:22-33. It's about when Jesus walks on the water. Of course I've read the story before but today there was more insight into the situation. After reading the passage the question in the homework was, "Did the wind die down before or after Christ told his disciples not to be afraid?" The answer is After. Then it asked, "What would be the basis of their courage since the storm continued to rage?"

I really had to think about this. The basis of their courage was the fact that Jesus was God so they should have been comforted that He was going to take care of them.

This is what Beth Moore said about this situation:
The point is not that we have nothing to fear and that cowardice is simply an unreasonable state of mind. His presence is the basis for courage in our storms. Christ did not say, "Take courage! I am calming the storm. Don't be afraid." Instead, with the winds still raging, He said, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." He does not always immediately calm the storm, but He is always willing to calm His child on the basis of His presence. "Don't worry! I'm right here! I know the winds are raging and the winds are high, but I am God over both. If I let them continue to swell, it's only because I want you to see me walk on the water. This set of prints can be seen only in the storm. I'm in this with you, and I love you more than you'll ever know." We'll probably never learn to enjoy our storms, but we can learn to enjoy God's presence in the storm!

Oh my goodness this is good! This is just what I was talking about with the whole bean spout and Oak of Righteousness thing! Jesus could have just stopped the storm like he had before, but the disciples would not have seen him walk on the water. Jesus could have already rescued me from all this with Miles then I would not have the privilege to see him walk on the water. It's so exciting! I loved the part where it talks about that Jesus knows the winds are raging and the waves are high, but if he continues to let them swell it's only because he wants me to see him walk on the water. What a life changing day that will be.

Verse 33 says, "Then the disciples worshiped him, "You really are the Son of God!" they exclaimed.

Bean Sprout Verses Oak of Righteousness

I’ve decided I would like to be an Oak of Righteousness instead of a bean. Lately I’ve been tired and I’ve been worn out from all the “growing” I’ve had to do. Next month my son Miles will turn two years old. This means that for almost everyday of the last two years I have been in the biggest trial of my life. On a recent Sunday after church I was laying in my bed talking to my husband about how long it’s been and how hard it’s been when I saw a picture in my head. I saw a window seal in a Kindergarten class room with rows of plastic cups filled with bean sprouts. When I saw that picture I instantly understood what I was seeing. You know, there’s a reason that Kindergarten teachers let their students grow bean sprouts. A bean will grow quickly. A normal Kindergartener’s attention span usually is that of a bean so it’s fitting. As I was thinking of this I felt like I had to make a choice if I wanted to sprout out of this trial and be a bean or did I want to continue with this trial and become an Oak of Righteousness. A bean is here today, eaten tomorrow and gone forever. An Oak tree lasts for generations. Later that evening I was doing my homework for Women of Worth and this is the verse I read. Isaiah 61:1-3. In verse 3 it says, “And provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” The Lord is about to do that for me. He is about to heal my son Miles from brain damage. He is giving me beauty for ashes, joy for my mourning, praise instead of despair. He is making me into an oak of righteousness for his own glory.
God wants to do the same for you. What is that thing or process in your life that you would like to give up and be a bean about? Don’t give up! Don’t be a bean! Decide that you want to stick with the Lord as he makes you into a strong and graceful oak of righteousness for his own glory! Take on the motto of our house, “It’s Gonna Be Worth It!”

Nurse Care & Friends

Today went so great and smooth. It was a day that was planned by the Lord and I feel closer to Him for His goodness! The nurse seems perfect for our family. Her name is Kristy. I think she will fit right in. She is the mother of small children as well so my house probably feels a lot like home to her. She took to Miles just fine and took great care of him. After she left this afternoon Miles was all clean and fed so I just got to snuggle him up and kiss him all over. It was so nice. I explained to Miles why I shared him today and he didn't seem to mind a bit.

Another great thing is that my two wonderful friends Krissy and Rachel came over this morning and we laughed the morning away. It was so great. It took all the emotion out of having a nurse in my home. I felt so refreshed by having them in my home. We sat around drinking coffee and sitting on our bottoms all morning long. It was unusal and wonderful. We were an encouragment to each other and acted like silly girls. I just know the Lord set up the whole thing and I feel so thankful to Him for how personal and amazing He is. There really is no other God like our Jesus!

Of course the nurse probably thinks I don't do anything all day...tomorrow she gets a real dose of the Wilson house, but I will treasure this day in my heart. It was a real blessing to me today.

Any Day, Any Minute, Any Second

I'm telling you that my son Miles is about to be healed by Jesus Christ! The Lord is getting ready to show off! He is sending as many people (medical people mostly) as He can for them to meet Miles before He does an incredible miracle in Miles' body. In the last month Miles has met about 50 new people. Some of them in the medical field some not. Today alone 4 people were in my home at different times this morning concerning Miles. 3 of those people did not know Miles 3 weeks ago. At Wal-Mart I ran into two people that know Miles because of the blind services that he gets. One of them has been into my home to sign Miles up for vision therapy. She is the coordinator for all blind services in this district which includes Lubbock. I saw her and talked to her for about 20 minutes at Wal-Mart because she wanted to know everything about Miles' progress which of today is none. She had her partner with her and she's also seen Miles before. It's incredible to watch his plan unfold before my eyes.

Miles' Physical Therapist has been talking to me for awhile about getting a nurse for Miles. I've also been firm on the fact that I don't need one. Well, a week and a half ago I caught myself looking up the number and calling Kinder Hearts which is a home health care center. Even while I was looking up the number I thought it was strange. I called her and everything moved so quickly. The lady on the phone made an appointment with me last week to come over and sign papers and explain the program with me. I didn't really plan on using the health care. I just thought maybe the Lord wanted her to meet Miles before he healed him. So, I let her come over and she brought another nurse with her. So, I was thinking...okay here's two more nurses to meet Miles. Well, we did all the paperwork and Leslie (the RN) explained that everyone gets denied the first time they apply for home nurse care but not to worry because they were just starting the process and they would work hard to get us some nurse hours. She told me that it takes 10 days before they deny the first time then she would go from there. Then she explained that if it didn't go through the next time then she had another program that she would try to get Miles in. So, needless to say I thought we would be trapped in paperwork until Miles was healed. That was not the case. Leslie called me TODAY to tell me that Miles was approved the first time with 20 hours a week! I was still in shock when she also told me that she already had a nurse set up and she wants to start TOMORROW!!!!! Part of me totally wanted to freak out about this whole thing, but I just had peace that the Lord was doing all of these things. Believe me, I have become familiar with paperwork hold up! It's nuts in the medical field. For me to sign papers last week and a nurse be coming to my home in the morning it can only be the Lord.

She will be here from 7:45 in the morning to 12:45 in the afternoon. I got to pick the hours. Last week I couldn't stand the thought of a nurse in my home everyday taking care of my child, but today the Lord has given me an excitement and a peace about the whole thing. I'm totally looking at this as a blessing. The nurse is going to be the nurse and I'm going to be the Mom. While she's here she will bathe him, feed him, stretch him, give him all his medicine, move him into different positions, be with him during his therapy sessions, play with him on the floor....and did I mention that for 5 hours a day I WON'T HAVE TO CHANGE HIS DIAPERS? It's true! She will take care of taping his cast for me. Oh my goodness...I'm excited for me, for Miles and for this precious woman that is going to be in my home 4 days a week and she will have a front row seat to see the Lord show off! She will be forever changed just like the rest of us.

So, that's what I've been doing today. I've been hanging out with medical people and knowing the whole time the higher purpose of our meeting. I feel like I'm partnered up with Jesus and we're on a secret mission to change the world. It feels great.

Can't Think Of A Clever Title

This is a strange time in my life. I don't think I've experienced these kinds of feelings before. I'm not depressed, but I don't feel very fun. I feel focused on the upcoming spectacular events that are about to take place in my life and I'm serious about them. I'm having trouble finding joy in anything that's of this earth. I have no interest in a party that I know will be totally fun. I want to opt out of a Six Flags trip that was my idea in the first place. I don't want to sit around scrapbooking or watch TV. I just don't feel like having fun.

I was getting upset at the fact that I've tried to voice my opinion about my feelings, and not receiving feedback until I think I realized what's going on. I believe I'm being led into the wilderness by the Spirit. The only things I find pleasure in are the things of the Lord. The only thing that interests me is the Word of God and hearing his voice. Everything else seems burdensome and pointless. I'm not saying that other things around me should not go on. I'm just not feeling a longing to be a part of them.

I think the Lord is preparing my spirit for all the things to come. I need to be so focused on Him that when these things take place I will be in one accord with His plan. It gives me peace to know that I'm not depressed and that I'm not always going to turn down fun. I'm just on a more serious path right now. On day one of the Breaking Free homework Beth Moore was writing about how someone came up to her at a speaking engagement and said, "I've heard you before. You used to be funnier." Her response was, "Life used to be funnier." That's me at this very moment.

Is life still good? Yes. Very Good. It's just not as funny right now. It's okay because I'm enjoying being in the presence of God in a rich and intimate way.

He spoke to me at WOW the other night. It was a beautiful voice. It was so gentle that it's still touching to me when I think about it. We're doing this series on Breaking Free and I went with my "usual suspects" lists of things I want to be free from, but when we were quiet and I was asking God what he wanted from me during this he spoke to my Spirit so sweetly! He said, "Believe Me." Again, thinking about His voice puts me at rest. Believing God was not on the usual suspect list. As a matter of fact it's the title of the last series that WOW did that I didn't go to.

What would happen if I believed every single promise in the Bible? What if I didn't try to find the loop hole in the promise? What if I didn't doubt, question or ignore what and who God is? I am going to be breaking free of Unbelief. When this happens I know the "Usual Suspect" list will follow.

Bare with me dear friends while I step back a little bit and depend on the Lord for all my confidence.

Wish I had time to entertain you.

Aw, so many things to blog and so little time to do it.

Shopping Day

I guess I was feeling brave again today because I took Miles and Melody to H-E-B and Dillard's with me. Two funny things happened while I was gone.

Funny thing #1
At Dillard's there's this lady that always waits on me. She's so nice. Overly nice really. She calls everyone "shoog" and "hun". I really like her. Well, today when she was cashing me out she was trying to help me in any was she could. I had the wagon which is not Dillard's friendly. I had a huge Dillard's bag, the diaper bag, my purse, I was holding Miles because he had started crying, Melody was hopping around so she asked me if she could do anything to help. I couldn't think of anything that she could do so she asked if she could zip the diaper bag-No. She asked if she could zip my purse-No. So, she watched as I piled the wagon high with all the bags and started to wheel away. She came around the counter and gave Melody a big hug and kissed her on the top of the head then said, "You be a good girl today and help your Mommy". Melody, who hardly talks to anyone outside of the home says with a big grin, "You don't say dat! Me not doing dat!". I was shocked and very tickled at the whole thing. I couldn't believe she said that. It was so uncharacteristic for her to do that.

Funny thing #2
As I have mentioned people stare at Miles in the wagon when I go places but they have not dared to ask me what happened to him. Even the nice Dillard's lady who I could tell was concerned about Miles and I didn't ask. She just looked at him sadly. This was Not the case at H-E-B today. Who would have guessed but the men at H-E-B were heart broken about Miles this morning! They were all stopping me and asking me what happened to Miles. There were no women at all that asked but there were plenty of men that did! They were falling over themselves to do nice things for Miles this morning. This one tattooed worker who had just cut himself and was looking for a band-aid stopped me and asked me what in the world happened to him. I told him that his hip was dislocated so he had to have surgery. The man had such a sad look on his face then he asked me how old Miles was. I told him a year and a half and he got a little choked up and said, "I have a year and a half son at home." Then he ran over and got a balloon and tried to hand it to Miles. He didn't take it from the man of course so I just told the man he was doped up at the moment. I couldn't break the guy's heart any further. Then, another man worker heard us talking and came over and gave Miles a ton of "H-E-B Buddy Bucks" which are gold to my kids. Little Melody was standing by me like, "Hey, where's my stuff". The guys ended up giving her some stuff too. Anyway, the whole thing was so funny! Even on the way in an older man stopped me to ask about Miles. He acted a lot like Jim Becker. I made sure and gave him the right answer so he didn't try to beat me up.

So now I'm curious. I'm going to keep taking note on how many women verses men ask me about Miles during these cast days. I know the women want to know. They stare at him in the wagon and as they pass I can see them talking to who ever they are with about it. Men, they don't over think how I might feel answering the same question all day long. (I don't care by the way.) They see a kid with two casts on being toted in a wagon and they want to know what's going on. I know there is a lesson to be found here. I will keep you updated on my findings.

SOON

OKay, in the mail today I got a letter from Miles' insurance that said that they were pleased to inform me that they have approved Miles' wheelchair. It was dated 8-2-06.

I don't know how much longer it should take now that it's approved but the "paperwork" part is done.

I believe the Lord spoke to me back in May that Miles will be totally restored before the wheelchair was delievered to my house.

My heart was pounding as I was reading the approval letter!!!!!

CONFESSION: Monday of this week I had the blinds in my living room opened and I could see cars passing. Well, I was sitting on the couch holding Miles when I saw a Medical Equipment truck driving slowly down my block. My heart stopped! I couldn't believe it! Soon I saw it turn around and drive away. I'm telling you I wish I could have a print out of the thoughts that passed through my mind during those 2 minutes. I wasn't sure if Miles was about to be healed before the guy rang the doorbell or if I had missed God. It was a whirlwind of emotions!

As I write this I wish that I could transfer what I'm feeling. I'm more excited than a kid waiting for Christmas! Even a kid that has snuck into the presents and already knows that he's getting the very present he's been begging for a year and a half to recieve! I mean, when I say fully restored I mean Miles will be running, walking, crawling, fighting, smiling, laughing, eating, pulling hair like any kid his age! What a front row seat I have to watch this miracle!

As I wait for this healing before the wheelchair I have left no Plan B.

Gatti's Gatti's We're all going to Gatti's!

Today I had to be out of the house for an hour with all of the kids before I could take the three small ones to grandma's for the afternoon. The house cleaner comes on Tuesday afternoons so I leave so she can clean without having to re-clean a million times.

As you know Miles' legs are casted so that limits places like the park. I have to keep him in places with air conditioning because it's like he has little heaters on his legs. So, I was thinking about where I could go and then I remembered that I had 4 free Gatti coupons in my purse. Normally I would have dismissed that idea extremely quickly, but I was feeling brave.

When we got in the car I told the kids that I was planning on taking them to Gatti's, but that I was going to need a TON of help from them! They all eagerly agreed! On the way there I explained that we may play games and we may not. It just depended on if I thought it would be crazy or not. I warned them that even if they were good that we still might not be able to play games. I just wasn't sure. There was no complaining to my last comment so I was encouraged that their attitude was just right for such a trip. On the way there Spencer said, "You sure are brave Mom to take all of us kids with only one of you!" I smiled and agreed.

When we got there I was amazed at Joey's speediness. In a matter of seconds he had Melody, Jocie and Miles unbuckled from their car seats. As I was getting out the wagon for Miles to ride in the kids were waiting for me patiently at the end of the Suburban and Joey was opening up the door so I could get Miles out of his seat. I let out a breath of relief to see that this was going to be fun. Everyone was happy, everyone was helpful, and they were all pleasant to one another. As I put Miles in his little wagon Joey shut one of the back doors and Spencer shut the other and we were off!

We had to go in through the EXIT because the wagon wouldn't fit in their entrance. All the kids stayed with Miles while I paid. The people in line let me cut to the front since I had such a group with me. :) (perks) We got to a table that we could all fit in and I asked Joey if he was up for the challenge of being the "Drink Man". He said that he was. All the kids started telling Joey what drink they wanted, but I told Joey that he could pick all the drinks. He took 2 at a time and came back with his proud concoctions. After the first round of drinks I knew this was note worthy so I began to jot down all the drinks he made. Here's a list.

1. Diet Lemon Pepsi
2. Cherry Dr. Pepper
3. Lemon Rootbeer
4. Lemon Sunkist
5. Vanilla Rootbeer
6. Cherry Diet Pepsi
7. Mountain Dew
8. Vanilla Lemon Cherry Big Red
9. Cherry 7-Up

The worst of these belonged to Melody and it was the Diet Lemon Pepsi. Every time she took a drink she wrinkled up her nose and said, "Yucky". She had to trade hers in for "One like Sessors". (Spencer's)

There was a total of 6 refills while we were there and one spill.

I let Joey get his own food. Spencer got his own food and that went so well I asked him to get a plate for Melody. He was happy to be a helper so he ran to get her pizza. He did make her plate with the kinds of pizza that she likes. He was so excited that he did it he raised the plate in the air to show me and ended up dropping all the pizza on the floor. He looked up at me with a big embarrassed grin them quickly picked it all up, put it back on the plate and served it to Melody. Part of me wanted to send him back in line with a clean plate and fresh pizza. That part of me didn't win. I was just glad to have three out of five plates made.

So we were sitting there and people kept looking at Miles and whispering about him to whoever they were sitting with. I was wondering why people just didn't ask what happened to him instead of trying to figure it out on their own. I found it humorous. You could see that they wanted to know, but they wouldn't dare ask. (I don't think I would have either.)

The rest of the lunch went well. I did forget to put Ranch on my salad, but I was already sitting down so I just ate the salad without any dressing. It wasn't too bad. The kids were so enjoyable that I decided games would be just fine as long as we all stayed together. Usually I let them run all over and gather them at the end, but this time that wasn't going to work. First of all I've never taken them all by myself, and secondly I didn't want to have to wheel Miles all over that place looking for 4 kids for the rest of the afternoon.

So, they agreed and we cashed in our $8 of quarters for tokens. We were playing the bowling game and Miles fell asleep in his pillowed wagon. It was so loud in there I think he felt right at home. While we were playing this lady came up to me and asked me what happened to Miles. I gave her the brief answer of his hip was dislocated so he had to have surgery. I never can tell what information people really want about Miles. The lady said something like. "Oh, poor baby" and then went off to chase her kid. Then she came back and wanted to know how it happened. I told her that he had tone issues in his legs that made it happen. She didn't understand so I explained that his muscles were tight and blah blah blah. She went off again and then came back with another question. I decided to give her the whole story about when Miles died in his sleep and all that. While I was telling her the story she stopped me and said, "Wait a minute. I think I've heard your story on the radio." She had heard the letter that Randy had sent into KGNZ for the Mother's Day Spa Getaway. It was a wonderful letter and I ended up winning the Spa Day. I told her that it was me and so then we started talking some more.

She told me that when she heard that letter it made her cry and it humbled her. She said that she only has two kids and she complains about what it takes to take care of them but compared to what I have to do it's nothing. She kept saying, "I can't believe I got to meet you!" It was like I was a celebrity or something. (That was nice for the ego.) She also said that the letter made me sound like the best mother in the world. (Again, nice for the ego.) Anyway, it was so nice to talk to her. She's already plugged into a church so I didn't invite her to ours, but I did give her my number so she could call and check up on Miles. I told her that I don't know why this whole thing happened but I do know that the Lord is going to totally restore and heal Miles. I told her that the next time I run into her Miles will probably be running around.

So I left there proud of my children, encouraged that these things that I'm going through is already an encouragment to others, and once again excited about Miles being healed by Jesus Christ!

Back Home

Well, we're back home! The surgery went smoothly. On Tuesday when we saw the doctor he wasn't sure if Miles' hip would go back in or not. He was worried about it, but during the surgery he said that everything went into place easily. After Dr. Messer did what he needed to do he decided that Miles' didn't need the Spica cast. (that's the one that was above his waist) Dr. Messer casted Miles from the top of his legs and covered his feet except for his cute toes. This means that diapering is a lot easier...still takes some figuring out but nothing like it would have. Randy can already change Miles' diaper by himself but I haven't mastered it yet. I will soon enough though because we have to change him every two hours so he doesn't leak.
Recovery for him yesterday was rough. He cried for almost a whole day. He was in so much pain. The nurses gave him every thing they could but it didn't help much. Today was much better! I've been keeping his pain medication in him and that's helped. He actually slept a little today and even smiled when he heard Spencer's voice.
I'm really glad to be home. I'm so tired from being at that hospital. Hopefully I will get some good rest tonight...between diaper changes! Poor Randy got sick at the hospital! He went to the Minor Emergency Clinic when we got home and they said he has strep throat!!!! He got a shot on the bottom so hopefully he will feel better sometime tomorrow.
I will have to send a picture of Miles soon. Believe it or not he looks adorable in his big red casts! Over half of his body is covered in red fiberglass. He has a big rod separating his legs. He looks uncomfortable, but I think he feels okay. I'm excited about what this cast is going to do for his legs and ankles. They're going to be so straight.
The doctor said to expect about a week of pain and then he should be feeling better. Already he's doing better today than he did yesterday.
So far the report is...It's a lot better than I thought it would be. It will take some adjustments but I know it's going to be okay.

The other day I was wondering what people at Wal-Mart were going to think when they saw this cute baby being hauled around in a wagon with his big red casts sticking up in the air. Randy and I began to think of funny T-shirts he could wear. Here's a few we came up with...if you have a good one email me because I may get a couple of these made. He won't be able to wear pants or shorts for several weeks so he needs some cute shirts. Here's what we came up with:

*Don't even ask!

*You should see the other guy!

*Give my Mommy money or she will break my arms to!
(I'm getting this one for sure!)

*BEWARE OF MELODY!

*They dared me to do it!

*They're serious when they say to keep arms and legs inside the roller coaster at all times!

*Please hold all questions and comments.


Well, I've got three kids in the bath tub, Randy and Miles to take care of, unpacking to do, laundry to sort and sleep to catch up on...I better go for now. Please continue to pray that Miles will adjust to sleeping on his back, and for his pain to go away quickly, and that Randy and I will quickly learn ways to take care of Miles the best.

The Plan

Miles surgery was changed again. It will be this coming Wednesday. So, we will be at Cooks on Tue, Wed and Thursday.

Yesterday he had his Botox injections and everything went just fine. I was pleased. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. The nurse gave Miles some pain medication when we first got there. After it was working Dr. Marks took Randy and I to another room. He asked which one of us was going to hold him down and I assured him that would be Randy. He laughed and said that Dad's weren't very good at the job. He was telling me that he hears some pretty strange excuses from Dad's that don't want to be in the room. He said that the funniest one was a few years back when a couple was in there and right before the doctor got started he said in a panicked voice, "I just remembered that I have to call my Mom". Dr. Marks said that he rushed out of the room, and his wife looked up at Dr. Marks, shook her head and said, "His mother has been dead for 20 years". That man waited in his truck and has never stepped foot in the office again.

I'm sure this won't be a surprise to you but Randy did just fine. He held Miles in his lap with his head facing the floor. Dr. Marks put some kind of speaker tape on Miles legs so he could listen on a computer for when he hit the muscle. He got Miles 4 injections. Two were on his upper legs and 2 were in his calves. Miles cried but not very hard. He cried harder yesterday morning when he wanted me to hold him than he did while getting the shots. Dr. Marks said that the pain medication takes the fight out of him.

Anyway, Miles is doing just fine. We should be able to tell a difference in about 3 days. His legs should be loosened so he can be casted next week after surgery.
So, it's the count down until cast day...

I can and I will

My husband’s sister had a daughter with cerebral palsy. She lived to be 17, but she only had the brain of a 3 month old. I would watch all that Sharon (My Sister in Law) had to do with her daughter Amanda. I watched her carry around her large 70 pound body from room to room. I watched Sharon feed her with a tube through her stomach. I watched her stay at home all the time because it was hard to take Amanda places. I vividly remember several times thinking to myself and saying aloud, “I could never do that”. I used to think that only parents that qualified as Saints could take care of handicapped children. Alas, having one of my own I can assure you that Sainthood is not a requirement.
You know, watching my Sister-in-Law I really did think that I couldn’t do what she did, but I can. There’s a lot of things we say that we can’t do, but we can. When you’re going through something hard you get a lot of comments like, “The Lord won’t give you more than you can handle.” These comments make you want to punch someone in the stomach, but it’s true. The Lord, the maker of the Universe, the maker of you knows what you were made for. The Holy Spirit, your Comforter is capable of helping you through anything.
When I first started realizing that my son Miles wasn’t growing developmentally the way he should I began to think about this vow I had made a long time ago while I watched Sharon. I changed my mind. I realized that I could do what she did. I can do what she did and more. I don’t allow myself to speak the words “I can’t” anymore because I know it’s not true. There’s a lot of things that “I don’t want to do”, but there’s nothing that I can’t do. (Yes, I know that the previous sentences has a triple negative in it, but that’s what the word can’t does to your life. It messes up the whole flow of things.)

Here’s a few “Can’ts” in my life that have been changed to I Can:
* I can’t take care of a handicap child—Yes I can, and I have peace in my heart.
* I can’t loose weight—Yes I can and I’m doing it.
* I can’t have 4 kids and go to school—Yes I can, and I made straight A’s.
* Randy can’t start his own business the day our third child is born—Yes he can and the Lord has been faithful to us by blessing Randy’s business.
* I can’t take care of a child that will be in a cast from his waist to his ankles for 6 to 8 weeks—Yes I can and the Lord will give me strength.
* I can’t have 5 children and be a Life Group leader—Yes I can and the Lord multiplies my time.

This is what the Lord says about you and me:
With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26)
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)
We are more than conquers. (Romans 8:37)
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)

What movie is this?

Yesterday I tried to blog on what I've been feeling lately and I couldn't get my words to work for me. Everything I wrote seemed to be a jumbled up mess. I ended up scrapping the whole post. Well, today I read part of the book called Epic by John Eldredge. These two pages explain perfectly what I've been feeling lately.

"Here's where we run into a problem. For most of us, life feels like a movie we've arrived at forty-five minutes late.
Something important seems to be going on...Maybe. I mean, good things do happen, sometimes beautiful things. You meet someone, fall in love. You find that work that is yours alone to fulfill. But tragic things happen too. You fall out of love, or perhaps the other person falls out of love with you. Work begins to feel like a punishment. Everything starts to feel like an endless routine.
If there is meaning to this life, then why do our days seem so random? What is this drama we've been dropped into the middle of? If there is a God, what sort of story is he telling here? At some point we begin to wonder if Macbeth wasn't right after all: Is life a tale "told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing?"
No wonder we keep losing heart.
We find ourselves in the middle of a story that is sometimes wonderful, sometimes awful, often a confusing mixture of both and we haven't a clue how to make sense of it all. It's like we're holding in our hands some pages out of a torn book. These pages are the days of our lives. Fragments of a story. They seem important, or at least we long to know they are, but what does it all mean? If only we could find the book that contains the rest of the story.
Chesterton had it right when he said, "With every step of our lives we enter into the middle of some story which we are certain to misunderstand".
Walk into any large mall, museum, amusement park, university, or hospital and you will typically meet at once a very large map with the famous red star and the encouraging words YOU ARE HERE. These maps are offered to visitors as ways to orient themselves to their situation, get some perspective on things. This is the Big Picture. Hopefully you now know where to go. You have your bearings.
Oh, that we had something like this for our lives.
"This is the Story in which you have found yourself. Here is how it got started. Here is where it went wrong. Here is what will happen next. Now this-this is the role you've been given. If you want to fulfill your destiny, this is what you must do. These are the cues. And here is how things are going to turn out in the end".
We can.
We can discover the Story. Maybe not with perfect clarity, maybe not in the detail that you would like, but in greater clarity than most of us now have, and that would be worth the price of admission. I mean, to have some clarity would be gold right now.
Wouldn't it?"


Gold...Yes it would be.

Miss Mella

The other day I was cooking and all the kids were hanging out in the kitchen with me. Melody opened up the refrigerator and she said so excitedly, "Oohh Lotion!" She pulled out the butter spray and squirted it on her arms and rubbed it in. :)

UPDATE

Monday we took Miles to Ft.Worth for his neurology appointment. We had a 9:30 appointment, and we planned on going there for a quick no help check up and then take a fun trip to Six Flags. Our plans were interrupted. Dr. Marks, the neurologist said that we had to get Miles' hip taken care of quickly. We found out two weeks ago that Miles' right hip was dislocated. Miles' leg muscles are pretty tight so during his last growth spurt when he grew his muscles pulled his hip out of socket. We had already filled out an application to see a specialist at Scottist Rite hospital in Dallas, but Dr. Marks said that they could take care of it at Cook's Hospital for us. He got us an appointment for later that afternoon with Dr. Messer, an orthopedic surgeon. The appointment was made for 1:30 which meant that we had Spencer (6), Jocie (4) and Miles (1) all hanging out at the hospital while we waited for the appointment. I will also mention that Jocie & Spencer were waiting for their trip to Six Flags! Well, the kids were perfect! It was amazing how wonderful they were. We went exploring around the hospital. We found a lot to do.
We saw Dr. Messer and he had x-rays taken of Miles' hips. We got to see the x-rays and his hip is out for sure. Spencer said, "Oh good...I've never got to see the inside of Miles".
Here's the plan that BOTH Dr. Marks & Dr. Messer think is best for Miles:
Next month Dr. Messer wants to cut Miles' abductor muscles (which is the inside thigh muscle) he wants to cut them and lengthen them and then put his hip back into socket, and work on the other hip to make sure it doesn't happen to that one. Then Miles will be put into a cast from the waist to his ankles with a bar in between his legs to keep his legs apart. They will leave a small hole for me to change his diaper. He will be in this cast for 6 to 8 weeks.
My comment over and over that day was this, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" They assured me that they were not kidding me. I asked Dr. Messer if this is something that we should do because it seemed extreme to me. He told that a lot of things they can do are questionable if they should do it or not, but he told me that no one would say this is questionable. He told me any doctor would agree that we should do this. He explained to me what he would have to do for a 4 or 5 year old with a dislocated hip and it's terrible. It involves cutting the bone, and twisting it...he also said that at 14 or 15 he wouldn't even do it and that the kid just has to be in pain. Anyway, he said that since Miles is so young that this is the time to do it. Since then I've talked to Miles' physical therapist and his pediatrician and they've all agreed on this plan.
I was totally freaking out yesterday but today I'm feeling better. It sounds crazy, but they are saying that by doing this it's Miles' chance to walk. It will align his legs and ankles so they will be straight. That's exciting.
Here's what's not exciting...MY BABY WILL BE IN A CAST FROM THE WAIST TO THE ANKLES FOR 6 TO 8 WEEKS!!!!! What in the world? I asked Dr. Marks how we would take Miles in the carseat and he said, "It will be a challenge". I will just say that this is not an answer. He also said that he wished they would install a hanger in the cast so we could just hang him up at night in the closet before bed. He was kidding of course but it sure seems like a strange joke.
We talked to Dr. Wiley yesterday about the carseat issue and he said that the hospital will help us out with things like that. He said that they will let us use a flat carseat that will lay down in the car and it has a strap with it. Also, JoBeth (his PT) said that parents usually cart their kids around in a wagon everywhere during this time.

So here's the deal: The surgery is scheduled for August 23. He will go on August 18 to see Dr. Marks to get Botox injections into his legs to loosed up his muscles so they can be stretched into the casting position. Dr. Marks will give Miles shots in his legs and ankles to give him some relief in his muscles tightness.

The decision to be made is if we are going to do this. This is not something I can figure out and make a decision. We just have to hear God and what he's wanting us to do. Please pray that we will KNOW what the Lord wants us to do, that Miles will not be in pain while he waits for his hip to be fixed, pray that the Lord heals him before all this has to take place & pray that I will not be upset about all of this.

I know the Lord is going to heal Miles. I just don't know how he plans to do it. If he wants to use this surgery to help Miles I am willing. If he doesn't want us to do this then we won't. I just need to know what HE wants us to do.

Need a laugh?

My Grandma gave the boys a book today that has been cracking me up. I thought I would share a few funny bits with you. The book is called "Kids Sure Rite Funny" by Art Linkletter. These quotes have been taken from kid's school papers and exams. I hope you get a kick out of them. (all the spelling is the way the kids's spelled on their papers)

Here is a queer-type bird. A oscridge that does not fly but runs like a horse. Except he uses two legs which makes him a queer-type horse, too.

(Describe DEMOSTHENES.)
I have never seen any of these.

one of my favorites....By titling his poem "Leaves of Grass" Walt Witman let us know it is poetry that is coming. If the title says something impossible we can know it is poetry and get ready for it. AMEN

I am not sure who wrote The Devil's Disciple, but this afternoon I will be where I can find out.

I think the greatest need in books today is one to briefly review all of man's knowledge up to now so we can get on with learning new things.

Tides are interesting if you happen to be interested in them.

Pigs like to be clean. They try to do it by rolling in the mud, not being as smart as we are.

The difference between bones and skeletons are the same except we live ones have bones while the dead ones have skeletons.

DEPORT is to export without wanting to go. (That was for my friend erica)

X's are becoming close to extinct, being used mainly just for signing and kissing.

Although I am rather weak in biology, I am the best they is in English class.

I plan to be married one day. Longer than one day really. It is just that this is how it is usually said.

(My favorite)
I have resolved this year not to fight my sister unless she fights me first or makes me mad or I feel like it.

Oh yeah, New Phone! Oh yeah, New Phone!

Randy bought me a new phone yesterday and it's a good thing to because my phone was old!

Your part- (HOW OLD WAS IT?)

My phone was so old that it had a rotary dial! My phone was so old that the size of it made you wonder if I cut the cord off my house phone so I could pretend I had a cell phone!
Joey always wanted to know why my phone didn't have games on it like other people's cell phones. The only game my phone played was "I won't die".
For Mother's Day I told Randy that I wanted a new phone. I saw it coming that it wasn't going to work out so I talked him into buying some "Bling" for my phone to hold me over. We went to the mall and bought some white and pink rhinestones to glue on to make it look cuter. Well, Randy insisted on putting them on for me, and being the "more is better" man that he is he just knew that the dinky sticky glue that came on the rhinestones wasn't going to be enough so he bought some super glue to stick those babies on. All the shiny bling turned out to look like a hazy super glue mess. It looked like a Kindergarten craft gone bad. Here's the kicker...The phone was so huge that the package of "Bling" didn't have enough rhinestones to cover my phone so it looked like someone got tired of fighting with super glue and gave up on the whole thing. It was terrible. Even Joey thought the thing looked embarrassing.
So, my old "Patchy Bling" phone will stay at the job site where it will feel more comfortable. I think Randy's going to try to sandblast the "Bling"off.

About the new phone...Wow! Who knew you could program phone numbers into a cell phone? It's nice!
The only thing I cared about was that it was cute and small. (It is) It's light pink and it just came out yesterday.
The only thing that Randy cared about was if the ringer was going to be loud enough for me to hear it. It frustrates him when calls me and I don't hear the phone. Yesterday when we were looking at the phones Randy was messing with all the ringers to find out which one was the loudest. He had the salesman frantically trying to find the loudest phone which could be heard through my purse. I walked all the way past The Express to assure Randy that I could hear the phone across my house. Anyway, it all worked out. It's a cute little phone and it calls people. Sweet! CALL ME!